The Art of Attachment: What’s Your Attachment Style?
One of the toughest minefields to navigate in real life is relationships. Beneath the surface of our relationships, there is a hidden meaning that speaks volumes about the way we connect, feel, and more importantly, love. I’m talking about attachment styles and their roles in our relationships.
Imagine an artist’s color palette; attachment styles are like that! Various vibrant shades, each representing our responses, behaviors, and expectations in the relationship. From secure partners to romantic worries and from the ones scared to love to the fiercely independent ones, attachment styles can play a huge role in shaping our ideas of love and connection with others.
But what are these attachment styles, and what are they made up of? What secrets do they hold that can impact our relationships so fiercely?
The Types of Attachment Styles
There are four primary attachment styles that we all experience in our lives. They can be categorized into healthy or secure attachment styles and unhealthy or insecure attachment styles.
Here are the four attachment styles you should know about;
Secure Attachment Style:
As the term probably suggests, this attachment style is the healthiest one. If you have a secure attachment style, then you feel comfortable with both – intimacy and independence. You’re okay with emotional connection and are equally happy when you need some space to work out things. In relationships, people with a secure attachment style tend to be open, trusting, and supportive.
Anxious Attachment Style:
If you are the worrier in your relationship or have a constant fear of being abandoned by your partner, then you might have an anxious attachment style. You often seek reassurance from your romantic partners and could be hypersensitive to any changes – even minor ones – in your relationship. You are hyper aware of your emotional sensitivity and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop aka looking for signs of trouble in the relationship, even if there aren’t any.
Avoidant Attachment Style:
If you love your independence and feel safe in being single, then you might identify with the avoidant attachment style. You, with an avoidant attachment style, keep an emotional distance from everyone and everything, value self-sufficiency over depending on others, and avoid getting too attached to someone in a relationship. When someone gets too emotionally close to you, you pull away, needing room to breathe.
Disorganized Attachment Style:
This attachment style is the rollercoaster of them all. If you have a disorganized attachment style, then you display inconsistent and unpredictable behaviors when you’re in a relationship. You might have survived trauma or might have an unstable family relationship, causing you to feel a mix of anxious and avoidant attachment behaviors. This attachment style might even feel like a puzzle to people living with this attachment style too.
So, are you ready to know what your attachment style is? Keep scrolling!
Who Can Take This Quiz?
Before you say that only committed couples or married couples can take “What’s my Attachment Style?” Quiz, let me tell you; it doesn’t matter if you’re in a committed relationship, have a “complicated” relationship, or are single (ready or not to mingle), anyone can take this quiz. If you’re single, then this attachment style quiz can help you understand what attachment style you have and how it has been affecting your quest for love.
If you’re part of a couple, then this attachment style test can help you and your partner gain insight into how you relate to each other and how your relationship fares because of your attachment styles.
Or if you’re looking for a chance to know yourself better, then this quiz can be your rest stop to self-discovery. Knowing your attachment style can help you understand your emotions better and how you react to them in a romantic relationship.
Why Take Calm Sage’s Free Attachment Style Quiz?
Knowing your attachment style can give you an insight into your relationship and how you act, feel, and behave in one. It can help you understand your reactions and behaviors better when it comes to love.
Calm Sage understands the importance of privacy. Your responses are not shared with any third-party website, so you can rest assured of your privacy.
We also work diligently to provide you with instant results upon completing the test. The immediate result can help guide you to your next steps in seeking support and moving forward on the path of recovery.
Please note that this test is not an official test or professional assessment and can only offer insight into your relationship patterns. You should seek a mental health professional or a couples counselor for an in-depth diagnosis and review of your attachment styles.
Let’s Start!
You Have a Secure Attachment Style
There you have it! You have a secure attachment style which means you’re comfortable with intimacy and independence and tend to have healthy relationships. This attachment style is often considered the ideal attachment style. You can express your needs and boundaries well and trust your partner.
You can further improve your attachment style by:
Continuing to work on your self-awareness and emotional intelligence
Improving your communication skills
Providing support to your partner and friends with different attachment styles
Encouraging open communication and dialogue to address conflicts and issues in the relationship
You Have an Anxious Attachment Style
Your answers indicate that you might have an anxious attachment style. You often seek reassurance from others and constantly worry about your loved ones’ feelings. You might often seem preoccupied with the relationship and fear that your loved ones – friends, family, or partner – may abandon you at the drop of a hat.
You can work on your attachment styles by:
Developing healthy self-soothing techniques to manage your insecurities and anxiety
Communicating your needs and worries with your partner
Building self-esteem and self-worth so that you can think and act independently in your relationships
Seeking support and counseling from a professional to address any underlying issues, fears, and insecurities
You Have an Avoidant Attachment Style
So your answers indicate the presence of an avoidant attachment style. Well, this means that you value your independence and autonomy and need more emotional space in your relationships. You tend to avoid getting attached in your relationships and you value all the space you can get.
While there’s nothing wrong with having an avoidant attachment style, you can work on trusting others in your relationships by:
Being more open and vulnerable in your relationships – romantic, platonic, or familial
Slowly increasing emotional intimacy and becoming more aware of the walls you’ve erected around your heart
Learning to communicate your need for space with your partner
Seeking couples therapy or counseling to work on your emotional connection
You Have a Disorganized Attachment Style
There it is! Your results say that you might have a disorganized attachment style which means that you struggle with consistency and might feel conflicting emotions in your relationships. A disorganized attachment style can often be associated with past traumatic experiences or with having an unstable childhood.
Not to worry! You can work on improving your attachment issues and learn self-awareness skills by:
Seeking therapy or counseling to address past trauma or any unresolved issues from your childhood
Working on regulating your emotions and adopting healthy coping strategies to deal with conflicting emotions
Developing healthy boundaries in your relationships and working on your communication skills
Trying practices such as meditation or other exercises to help you manage your emotions and other issues you face in understanding your emotions in a relationship
