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Communication
Anjali Singh June 7th, 2022 · 7min read

5 Healthy Texting Habits To Build A Strong Relationship With Your Partner

Did you know what is the most used source of communication among people? Texting! On average, we humans spend nearly 23 hours a week texting! And to top it all, an individual reads a message within 5 seconds of it popping on our screen.

But wait! Why am I sharing these facts with you in the first place?

The answer is: To make you understand how inevitable texting has become in our life. It is like the key to keeping a relationship going. However, we completely dismiss how our texts are impacting our relationships. This is something I want you to shift your focus on.

Because if you ask experts your healthy texting habits can help you build a strong relationship with your partner. On the flip side, if your texting game is weak or unhealthy, you might clearly see its undesirable impact on your relationship.

So take a deep breath now, get a pen and paper, and start making notes on shifting from unhealthy texting habits to healthy ones.

Healthy Texting Habits: Your Relationship Booster

1. Texting With Confidence and Not Overthinking

Are you still thinking about whether you should send that text or not? Or are you constantly backspacing your messages? Overthinking your messages can hinder your way to express your true self. That is why we would recommend you to keep the overthinking hats aside and wear your confidence.

Through confidence, your texting will get the element of your natural feelings and emotions embedded in. This, in turn, marks for healthy texting for your relationship. Let us text messages be flowy to leave a lasting impact.

2. Staying Consistent While Texting

Receiving text messages at the same rate and pace from an individual is more welcoming than either receiving too many or too few messages. Apart from the number of messages you receive, the type of messages has a role to play here.

Receiving too long paragraphs from a two-liner messaging partner can hinder your texting compatibility and vice-versa. The next important factor that will help you keep your texting consistent is to decide on when to sign on and sign off from a conversation. Remember the key is consistent, not constant texting.

3. Having Healthy Texting Boundaries

Boundaries are important in every form of relationship. While you might have set certain emotional and physical boundaries with your partner, why leave texting behind? It is indeed important that you have healthy texting boundaries with your partner that ensures your mental peace and well-being.

Richardson has suggested some ways in which you can add the element of healthy boundaries to your relationship. This includes setting time limits to your texting (no midnight texts or no messages during work hours), only discussing a few things over texting and leaving others for a phone call or in-person communication, avoiding arguing over texts, and more.


Are you and your partner practicing healthy texting boundaries? Share it with us in the comments section, and we shall add it in our write up!


4. Evenly and Equally Texting

Is it just you texting and the other person replying? Red flag detected! Neither of you can be always initiating conversation in your relationship. For your texting to be healthy enough to make your relationship stronger, making it mutual and reciprocal is crucial.

And it is not only about who initiates conversation but the factor that the same amount of conversation is contributed from both ends that makes a difference. Make sure that your texting is equal and even. Here is a simple formula for you to keep a check of: review your text and see if it is a near 50/50 split.

If there is any hiccup like you texting too often or receiving too many messages, communicate it over with your partner. And if it is all healthy, congo! Maintain it!

5. Avoiding Obsessing Over Texting

Well, texting does make your partner just a ping away from you but it does not mean that you have to keep pinging them for their attention! Obsessing over texting in the form of loading your partner’s screen with emoji or long paragraphs can cause annoyance in the relationship.

Texting all day and obsessively may be fun for you and your partner at the beginning of the relationship but along time it does turn into an unhelpful habit. Make sure that you keep your texting healthy by avoiding 24/7 messaging and being overly available. Moderation is the key here.

Important Texting and Relationship Questions Answered For You

1. What is the normal amount of texting in a relationship?

It is a subjective question to answer as it will differ from couple to couple. As Caver says “Some couples can text each other all day long about numerous subjects, others just touch base with two to five texts a day.”

Maybe for me and my partner, 2 hours of texting is sufficient to make our relationship strong and smooth, but that for Mr. X and Mrs. Y maybe 5 hours. However, certain factors can help you decide the normal amount of texting for you and your relationship.

  • Remember their work schedule and try not to ping them during their working hours (unless urgent).
  • Drop at least one morning and night message, for a perfect start and end of the day.
  • Have a dedicated time for texting that does not breach your other schedules or commitments.

2. Is constant texting helpful in a relationship?

Excessive texting is an unhelpful texting habit in a relationship. It marks the opposite of care and love. Constant texting is a sign of being clingy and feeling insecure in a relationship. In extreme case scenarios, it even marks as a warning sign of digital dating abuse. So we would recommend you avoid constant texting to make your partner feel secure and loved in the relationship.

3. What are the common texting mistakes that you should avoid?

Relationship experts have identified a few common mistakes that people in relationships commit while texting. You may consider them as unhelpful habits that should be avoided at all costs.

  • Asking too many questions over texts. This can exhaust your partner, resulting in conflict.
  • Discussing sensitive issues over texting. You may tell your partner over text that you wish to discuss something sensitive with them but starting the whole conversation there may result in misunderstanding.
  • Sending long conversations. By doing so the essence of your true message goes missing plus the other person might not be readily available to read the whole thing.
  • Arguing over texts. Unlike in-person meetings or video calls text messages don’t come with an expression of emotion. That is why instead of working as a coolant a message may trigger a further argument.

Texting is meant to help us stay connected, feel secure, and enjoy the warmth of our loved ones from a distance (digitally).

But as Anita Chlipala, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to Lasting Love says, “The downfall of texting is that it can create anxiety and conflict in relationships.”

So make sure that you are practicing these healthy texting habits in your relationship and sticking by the positives that texting has to offer.

P.S.: Do not forget that your phone has other options open to connect with your partners like calls and video calls. Do put them to use at times to avoid texting exhaustion.

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