Marriage And Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Making Romantic Relationships With BPD Successful!

Last Update on May 8, 2024 : Published on May 8, 2024

A lot of people from Social media messaged us and asked if it’s really possible to exchange rings when diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder (BPD) or get married to people diagnosed with BPD.

Well, the answer is quite simple, BPD is a type of personality disorder that can have direct negative impacts on the relationship (be it romantic, familial, or any other kind of relationship).

However, with the help of the right coping techniques, one can effectively manage their relationship with BPD. Want to know how? Well, let’s take a deep look at how marriages or romantic relationships with BPD work in this blog. 

Before starting, if you’re new to BPD, here’s what you need to know:

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder that can be identified by unstable emotions and moods, behavior, and relationships. Fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, shifting or unclear self-image, self-destructive behaviors, self-harm, impulsive thoughts, and explosive anger are some of the common symptoms of BPD.

According to the research, BPD can be mainly caused by stressful or traumatic life events such as abuse, neglect, violence, or abandonment. The frontline treatment method for BPD is psychotherapy such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), schema-focused therapy, and transference-focused therapy, along with medications. 

Quick Fact-Check: BPD Marriage Statistics

  • Research shows that 70% of people with BPD get married at some point. 
  • One study revealed that out of all participants 32% participants were currently living with their partner. 
  • People with BPD tend to have lower divorce and remarry rates as compared to the general population. 
  • One study revealed that recovered BPD patients are able to maintain a healthy married life. 

What are the Negative Impacts of BPD on a Romantic Relationship and Marriage?

A few of the main symptoms of BPD are fear of abandonment and unstable relationships which can have direct negative effects on a marriage and romantic relationship. People diagnosed with BPD often describe their relationships as chaotic and turbulent because they constantly struggle with high-end conflicts, stress, and dysfunction. Other negative impacts of BPD on a romantic relationship can be: 

  • The constant fluctuation between the excessive need for attention and sudden avoidance 
  • Excessive fear of abandonment 
  • Needy or clingy behaviors 
  • Deception and constant lying 
  • Impulsive behaviors or thoughts 
  • Sexual issues 
  • Difficulty maintaining relationship 
  • Obsessive personality 
  • Constant emotional switchbacks 
  • Emotional sensitivity 

How to Make a Relationship Work with BPD?

If you or your partner has BPD, follow the below-mentioned strategies to manage a romantic relationship with BPD: 

1. Connect with a mental health professional for counseling

If you or your partner has recently been diagnosed with BPD and you’ve not connected with a mental health professional yet, the Calm Sage team strongly recommends you connect with a certified and experienced mental health professional. A mental health professional can help you gain proper insights and seek the right support through therapy and medications. 

To connect with a mental health professional through online platforms, click below: 


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One of the best parts about therapy is that partners can accompany each other during sessions. Additionally, you can also seek help to make the relationship successful based on your personality and personal experiences. Herein, you can also take the help of couples counseling. 

2. Learn more about BPD

While accompanying or supporting your partner through therapy sessions, learn more about BPD, therapy sessions, symptoms, causes, or self-help techniques to support your partner the right way. In this way, you will understand their condition deeply and will be able to administer the right support during gloomy days or emergencies. 

3. Offer extended support

Make sure you offer extended support to your partner so that they can feel trusted by you. This way they will be able to communicate more effectively and express their emotions without being judged. Additionally, they will also be able to free themselves from emotional sensitivity, fear of abandonment, or triggers. 

4. Work on open and honest communication 

Before communicating with your partner, always look after their mood and symptoms. Communicate about your needs only when they’re ready to listen and reflect. When you see individual recovery, make a love road map, follow through, and set healthy expectations for each other. 

5. Understand your partner’s symptoms 

One of the best ways to make your relationship work with BPD is to understand your partner’s symptoms and root causes. For example, if your partner got diagnosed with BPD due to childhood abandonment or abuse, look after their symptoms such as fear of abandonment, excessive clinginess, or emotional sensitivity.

In this way, you’ll be able to help them effectively. Additionally, track your partner’s symptoms to create a crisis plan and to ensure proper recovery. 

6. Involve in self-care together

During the process, don’t neglect your own emotional needs, get involved in self-care together, and enjoy quality time. 

I hope this blog helps you understand how to make a marriage or romantic relationship work when diagnosed with BPD. Comment down and share your views on the same or you can also write to us at Calm Sage. 

For more such content, connect with us through all social media platforms. 

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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