Blame Game: Why Blaming Others Is A Step Back For Ourselves?
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”– Robert Anthony
Honestly, I have blamed others for my own mistakes earlier and my hands aren’t clean either. But now when I think about those times, I regret the chance which I missed to stand and accept my mistake. Now when I accept my mistakes in front of others, it still does embarrass me a little but I cannot explain the sense of relief within.
So why do we blame others when fortune goes wrong with us? Do you try to figure out the cause of the problem simply or start blaming others for the problem? As per psychology, people who blame others think themselves as foolish, irresponsible or have fear of being laughed at. This tendency is called ‘Internal attribution for failure’. The other concept is ‘Fundamental attribution error’ where people easily try to excuse the negative behavior that they usually blame others for doing.
So Why Do We Blame Others?
It’s easy, right! It is always easy to put blame on others and walk free from the chains of consequences. What else? Let’s find out.
1. Blaming is an excellent way to defend yourself. You can hide all your flaws and keep your self-esteem high in front of others by blame-shifting.
2. Blaming others saves you from being attacked, rather you become the attacker and try to hide your own mistakes.
3. Blaming someone else saves from the responsibility of actions. Whenever there is a good fortune, you accept the credit but the faults are always turned over to someone else. Isn’t that so?
4. Lying is easy. For example, you visited someone’s place and broke the vase in the room without no body noticing you. Now you could either say that your pet suddenly jumped on it and broke or accept that you broke it. The fear of consequences makes it easier for people to lie. However, sometimes consequences aren’t as bad as already imagined.
5. Some people cannot accept the truth because of childhood instances that lead to adult attachment issues. The insecure attachment leads them to not to accept their faults, and even accept responsibilities.
Blaming others may help in escaping from a good moment but have you ever found guilty afterwards? That’s bad, right? Forget the future consequences, let us figure out why blaming is a step back for your own good.
Consequences Of Blaming Others
1. Missing A Chance To Understand Yourself:
You think you have escaped from a bad scenario and someone else will figure out how to sort the problem now. But you have actually missed a chance to cherish your power and find your own self-worth. What if you would have accepted the truth and tried solving the issue? Wouldn’t it help in your personal growth?
2. Missing A Chance Being Independent:
Accepting responsibility and correcting it is a way to show your independence and the power to tackle things with courage. Even though you may find yourself getting anxious or confused, you have already stepped onto a path of becoming better.
3. Shows Helplessness:
Even though you may feel better for a moment, the blame game is a sign of powerlessness and helplessness.
4. Piling Your Reasons For Being Sad:
Who wants to sit over a pile of problems? Well, blaming others and not solving the problem will only make you sad in the long run. Some people have reported falling into depression as they could neither express their mistake nor their reasons for being depressed. Ultimately, loneliness can bring heaviness in life.
How To Stop Blaming Anyone Else For Your Actions?
Now that I can see you are becoming stronger and ready to accept the challenges smartly, here is how you can play cool without blaming anyone else for your actions.
1. Talk to your loved ones or someone you trust and discuss your next course of action after accepting the responsibility. Acknowledging the action isn’t enough, you need to put a step forward to do the right thing, and your loved ones would certainly help you.
2. Make a conscious choice when it comes to taking responsibility. Sometimes, the habit of displacing blame leads to repetition in future. Make sure that if anything like happens, you choose the right action.
3. Professional help is another way to understand the psychological changes you experience during a particular event. They help you with decision making as well as try resolving any issues that are lingering in your mind. Let us help you connect with one by dropping us a message at firstname.lastname@example.org.
4. Don’t be scared to do the right thing. You did it, accept it. Rest everything will itself take into place. At least, you bothered to fit the right block. Relax!
As we have learned that blaming others may result in backlash and it happened with me as well. So take a deep breath, be firm and remain gentle. After all, we are human beings and mistakes are part of our life, so why worry being judged? Smile and smile, nothing can beat your efforts to do right and still smile for others.
Can you do that? I bet you can!