What Is Emotional Intimacy? Tips To Build Emotional Intimacy

Last Update on January 21, 2022 : Published on January 22, 2022
Lacking emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is actually not as intimate as it may sound. Emotional intimacy is not only found among couples, it can be between any two people or a group of people. Emotional intimacy is all about feeling secure, safe and comfortable in the presence of the other.

We often talk about how great a bond we share with our partner, friend, parent, or even a coworker. Can you describe that bond to me please? I am sure that the first thing that came to your mind is how comfortably you can talk about anything at all with that person, right?

That trust and good communication is the very foundation of emotional intimacy. The problem arises when you share a relationship with someone and you both have no emotional intimacy between you two.

Well, no need to worry, I have a solution for that!

Shall we explore emotional intimacy before we get to solving our problem?

What Is Emotional Intimacy?

What Is Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy can be defined as an aspect of interpersonal relationship which involves intense closeness in terms of understanding, communication and trust. In simple words, emotional intimacy is the bond that is built on trust, a bond in which there is space for an open conversation as well as unspoken words.

Emotional intimacy is great for relationships but unfortunately most of us fail to let others come past the wall that we have created around us. Emotional intimacy basically is when you let someone enter the shell you have created to protect yourself. In fact both the parties allow each other to enter their shells.

Also Read: ‘I Need To Talk To Someone About My Problems’

Signs Of Emotional Intimacy

Signs Of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy, like I said before, is all about trust between two people. These days many groups of friends may unintentionally fake emotional intimacy among them only because that’s how a group of friends is expected to be, well knit with a close bond.

In fact I have a few friends with whom I do not share any kind of emotional intimacy, but we appear to be very, very close friends. You see, emotional intimacy is rare but when you have it the bond becomes very, very special.

Here are a few signs of emotional intimacy:

  • You share your darkest of secrets with them and they listen to you without any judgement
  • You can be honest with them about anything at all and they take it well (they won’t get angry at you for being honest)
  • You can trust them with you life and vise versa
  • You tell them what’s actually bothering you, even if it is morally incorrect
  • You are completely yourself in front of them, you’re not right or wrong in their eyes, you’re just you and again vice versa
  • You can have a meaningful conversation with them in true sense
  • You don’t need to prove your loyalty because the trust is very strong

How To Build Emotional Intimacy?

How To Build Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a very important aspect of a relationship. There are so many relationships who are struggling just because they lack emotional intimacy. Sadly most of us do not know how to build emotional intimacy in a relationship.

Well, you have come to the right place. If You have read so far, I’m sure you’re eager to know how one can build emotional intimacy on their own.

Here’s what you can do…

1. Learn to listen:

Listening is more important than talking in a conversation. When you listen carefully the other person feels valued. This is one way you can begin working on your connection. Once you start listening it will be very easy for you to understand what’s actually bothering them.

2. Learn to identify the emotions correctly:

We all face different kinds of emotions and unfortunately we do not have enough words to express each emotion that we experience. Let’s take the word ‘upset’, you can be ‘sad upset’, ‘angry upset’, ‘afraid upset’, ‘disappointed upset’, ‘hurt upset’, and so on.

3. Be open:

you will have to let go of your inhibitions so that they can do the same as well. Once you let them into your shell, they will find the courage to do the same as well. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone with them.

4. Make a safe space for you and for them:

for trust to stay strong and last long you need to create a safe space. Once both of you feel comfortably safe and secure only then can you build a strong trustworthy relationship.

5. Take it slow:

do not rush into creating a perfect relationship. Hurry, worry and curry are dangerous in all scenarios. Take one step at a time. Have that understanding first and then move to the next step.

6. Don’t let your ego win, apologise:

apologize when it is your fault. When both are at fault, apologise for your part of the fault. Don’t shy away from accepting your mistake. Being comfortably vulnerable with each other will build your emotional intimacy.

7. Agree to disagree & respect each other’s wishes:

each individual is different from the other and you are going to have differences in your thoughts. Learn to respect each other’s views and value their differences and opinions.

Final Thoughts…

Not everyone is blessed with an emotionally intimate relationship. But who says you can’t do it on your own?  Use these tips to build emotional intimacy in your relationship with your partner, friend, parent or whosoever you wish to have it with.

Emotional intimacy is good for your mental and physical wellbeing but that doesn’t mean you forcefully try to build an emotionally intimate relationship. Let both the parties feel the connection. You just have to foster emotional intimacy and not induce it forcefully.

I hope this blog helps you understand the meaning of emotional intimacy. Do comment and tell me are you going to try these tips on how to build emotional intimacy in a relationship? If yes, do tell me how well they work?

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe

About The Author

Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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