5 Ways To Handle Emotional Blackmail In A Relationship

Last Update on December 11, 2020 : Published on December 13, 2020
How to handle emotional blackmail in a relationship

‘There will be very bad consequences if you leave me!’

‘I will open your secret to the world if you go against my wishes.’

‘You will do this if you really love me.’

‘And I always thought you loved me, huh!’

Are you subjected to emotional blackmail in a relationship where your partner is trying to control your every move and you just feel crazy? It is hard to deal with such emotional manipulation where you feel vulnerable with your partner instead of feeling loved and secured.

Emotional blackmail is actually a form of manipulation where one of the partners forces their demands by threatening the other one. The person will try to create fear, guilt, and frustration to make it happen. Even if you agree to their demands, you are still being victimized for their own negative behavior.

Some other examples of emotional blackmail in a relationship include:

  • If you ever talk to your friends, I will never talk to you.
  • If I find you looking at another woman, she will not be spared.
  • I will commit suicide if you leave me.
  • It is because of you that I didn’t get the promotion at work.

Handling emotional blackmail is definitely not easy but there is no need to sit back and feel the pain of being manipulated. Your voice is subsided and you just cannot figure out your own needs. This is why you should find out how to deal with blackmail in relationships so that you don’t feel intimidated again and hear your own voices beaming.

Types Of Emotional Blackmailers

  • Punishers: They threaten to hurt you emotionally as well as physically when their demands are not agreed.
  • Self-punishers: They try to hurt themselves if you don’t agree on their terms.
  • Sufferers: They show you that they will suffer if you take an unexpected turn.
  • Tantalizer: These people promise to make things better which sparks hope with the partner. However, the threat never leaves the relationship.

How To Handle Emotional Blackmail In Relationships?

Emotional Blackmail In Relationships

1. Set Boundaries For Yourself

Whenever you repel the blackmailing behavior of your partner or avoid the conversation during the phase, they get to understand that you will not take it anymore. Although it needs you to be courageous in the moment, such toxic behavior is just not acceptable. Scary, right? But here is how to begin to love yourself.

2. Tell Them That Love Doesn’t Have Space For Blackmailing

A famous quote says, ‘Some people earn love. Some people blackmail others into it.’ Make your partner understand that when a person loves you, they don’t need to threaten you for a healthy relationship. If threatened, you do not feel safe around the person and ultimately see the fall of a beautiful relationship.

3. Seek Help For Your Partner

The jealousy, emotional turmoil or lack of understanding between you two could be one the reasons why your partner is trying to emotionally blackmail you. They may need a psychologist or a therapist to keep the situation balanced. A therapist will help them uncover the real reasons behind their behavior and equip them with tools to deal with negative behavior.

With that, checkout the signs your relationship needs couple counseling. If you see active signs, drop us an email at info@calmsage.com to connect you with an experienced therapist.

4. Make A Positive Mindset

Believe it or not, your mindset plays an important role in dealing with emotional blackmail in a relationship. Tell yourself that you deserve respect and love! That’s it. Once you set your mindset, you try to deal with the stressful situations in an optimistic way.

5. Choose Healthy Relationship

You are never as weak that you cannot choose the kind of relationship and life with the person. You are free to negotiate the health of a relationship and can end it as per your personal choice. If things are getting out of hand and toxicity is on the rise, you know that moving on is certainly the best option, no matter how much emotional blackmail goes on. Be strong and choose what is right for you.

A Word From The Author

Remember, when a person is subjected to emotional blackmail in a relationship, they are compromising their self-esteem and integrity. Victims often find themselves isolated and find anxiety and depression surrounding them. Hence, when you feel blackmailed next time then make sure that you take a step back and analyze the situation and make healthy choices for yourself.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.


  1. Forb

    So well put 👌 but can a person whose emotionally blackmailed take a legal action too

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