“Why Do I Feel Unattractive?” | Reasons And How to Cope with Feeling Ugly
There are days when you don’t feel your best self and then there are days when you feel downright unattractive to yourself, even if not to others. Take it from someone who has experienced both sides of the coin; someone who has heard others tell her she isn’t attractive and someone who has felt unattractive and ugly on the best of days; it’s not easy to deal with these kinds of negative thoughts.
The idea of attractiveness started when society decided it was normal to use social media filters and makeup, and even physically alter your appearance to “fit” societal norms. This toxic culture created a cycle of negative self-image that you find every other person questioning, “Am I ugly?” or “Why do I feel so ugly?”
Giving into this toxicity inevitably has caused us to lose our self-confidence and encourage negative self-talk, even if it is for “motivation”. Because of this, we’ve become so fixated on our flaws that we have begun blaming ourselves for being unable to “belong” in society.
If you’ve ever thought or questioned yourself, “Why do I feel unattractive?” or “Why do I feel ugly?” then here are some common reasons for this thinking and ways you can improve your self-image.
Reasons You Feel Unattractive
Did you know that people with symmetrical facial features are more likely to be viewed and labeled as attractive? Research says that it is a beauty standard that makes us think or perceive ourselves as ugly or unattractive. It is believed that if one doesn’t fit these “beauty standards” then they are not attractive – even if it’s not true.
Not feeling like you belong can make you feel lonely and alone and because of this, we tend to blame our physical appearance. It makes us believe that if we look like others – who society deems attractive – it’d make us fit in or belong with others. What we fail to realize is that this ugly comparison often ends up hurting our mental health.
What you need to remember is that your appearance isn’t your sole feature nor that you’re ugly because others say so. This feeling unattractive is something we all experience from time to time but it isn’t the truth.
Here are some common reasons why you may feel ugly or unattractive;
1. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD):
Body dysmorphic disorder or BDD can be a major reason why you feel unattractive. This condition causes you to obsess over your appearance, majorly your flaws. This leads you to feel stressed about your body so much that you end up trying to hide these “ugly parts”. Often, BDD leads to symptoms such as skin-picking disorder and more.
2. Symptoms of Depression:
When you’re struggling with depression, it’s common to experience low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. These negative thoughts can also make you excessively obsessed with your self-image, making you feel ugly or unattractive.
3. Eating Disorders:
Another common reason why you feel unattractive and ugly could be the presence of eating disorders. Living with eating disorders can be challenging as they make you believe that your physical appearance is ugly, even if others say otherwise.
4. Gender Dysphoria (GD):
When you can’t feel in sync with your assigned sex and your gender identity, it can bring forth feelings that can be termed gender dysphoria. This condition can also make you feel unattractive because you feel constantly pressured by society and societal norms to observe certain expectations that you may not relate to from within.
If you’re experiencing any of the above-mentioned causes, then Calm Sage recommends that you speak to a mental health professional. A therapist can help with a proper diagnosis and recommend a proper treatment to help ease the symptoms.
How to Cope When You Feel Unattractive?
1. Learn Self-Compassion
Learning to practice self-compassion can help you become kinder to yourself. Self-compassion is about understanding and accepting who you are and being kind to yourself as you would be to others. Treat yourself as you would treat your loved one and remind yourself that you can’t say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to disrespect someone.
2. Practice Self-Love
Self-love is about showering yourself with the same love and care you would shower your loved ones with. This practice can help you feel better about yourself and slowly love who you are. You can try getting proper sleep at night, going out and enjoying life, doing things you love, and relaxing when you feel the need for it.
3. Appreciate Your Body
This practice goes hand in hand with self-love and care. When you don’t appreciate your body, you might never truly accept yourself. Try to focus on the positive things you can focus on your body. When you begin to do this, your self-esteem will improve and so will your life satisfaction. Try to appreciate and be grateful for what you have and this includes your physical appearance and body.
4. Boost Your Self-Confidence
You can start working on increasing your self-confidence by changing your wardrobe. Trust me when I say that changing how you dress can greatly improve your confidence in how you present yourself to the world. If not your wardrobe, then start by getting a new hairstyle. Simple steps, right? Once you make subtle changes to your features, you’ll see your self-confidence shoot high.
5. Live an Active Lifestyle
Feeling unattractive and ugly can also stem from how you’re living your life. If you are not living a healthy and active lifestyle, then you will keep thinking of yourself as unattractive. Try to live an active lifestyle. When you exercise regularly, eat well, and engage in activities you like, you will feel good about yourself and how you feel.
6. Accept Who You Are
Embracing your flaws instead of pointing them out and feeling negative about them can also help you feel better about yourself. Accept that you have flaws, I mean who doesn’t have a few quirks here and there, right?
These quirks are what make you, you. Accepting who you are can also work wonders for your self-confidence. Wear what you like – clothes, jewelry, accessories, etc. – as long as they help you embrace yourself.
7. Speak to a Professional
When things don’t seem to work and you keep feeling unattractive, insecure, ugly, and unwanted – speak to a therapist about it. These negative thoughts might not always have a source, but sometimes, they could be symptoms of an underlying disorder.
Seeking professional support can help you identify their source and ways to cope with them.
Feeling ugly and insecure or unattractive and unwanted can cause you to feel worthless and hopeless, even contributing to various mental health conditions such as poor self-esteem, negative body image, and low self-confidence. Your body is one aspect of your life, not the only one, so learn to appreciate it as it is and embrace all your flaws and quirks as a part of who you are.
If you still notice the prevalence of negative self-talk and image, then speak to a professional about it. I hope this article helped you answer the question, “Why do I feel unattractive?” or “Why do I feel so ugly?”. For more, you can reach out to us on social media or leave us a message at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Be well and stay safe!