Does The Avoidant You’re Dating Love You? Here Are The Signs!
Love is such a beautiful emotion yet it is also complicated. Loving someone is a fulfilling experience but it comes with a dash of angst at times too. More so when it comes to people who have insecurities and insecure attachment issues such as an avoidant attachment style. If you have an avoidant attachment style or just simply avoid attachment, then expressing your love can be challenging.
An avoidant is someone who struggles with forming emotional intimacy and finds it difficult to open up to others, let alone form lasting attachments with emotional and mental connection. However, just because avoidants have a unique way of expressing their care doesn’t mean that they can’t or don’t fall in love.
So, if you’ve been dating an avoidant partner and if they’ve started to show their love in ways that make them feel vulnerable, then maybe you can help them by understanding and affirming their love.
Here are 13 signs an avoidant partner loves you and how you can reciprocate their love in ways that work for you and them.
Who is an Fearful Avoidant?
An avoidant is someone who has a specific attachment style that makes them guard themselves when it comes to emotional closeness and intimacy.
If you have an avoidant attachment style or a fearful attachment style, then you may have experienced past relationships where you didn’t feel safe in expressing your feelings or have experienced a past where a loved one – primarily a parent or a guardian – made you feel unsafe and insecure when it came to expressing your emotions.
Avoidants tend to value their independence and need personal space or “me time” often. They also prefer solitude to spending time with others. However, this does not mean that an avoidant partner can’t love deeply; it just means that they tend to express their feelings and love in ways that seem unique to them.
So, how can you tell if an avoidant loves you? Here are the signs you need to look out for when an avoidant loves you.
14 Signs an Fearful Avoidant Loves You
1. They Prioritize You
If you want to know if an avoidant loves you, then look for ways they prioritize you. One of the signs that an avoidant likes you is when they make sure you remain one of their priorities in life. They would rearrange their schedules or show up for you when you need them, even if they usually prefer their alone time.
2. They Engage in Subtle Physical Contact
While avoidants are not known for their cuddle powers, to know that they love you is to just take in their non-verbal cues and subtle physical contact. Your avoidant partner may hold your hands frequently, lightly put a hand on the small of your back, or hug you just to show their care and affection. That’s a sign they like you or even love you.
3. They Share Their Thoughts Openly
Another sign your avoidant partner loves you is that they will talk about their feelings and thoughts with you more openly. While it might not be a grand declaration of love you’re looking for, to an avoidant, this might be the biggest sign that they love you. An avoidant hesitates to share their feelings with just everyone so if they talk to you openly, without hiding anything, then take it as a sign of love that it is.
4. Their Actions Speak Louder Than Words
If you want to know whether your avoidant partner loves you, just understand their actions. They might not verbally declare their love for you but it’s always hidden in their actions. To an avoidant, actions do speak louder than words. So, watch out for that silent support and the little ways they make you feel special.
5. They Hold Meaningful Conversations
Avoidants do not like wasting their time and energy on meaningless small talk, so when you see your partner hold conversations with you and even share their dreams and fears with you, that’s when you’ll know that they love you. When they begin to hold meaningful conversations then it’s a sign that they are becoming emotionally attached to you.
6. They Remember Little Details
It might not matter to many of us, to remember every little detail about our partners, but to an avoidant that’s practically a neon sign that says, “I’m in love,” An avoidant partner in love will pay attention to little details about you and will remember your favorite things – from the book you like to the name of the first pet you had. This shows their involvement in your relationship.
7. They Ask for Your Opinion
When an avoidant loves you, they will value your opinion on their decisions and will seek your advice on things that they feel matter the most. It’s a sign that they trust you and respect your input and opinion. So, the next time your avoidant partner comes seeking your advice and opinion, take it as a sign of love that it is.
9. They Respond to Your Moods
An avoidant may not always be the most observant of emotions and moods at times, but when they are in love, they’ll notice your moods and will respond to them in kind. If you’re upset, then they’ll do everything in their power to understand you and comfort you, even if they struggle to understand the depth of the emotions themselves.
10. You Have Met Their Inner Circle
If you’ve met your avoidant partner’s inner circle aka the people, they are most comfortable and close to, then it’s a sign they are emotionally invested in you. Avoidants are private people so if you’ve met their inner circle, then it shows how much they trust you and want you to be a part of their life.
11. They Compromise on Things That Matter
An avoidant in love is more willing to compromise on things that matter to you, even if it means they have to step out of their comfort zone. It’s a show of love, affection, and trust they have in you that they compromise for you and your relationship. Don’t take this show of trust lightly!
12. They Talk About the Future
More often than not, an avoidant person will do everything to avoid emotional attachments so if your avoidant partner is talking about the future or making plans for the future of the relationship with you, then that means they are in for the long haul and are willing to commit to a long-term relationship.
13. They Acknowledge Their Mistakes
If your avoidant partner loves you, then they would be more than willing to acknowledge their mistakes, apologize, and work on the conflicts rather than avoiding the disagreements and setbacks as they might have done in the past. This is a sign that they love you and are willing to put in the work for the sake of the relationship.
14. They Accept Your Differences
Another sign that an avoidant loves you can be when they accept your differences and quirkiness. Avoidants spend a long time trying to avoid getting rejected, but the way they accept you and your eccentricities shows that they are willing to go further with the relationship and love you, even if it makes them fearful.
Ways to Reciprocate an Avoidant’s Love!
So, now that you know if your avoidant partner loves you, here are ways that you can reciprocate their love and make them feel accepted in return;
1. Respect Their Space
An avoidant is a very private person and loves their independence so it’s on you to try and understand their need for space and appreciate their alone time. If they want to be alone, then accept it and respect their choice.
2. Talk Openly With Them
If an avoidant is giving you their love by sharing their thoughts and feelings openly with you, then give them the same courtesy and be open, honest, and non-confrontational in your conversations. You can do this to make them feel safe in the relationship.
3. Be Patient With Them
Building trust and love in any relationship takes time, more so when it comes to an avoidant. So, without losing your patience, try to understand their needs and respect their choices as they slowly open up to you. That’s the best way you can show them that you love them back.
4. Don’t Let go of Emotional Support
If your avoidant partner can show emotional support when you need it, then you can also do them the same courtesy and show empathy and support when they share their fears, thoughts, and concerns with you.
5. Set Boundaries
In any relationship, boundaries are important, but in a relationship where one partner is an avoidant or has an avoidant attachment style, boundaries can be a silent way to ensure that they feel comfortable and that this relationship is a safe space for them and you as well.
6. Enjoy the Quality Time
Cherish the quality time you spend with your avoidant partner. An avoidant always fears criticism and rejection so to make sure they know how much they are loved; you can spend quality time with them doing things they enjoy and make positive memories.
7. Acknowledge Their Efforts
If you want to tell your avoidant partner that you love them back, then you can do it by acknowledging their efforts to express their love and affection. You need to ensure that they feel loved and cared for in return when they are making an effort to do the same with you.
Loving an avoidant can be a rewarding experience if you understand their attachment style and the ways they like showing their love and care for you. You can begin reciprocating their love by recognizing the signs of love and expressing your love for them in subtle ways. With the right understanding and acknowledgment, you can nurture a long-lasting relationship with an avoidant.
I hope this article helped you understand the signs an avoidant loves you and how to appreciate their love. To learn more about avoidant or fearful attachment styles, you can visit our website or share your views in the comments below.