10 Signs You’re a Competitive Personality And What to Do If You Are One!

Last Update on February 9, 2024 : Published on February 10, 2024

I’ve met many people who love competing – no matter why or what they compete for. Competitiveness is a trait we all possess to varying degrees – whether it’s wanting to outrun someone in a race, come #1 in academics, or even winning trivial board games – it’s the desire to win that can make you feel competitive. It’s not a bad thing at all, to be competitive, but when your competitiveness begins to consume you, that’s when it becomes toxic. 

But, how do we know if someone is a competitive personality? Well, a competitive personality thrives on challenges, comparison, and ultimately, winning. These people have a strong desire to be the best, often taking every opportunity as a competition to be won.

And I get it; competitiveness can lead you towards success, but at the same time, it can lead to some negative outcomes too, if you don’t keep your competitive edge in check.

Now, if you’re wondering, “Why am I so competitive?” then let me help you answer this dilemma. Your competitiveness can stem from your childhood experiences, such as being raised in a competitive environment or having parents who gave affection based on winning competitions.

Personality traits such as ambition and perfectionism can also be guilty of fueling your competitiveness. And let’s not forget the role social pressure plays in shaping your competitive personality. 

So, are you a competitive personality? Let’s find out the answer with the signs listed below. Take a look and let us know in the comments at the end of the article whether you’re a competitive personality or not! 

Signs You’re a Competitive Personality 

1. You Don’t Like Losing 

One red flag that you’re too competitive is that you hate losing. Losing, to you, feels like a personal defeat rather than an opportunity to learn. For example, losing a game – even a simple one as UNO – ruins your mood for the rest of your day, and you find yourself dwelling on the game long after it’s over. 

2. You Constantly Compare Yourself 

Another sign you’re a competitive personality is that you’re always comparing yourself to others. Whether at work, in sports, or on social media, you measure your success and achievements with that of others. If a friend accomplishes something that you haven’t, then you feel almost compelled to outdo them. 

3. You Crave External Validation 

Sometimes, motivation comes from the inside, but to you, motivation comes from external validation. You work better when you receive praise, awards, or social recognition. You feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when others acknowledge your achievements. If you resonate with this, then take it as a sign that you are competitive. 

4. Your Goals Are Often Unrealistic 

Having ambitions is good, but when your ambitions and standards are too high – even for yourself – then it’s a sign of your competitive personality. These unrealistic expectations and ambitions hold you back from growing because when you can’t meet them, it makes you feel frustrated and burned out. 

5. You’re Focused on Winning

Another sign that you’re too competitive could be your intense focus on winning rather than enjoying the process. Winning is everything to you – so much that you’ll do whatever it takes to be at the top of your game, even if it comes at the cost of your relationships. This makes you lose focus on the process because you’re too focused on the outcome. 

6. You Get Irritable With Challenges 

When you are faced with setbacks and challenges along the way, you become irritable and impatient. Instead of taking challenges as a part of learning and growing, you take them as obstacles to your success. This is a big sign that you’re a competitive personality. 

7. You Become Resentful of Others’ Success 

When you see your friend or peer getting ahead in their lives, instead of feeling happy for them, you feel resentful. You also find yourself struggling to congratulate them on their success, and might even become bitter towards them and their success. Losing is not in your dictionary, and when others do what you couldn’t, it makes you feel resentful. 

8. You Secretly Compete With Others 

In your mind, you’re constantly running secret competitions with others, and winning them too! Now, having silent competitions is OK, but when these competitions make you doubt yourself and your capabilities, then it can cause feelings of adequacy. Instead of engaging in healthy competitions, you do the counterproductive and hurt yourself. 

9. You Enjoy High-Pressure Situations 

On the other hand, while others falter under high-pressure situations, you thrive in them. The adrenaline rush that you get from competitions fuels your performance, and you excel in your art when the stakes are high. If you resonate with this, then take it as a sign that you are a competitive personality. 

10. You Want to Be The Best 

My favorite affirmation is to repeat to myself, “I am the best,”. This helps me get going and become the best version of myself. But, when I talk about a competitive person, being the best is what they obsessively strive for. Whatever they do, it has to be the best; being average isn’t a choice for them. 

Competitive Much? Here’s What to Do!

1. It’s OK to Be Competitive:

Know that it’s OK to be competitive, as long as you don’t let competitiveness get in the way of your mental and social health. You can do so by setting realistic goals and self-expectations. 

2. Focus on Improving Yourself:

Instead of focusing on competing with others, try to focus on improving yourself. Try to become better than who you were yesterday, and measure your success based on your self-growth. 

3. Be Grateful:

Make sure you express gratitude for all the accomplishments and opportunities that you’ve been given. Acknowledging and expressing gratitude can help you appreciate how far you’ve come from when you started. 

4. Try Healthy Competition:

Competition is good when it helps you become better. So, try to channel your competitive spirit into productive activities such as sports, hobbies, and creative pursuits. Go for friendly competition rather than rivalry. 

5. It’s The Process That Matters:

Instead of focusing solely on the outcomes, try to focus on the process. Enjoy the learning you learn along the way. After all, it’s the journey that matters, not the destination. 

6. Be Happy in Others’ Successes:

You can also learn to share the joys of others’ successes instead of getting bitter about them. Allow yourself to take others’ success stories as inspiration rather than a threat. 

7. Balance it Out:

Most of all, balance is key. Strive to achieve a balance between work, relationships, and leisure. Don’t forget to take time for yourself and practice self-care to prevent symptoms of burnout. 

Being a competitive personality isn’t something inherently bad or good – it’s all about how you channel your competitive energy. Knowing the signs of a competitive personality can help you take proactive steps to convert the competitive edge into something more positive and productive. 

Strive to be the best, but not at the expense of your mental, emotional, and social health! 

I hope this blog helped you understand who is a competitive personality and what you can do if you are one. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. 

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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