Feeling Defeated By Life? 10 Ways To Regain Control And Overcome Defeat

Last Update on July 28, 2022 : Published on July 28, 2022
Feeling Defeated By Life

Ups and downs are a part of life but when the downs overpower the ups, then it can make us raise the white flag of surrender and accept our defeat. Life is unpredictable and it takes great joy in teaching us life lessons in the most dramatic way known to mankind.

Unfortunately for us, these life lessons can come our way in forms we least appreciate. In those moments, feeling defeated by life is not an unwelcome feeling. Being able to overcome the defeat and bounce back is a challenging task and a skill most hard-earned. Not impossible, however.

What most of us forget is giving ourselves recovery time. When we face a barrier and accept defeat, it can make us feel discouraged, and that’s it. We forget that it’s OK to face hurdles and that it’s OK to set aside recovery time, regroup, and start again.

Instead of this, we normally accept feeling defeated and depressed and leave it at that. When you feel defeated and overwhelmed, bouncing back to start again seems impossible. You need to realize that the defeats are short-lived only if you want them to. Winning is easy, all you need to do is understand what to do when you find yourself feeling defeated and depressed.

And that’s what I’ll be helping you with! Below, I’ve listed some of the best ways to regain your power and overcome defeat and discouragement.

Why Do You Feel Defeated By Life?

Feeling defeated means “having been beaten in a battle”. In our context, feeling defeated can mean being emotionally or mentally drained. Literally, it could mean facing rejection in a relationship or an interview.

Here are some potential reasons why you might be feeling defeated and discouraged in life:

1. You’re Overwhelmed

When you’re too overwhelmed by something, feeling defeated can be a common occurrence. Both of these feelings are emotionally affiliated and if you’re constantly on edge, then accepting defeat can seem like a good solution.

2. You Are Too Scared Of Failing

When you’re too scared of failing or losing, then you don’t try enough and when you don’t try too hard to fight, you believe accepting defeat is better than facing your failures. You might sit around, achieve nothing, and not face failure but this inaction will only increase the feelings of defeat.

3. You Feel Literally Defeated

Another reason why you are feeling defeated can be because of a literal defeat. You might think that it’s over. All your hard work has gone down the drain but what you don’t realize is that you’re still surviving. All you need to do is regroup and come back with a better strategy to win. As long as you keep trying, the chances of a win are still there.

What To Do When You Feel Defeated By Life?

Here are 10 ways to help you regain control of your life and overcome defeat:

1. Embrace Failures

You’re mentally and emotionally defeated and believe that your failures are it. There’s no need to try anymore. However, here you need to accept your failures as a part of your progress. Failures while vulnerable can teach us a lot.

But only when we embrace them as progress. So you hit a bump in the road but the journey isn’t finished yet. Only when you know what failure looks like will you be able to enjoy the success you’ll eventually achieve.

2. Change Your Perspective

Again, when you feel discouraged and defeated, it can be hard to stay optimistic. Often, your mind will want you to go down the negative spiral and think about all that’s been going wrong in your life.

While it can be challenging to keep a positive mindset, it can be relatively easy to reframe your thinking and change your perspective. Ever heard of the phrase, “Fake it till you make it”? Well, try it once and see what happens.

3. Let Go Of The Negativity

Your failures, over time, can make you feel resentment and anger towards yourself and your failed attempts. All this negativity can ultimately weigh you down and make it even harder to stay optimistic.

This negative mindset can also make you feel overwhelmed when you’re not. You can let go of the negativity by acknowledging your resentment. However, the key is to let go and not focus on the negativity much.

4. Work On A Gratitude List

A gratitude list can also be a good way to overcome defeat. This practice will help you feel grateful and remember that your one failure does not define your defeat. There’s a lot that you haven’t yet explored.

Gratitude can help you bring things into perspective and make you understand that while you failed this time, there’s a lot that you still have, and are grateful for. For this practice, you can use a gratitude journal, affirmation prompts, or even meditation.

5. Take A Break

When you’re trying too hard to not fail, you can forget to take breaks, and relax. The failure to do so can make you feel more overwhelmed as you keep going over your energy limits and do not do anything to restore them.

Taking a break when you feel defeated and depressed can help you improve your productivity, restore your energy, and keep your spirits up.

6. Try Meditation

Some of the most powerful and effective ways to fight defeat and take control of your life are meditation and mindfulness. Research shows that practicing meditation and mindfulness can help build resilience and relax when the body (and mind) are too tightly strung.

If you feel overwhelmed or defeated lately, then it can mean that you have too much on your plate. Relaxing with meditation and mindfulness can help you pause, think, and improve your situation.

7. Avoid Complaining

When nothing goes your way, it feels easy to complain about your situation, doesn’t it? Well, while complaining might help you release the tension temporarily, it’s not a permanent solution nor will it help you change your mindset. Complaining is a waste of time that could be better used on something productive. Instead of giving in to your complaints, try to find a fix, and don’t give up yet.

8. Focus On Your Interests

When you’re feeling defeated and depressed, you might not even enjoy doing the things you liked doing before. When this happens, instead of putting off your interests, focus on them more.

This doesn’t mean that you’re ignoring the rest of your hard work but instead, you’re choosing a different outlet to relax. Investing your time in your interests is a good outlet to help you overcome defeat and feel better about yourself.

9. Manage Your Emotions

When you’re too stressed, your body activates the flight-or-fight mode. Mix in the feelings of defeat and you can find yourself struggling with controlling a range of emotions. Here, releasing emotions is an important part.

If your body is asking you to fight, go boxing. If your body is asking you to flee, go on a run. The key is to not let your emotions and feelings fester but to release them in the best way you can.

10. Consult A Mentor

Or hire a coach. Either way a good way to overcome defeat and regain control of your life, you can consult a mentor, someone whose guidance you trust, or hire a life coach to help you get out of the rut you’re stuck in. Consulting a mentor or coach can help you improve your already existing skills and how you can get better.

Writer’s Thoughts

If you’re feeling defeated, depressed, discouraged, or overwhelmed, then there can be several factors contributing to it. Just remember that it’s OK to feel this way. All you need to do is give yourself some time to accept the feeling, regroup with yourself, and find a way to move forward.

Take a break and figure out how you can release the feelings. Can talk to a friend help? Is guidance from a mentor needed? Whatever the answer is, make sure you remember that this isn’t the end. It’s OK to feel sad over a failure but it’s not the end of the journey. Your destination isn’t here yet. Keep going.

I hope these ways help you regain control of your life and overcome defeat. For more, you can write to us at info@calmsage.com or DM us on social media.

You can also share your thoughts and tips with us in the comments section below.

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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