Effective Strategies To Create A Secure Attachment

Last Update on October 26, 2023 : Published on June 26, 2021
Ways to create a secure attachment

In most of our blogs, we have discussed attachment styles and I observed that everyone is trying to determine human behavior which always leads to a question regarding the rise of “nature vs. nurture.”

Meanwhile, studies show that human behavior is a combination of both. When it comes to marriage, relationship, or parenting, nurture plays an important role because it tends to have a healthy and secure attachment that helps to long last a relationship especially in a marriage.

Indeed, an insecure attachment style is negative and leads us to the fear of abandonment. And sadly, it’s quite common these days.

In this article, I am going to tell you effective ways to create a secure attachment that helps you in recalling relationships and strengthening your relationships or bonds with others as well.

So, let’s get started.

Effective Ways to Create Secure Attachment

1. Try to build self-esteem

Try to build self-esteem

Self-forgiveness comes along with the creation of self-esteem. When you will let your thoughts free and will free yourself from the pain of the past, you will be able to work on yourself again. In order to keep your mental health intact, try to practice positive self-talk and try to build self-esteem in these ways:

1. Do not neglect yourself. And try to make yourself a priority by also practicing self-compassion. If you want to keep it better, do not neglect your personal needs and desires. Always remember that you don’t have to be perfect, it’s just you have to polish your personality.

2. In order to build great self-esteem, take a blank book and start writing three compliments for yourself each morning. This habit helps in providing positive attributes and works as an affirmation.

3. Try to find activities that fulfill If you enjoy photography, take out your camera, and click whatever you want. Do whatever makes you happy; just try to spend quality time with your hobbies.

2. Keep your focus on self-healing

Keep your focus on self-healing

Insecure attachments are due to childhood trauma or experiences that created self-esteem and guilt issues in your life. While living with this guilt can result in self-destructive behaviors or self-sabotaging.

In order to heal from the guilt and self-esteem issues, you will need to form a secure attachment with the help of healing strategies. If you are wondering how to self-forgive yourself and move on with a secure attachment style, don’t worry here are some ways that can help you with self-healing:

1. Try to evaluate your past decisions and do not reflect on them if they seem to be wrong.

2. Step into the light of self-forgiveness and be responsible for your actions. If you think you have done something wrong, start apologizing. It will help you in moving forward in life.

3. If you are comfortable, try to take the help of self-compassion exercises that will help you to make it through the healing procedure.

3. Acknowledge your issues

Acknowledge your issues

The most effective way to confront the negative aspects of your insecure attachment style is to start acknowledging it and to start your focus on moving forward.

By acknowledging, you will be able to build self-esteem, you are going to feel more confident and content about yourself and this will help you in forming healthy and secured relationships with others.

Do not remain silent and start acknowledging by speaking up what’s inside you so that you can start feeling better.

In order to acknowledge your needs and issues, you can try:

  • Reading self-compassion books or articles
  • Try to maintain close relationships with others.
  • Read resources related to different attachment styles and you can also watch ted-talks.

4. Seek professional help

Seek professional help

In addition to the above-mentioned strategies, therapy or counseling can help you in accelerating the healing process. Research shows that Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps us to bring a major difference when we really want to improve our relationships while dealing with insecure attachment issues.

You can easily get this therapy through online platforms. If you are considering online therapy, you can seek help from a counselor from BetterHelp. To connect with a professional counselor from BetterHelp, click here.

Additionally, if you are looking for YouTube Videos, you can check:

1. How to achieve secure attachment fast | Briana MacWilliam

2. How do you build a secure attachment style while being single? | Briana MacWilliam

3. How to spot a secure partner (Secure Attachment Style) | Personal Development School

4. Secure Attachment | Jacob Ham

I hope this blog helps you with effective ways to create a secure attachment. Comment down and share your thoughts on creating a secure attachment style. For more such content, connect with us on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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