7 Ways To Communicate When Angry Like Emotionally Intelligent People

Last Update on October 19, 2020 : Published on October 14, 2020
how to Communicate when angry like an emotionally sound person

We all get mad and it is absolutely natural. The actual challenge is the method to vent out your anger and communicate the thoughts. One way is being impulsive and lashing out the first thing that comes in your mind but the risk of ruining your interpersonal relationships is higher here. So what do emotionally intelligent people do so that they can communicate when angry and yet save the decency of relationships?

Well, it is surprising to know that they also don’t hide their feelings inside but their anger, frustration, embarrassment and disappointment find subtle ways to come out. They are just a little more empathetic and know how harshness of words could harm many things unexpectedly. So let’s explore some effective ways on how to communicate when angry.

Ways To Communicate When Angry

1. Feel The Anger But Wait To Respond

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 It is natural to feel angry when something is happening against your wish, so feel the anger. It is also important to not to cover your angry feelings with positive ones, just let it be the way it is. Embracing anger is a sign of emotional stability and holding it appropriately is another one to it. Just don’t act upon your anger straight away but keep it on a hold, prepare it for the right time and release later.

It sounds little typical to many people but understand that quick response to your anger will only create fireballs around.

2. Wait If Someone Else Is Also Angry

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Even though you may be ready to communicate effectively, if the listener is not ready to get the point then drop the idea. Moreover, if someone else is angry with you then do not get angry over them or take their actions personally. Try figuring out the problem that caused the anger. It could be a misunderstanding or instance of miscommunication, whatever be it, take a step back and wait for the right moment.

3. Express With ‘I Feel’ Language

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Imagine speaking these two sentences:

  • I feel that I am really hurt by what just happened.
  • How dare you speak like that to me?

Which sentence would you like to take up as an emotionally sound human? Your words and articulation matter during communication when angry. The former sentence would let the other person stick around you and a willingness to listen comes up. However, if you use the latter one then the result would only be a furious relationship.

4. Keep Sticking To The Subject

Instead of discussing over multiple other things, it is important to stick to the subject. For example, when you are talking about financial matters to your colleagues then avoid listing out all the problems you had at the party before. If you do not stick to one subject, the conversation would not go productive but only fall back in the trash.

5. Listen To What They Have To Say

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When you are finding how to communicate without anger, it doesn’t mean the actions considered are from your end alone. You need to pay attention to the other person’s view at the same time. Remember that you are not speaking to an object but to a human being who possesses another world inside him.

Who knows that your problem may sort out in a better way than expected, just be open for a healthy discussion.

6. Pen Down Your Thoughts

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Consider it as your own mandatory worksheet. Whenever you wish to blurt out in anger, refining of thoughts and words is utmost necessary. And this refining could be best done by you and your diary alone.

  • What made you angry?
  • What are your thoughts at the moment?
  • What do you want in future and what can be done next for best possible results?

When you vent out your thoughts through journaling, it becomes easier for you to filter out the next course of action and find out the validity of your own judgements.

7. How About Some Humor?

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If you feel like taking a huge step in between the angry fighting, imagine just laughing it off and pacifying the situation. Could you? Yes, you can! If you force yourself to laugh or smile in a tense situation, you are actually being reasonable no matter what the person in front of you thinks. But make sure that you don’t pinch in the sarcasm or else you are just going to make situations worse.


Now that you know how to communicate without anger and prepare yourself to become an emotionally intelligent person, we are sure that life will be more pleasing than before. Remember that anger doesn’t come often to anyone, so make sure that your actions are beautifully articulated that neither hurts anyone nor refrain you from expressing.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.


  1. Akshita

    I Love penning down the thoughts be it anger or happiness. Thanks for this guide, though.

  2. Aditi Singh
    Aditi Singh

    Nice tips and techniques. Enjoyed this article while reading.

  3. Mansi Vijay
    Mansi Vijay

    Keeping patience is probably the best key to handle such situations!

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