“Is My Marriage Making Me Depressed?” The 10 Signs To Look Out For!
In the years you’ve been married, have you ever had this question, “Is my marriage making me depressed?” Well, if you have then you’re certainly not the only one. There are signs to help you understand if your depression is situational and that your marriage is a factor.
Depression can make you feel hopeless, helpless, and in a perpetual state of grumpiness. You feel empty, tired all the time, and feel a loss of interest in the activities you once enjoyed. Along with these symptoms, depression can make you ruminate on negative thoughts.
Many factors can contribute to depression but in a marriage, a lack of equality and abuse can be a few of the most common factors. But can an unhappy marriage be the only cause of depression in a marriage?
Most of the time, the problems and unhappiness in your marriage can be simply because you’re experiencing situational depression. This type of depression is short-term and stress-related. Situational depression can develop after witnessing or living through a traumatic event. This type of depression can also be considered a type of adjustment disorder as it makes it challenging to adjust to your day-to-day life.
On a side note, women are more prone to experience depression post-divorce than men. However, the difference in this number can be because of the stigmas surrounding men’s mental health.
Let’s take a look at the signs your marriage is making you depressed:
Signs It’s Your Marriage Making You Depressed
1. You Feel A Power Imbalance
Depression can manifest when you are made to feel smaller and less than in a relationship where you’re supposed to be an equal partner. While a simple power imbalance can cause depression, it can be healthy when one partner helps nurture the other. However, in a romantic relationship, when one partner is dominating the other, then it can cause a power imbalance that is not healthy.
2. You’re Constantly Criticized
And I’m not talking about constructive criticism either. While positive feedback can be a great thing, criticism, on the other hand, can be a put-down. When one partner is constantly criticizing the other, it can make the other feel invalidated and can cause serious emotional distress. While occasional critical words are not harmful, constant criticism and negative judgment are.
3. Your Partner Bosses You Around
No one likes being bossed around and especially by their partner. Even a simple demand for a glass of wine in a relationship is more than likely to trigger annoyance and, on a higher scale, depression. When your partner constantly bosses you around and makes you feel inferior, then it can be a reason your marriage might make you feel depressed.
4. Your Partner Tries To Control You
Not only your time but your finances, your friendships, your family visits, etc. When your partner tries to control all of these aspects of your life, then it’s a sure way to evoke feelings of depression and hopelessness. One classic example of this can be when your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink rather than washing them or putting them aside, then it’s a sign they are controlling your actions rather than helping you in the relationship.
5. Your Partner Avoids Accepting Their Mistakes
There are times when you are wrong and your partner is right and vice versa. However, it’s OK if your partner is right as long as they don’t force you to be right even when they are wrong. If your partner constantly argues that they are “always right” or if they avoid accepting their mistakes, then it can be a problem. Not only for the relationship but you as well. Because, if your partner is “always right” then that makes you “always wrong”.
6. Your Voice Is Unheard
Listening is a healthy habit in a relationship as it involves opinions from both people. Listening can make you feel heard and your concerns validated. This includes the little things to big decisions – from what to get for dinner to which house to buy. If you’re always unheard and your opinions are not taken into consideration, then you are likely to feel powerless and depressed.
7. Your Partner Is Experiencing Depression
Just like positivity can be contagious, negativity can be contagious too. One partner struggling with depression can affect the other living with them. Adopting others’ negative moods is possible in a relationship so if your partner is experiencing depressive symptoms then you’re likely to catch some of their moods too. In this case, you can encourage your partner to seek therapy and spend more time outdoors.
8. Your Partner Has Anger Issues
Anger can also cause negativity in a relationship. When you’re on the receiving end of anger and irritation, then also you can develop feelings of depression. Anger is a strong unpleasant emotion that not only can harm the one getting angry but also those around them.
9. Your Partner Is Abusive
Abuse is not only physical or sexual but can be emotional and mental as well. Abuse can be seen in a relationship when one partner is too controlling or manipulating. Other examples of abuse in a relationship can be name-calling, screaming, hitting, and other similar behaviors. Abuse in a relationship does not equal a happy relationship. If you’re facing abuse of any kind in your relationship, it’s a sign you need to walk away. An abusive relationship can make you feel inferior and can mentally harm you, increasing the risk of depression in marriage.
10. You Are Not Equally Treated
A partner who actively and willingly helps you with the chores is good but when your partner fails to treat you equally in a relationship, it can increase the risk of depression in marriage. If you’re left to pick up after your partner – at home and socially – then you’re not considered an equal in their eyes and it’s time to rethink your marriage.
If you’re unhappy with your marriage and are feeling depressed, then you need to address the problem and seek support. Talk to your partner or reach out to a counselor for help to work through the depressive symptoms.
If you’re struggling with severe feelings or symptoms of depression, then you can immediately reach out to your local helpline number. Here are some resources to help you out:
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
- TrevorLifeline: 866-488-7386
- iCall: +91-9152-987-821
- AASRA: +91-9820-466-726
- Vandrevala Foundation: +91-9999-666-555
Remember, marriage is all about equal sharing and equal loving. If you’re made to feel inferior and put down in your marriage, then it’s time to rethink your marriage and compatibility.
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