Signs You’re Dating Someone With Depression | How to Support

Last Update on August 10, 2022 : Published on August 14, 2022
Dating Someone with depression

Depression is a mental health condition that can be characterized by intense feelings of sadness, a lack of interest in things you once enjoyed, and a lack of energy. Depression has a negative impact on the way you think, feel, and act.

Did you know there are 17 million American adults who are dealing with depression at present? That’s a huge number, there is a high chance for you to date someone with depression. I say so because most of the 17 million depressed people belong to the 18 to 30 years age group.

If you are dating someone with depression, there can be quite a few roadblocks in your relationship. If you do not know how to deal with someone with depression, you might feel frustrated, irritated, and dissatisfied in your relationship with someone who has depression.

Today, in this blog we are going to talk about signs you’re dating someone with depression and tips for dating someone with depression.

Signs You’re Dating Someone With Depression

Some relationships break just because they didn’t know that they are dating someone with depression, that’s why knowing the signs of you dating someone with depression is very important. There is a lot that goes unsaid when you date someone with depression. When you realize that you’re dating someone with depression, a lot of things will just start to make sense.

Let’s have a look at the signs you’re dating someone with depression;

1. They are a lot more negative than others: when you date someone with depression you need to understand that they are unable to feel joy and happiness. So when you tell them the good news, there are high chances of them either not replying at all or giving you a negative response

2. They often withdraw themselves: your partner has begun to ignore social gatherings or simply go out on dates with you. This might mean they have depression and are not out of love with you.

3. Change in appetite/weight: suddenly gaining or reducing a lot of weight without actually doing it on purpose can be a warning sign that you are dating someone with depression.

4. They ignore their friends and family: if you are dating someone with depression, see if they have stopped talking to their friends and family. If they have, it can be because of depression.

5. They cry and complain a lot lately: if your partner has begun to just cry their eyes out for no good reason or complain a lot, there is a high chance they might be suffering from depression.

6. Their work efficiency has reduced: they can’t seem to work as hard and efficiently as they used to before. They simply begin to suck at work, they don’t have their heart in anything they do.

7. They engage in risky behaviors: they have suddenly begun to engage in risky behaviors like substance/drug abuse, indulging in life-threatening activities, and irresponsible behavior.

Tips For Dating Someone With Depression

Now that you know the signs of dating someone with depression, I hope it is going to be easy for you to recognize depression in your partner. Knowing that your partner has depression can have a huge impact on you.

There are two most important things that you need to keep in mind if you’re dating someone with depression. Firstly, your depressed partner doesn’t need your advice, they need your support and secondly, you need to take care of yourself too while supporting your depressed partner.

Here are a few tips for dating someone with depression;

1. Educate yourself:

Once you know that you’re dating someone with depression, the first sign you do is to gain as much knowledge as you can about depression, symptoms of depression, and treatment options. This will help you get to know your partner better in terms of their condition. When you know about a condition, it will aid in providing them proper help that they need.

2. Be flexible with them:

Dating someone with depression can make you change plans at the last moment. It will be best for you to be flexible in your ways so that they feel comfortable with you. They are going to be unpredictable, they might simply reduce to do certain things and you will have to make some massic changes just for them. So, be prepared for changes and be flexible so that neither of you feels overburdened.

3. Do not put the blame on you:

Their depression is not because of you. Depression can stem from anything that they have experienced in life. You will not sink their boat, you’ll sail it. Blaming yourself will start affecting your mental health. The best way to deal with is to neither blame yourself nor shame them for having depression.

4. Listen to them:

It’s important that you listen to your partner. It’s one way they’ll begin healing. If they are opening up to you, just be there for them and mindfully listen to them. Proper communication can really help you understand the struggles of your partner and also help in strengthening your relationship.

5. It’s not your job to fix them:

It’s not your job to fix them because they aren’t broken. They are experiencing a low and with the correct professional treatment they will get back to how they were. If you take this burden of trying to fix them or fix things for them, you’ll soon be crushed under the weight of this burden.

6. Acknowledge your needs:

While taking care of your depressed partner you can feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Take some time off for yourself and indulge in self-care. A break will only give you even more strength and power to support and help your partner. You can book a self-pampering session, go to a peaceful place for a day or so, read a book, etc.

7. Tell them that you’re there for them:

They might feel lost and lonely, if you really want to help and support your partner, tell them that you are there for them. Let them feel your presence by being beside them when they have a breakdown. Listen to them and take note of what and how they are feeling so that you can understand them better.

8. Be empathetic towards them:

It’s important to feel empathetic and show your empathy toward them. Don’t ever try to overshadow them to minimize their problems. Telling them that depression is just a phase, will not work in your favor. Tell them that you know how difficult it might be for them, and make them feel heard.

9. Know their love language:

It’s very easy to feel unloved by your partner if you’re dating someone with depression. Get to know about their love language, it’ll help you understand how much they love you. We all have different love languages, and knowing each other’s love language can solve half of the relationship issues.

10. Don’t force them to be happy:

You need to know that being in depression is not a choice that they’ve made, they can’t just be happy because you’re telling them to be. If you force them to be happy, their depression might just worsen.

How To Help Yourself When You Are Dating Someone with Depression?

When you get to know that someone you’re dating has depression and you decide to take care of them, let me tell you, it’s a huge responsibility. Not many people realize that the one who helps others with their mental health conditions also needs help.

When you help your partner with depression you become a candle for them to help see the correct path. Remember when a candle helps others see, it pays a price, it melts. You melt too while taking care of your partner.

Here are a few things you can do for yourself if you are dating someone with depression;

  • Take some time out for self-care, and engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Take frequent breaks.
  • You are not your partner’s therapist, you don’t have to take the responsibility of healing them. All you have to support them through their road to recovery.
  • Cut yourself some slack. be self-critical and engaging in self-blame will directly impact your mental health
  • Know that you need to help yourself first in order to help your partner with depression.
  • See a therapist yourself so that you can vent all the emotions that you have produced because of living with someone who has depression
  • Don’t judge yourself. You are never being selfish for looking out for yourself. You need care and attention too.

That’s All Folks!

I hope you found this blog informative, interesting, and helpful. If you are dating someone with depression, you don’t need to panic, just accompany them to the therapist and support them through their journey. You are going to need a lot of patience so make sure you don’t overdo yourself and take breaks for your mental peace.

Do keep these signs you’re dating someone with depression in mind so that it’s easy for you to recognize depression in a relationship. I hope these tips on dating someone with depression help you save your relationship with your partner.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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