How To Let Go Of Expectations (Why Is It Important?)

Last Update on November 4, 2022 : Published on November 5, 2022

We all have some expectations from ourselves and the people around us. There is nothing wrong in having expectations but can you recall how many times your expectations have left you feeling overwhelmed?

I can say for myself, my expectations have messed with my emotions and feelings many times. Having practical expectations might not do any harm. But when you have unrealistic expectations from yourself or others, you’ll come crashing down.

The most common example of when expectations hurt you is,  expecting a smooth ride to success. You expect to reach the top just by clearing a few obstacles but in reality, the journey is all about obstacles and not about the destination.

The point I’m trying to make is, the sooner you let go of your expectation the better your life is going to be. Expectations will only damage you, therefore letting go of your expectations is very important.

Why Is Letting Go Of Expectations So Important?

Expectations make you vulnerable. When you or someone else doesn’t live up to your expectations, don’t you feel all kinds of negative emotions? There is heartbreak, despair, disappointment, sadness, stress, etc.

You experience all these and many more feelings that emotionally and mentally damage you. When you expect something and when those expectations are not met, you disturb your own equilibrium. When the mental balance is disrupted you become vulnerable to various mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, etc. The peace in your life goes for a toss!

One of the most heartbreaking things about not being able to let go of expectations is that it ruins your present. You are constantly cribbing about how no one stood up to your expectations. The burden of having expectations from oneself or others can make you a negative person.

But what can be done about expectations, we all have them. What is the solution, you ask? “LET THEM GO” that’s the only solution if your expectations are weighing you down. Let’s see how you can do that.

How To Let Go Of Expectations?

It’s easier said than done. We all know unmet expectations can fill us with a lot of negative emotions. With each unmet expectation, our negative emotions build onto one another which eventually gives rise to some serious maladaptive behaviors and thought processes.

Letting go of your expectations might not be easy but it’s something that you can achieve. All you need is consistency, patience, and practice. Here are a few things that you can do to let go of expectations from yourself or others;

1. Recognize your expectations:

one of the most common mistakes we make is that we don’t truly recognize our expectations. Most expectations are either masked or unrealistic. Make a list of all the expectations you have for yourself and others. Now evaluate them and reject the ones that seem unrealistic or out of your control.

2. Make some changes in your thought process:

it’s human to have expectations but it’s necessary to let go of expectations. To do that you need to change your mindset. Replace your negative mindset with a positive one. If your expectations are unmet, look for the silver lining.

3. Determine your needs:

it’s important to differentiate between your needs and expectations. When you determine your needs and wants, it becomes easier to look at your list of expectations, you know what is unnecessary.

4. Be better prepared:

even when you have the least expectations, sometimes things don’t go as planned and that can be devastating. Therefore, it’s always better to be prepared and always have a backup plan.

5. Learn and practice self-control:

self-control is one of the most important traits one can possess. If you want to let go of your expectations, exercise self-control. Learn you have control over your actions, and behaviors, and most importantly have control over your thoughts. If you tell yourself “it’s not a big deal”, trust me, it won’t be a big deal.

6. Don’t raise your expectations from others:

one of the most important things that you need to do if you wish to let go of expectations and stop them from hurting you. You need to take care of two things; A) never expect others to do something you won’t do, and B) always expect half or less effort from other people.

That’s All Folks

I hope you found this blog about how to let go of expectations in life helpful, interesting, and thought-provoking. Expectation too much out of oneself or others will only bring disappointment in your life, relationships, etc.

It is always better to let go of expectations. Whatever happens after having no expectations is always valued and makes you feel good.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and let go of expectations to lead a happy life!

About The Author

Kirti Bhati
Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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