Overbearing Mother? Here’s A Sneak Peak Into Signs Of An Overbearing Mother & Ways To Deal

Last Update on September 9, 2022 : Published on August 16, 2022
How to deal with an overbearing mother

We all have had moments where our mothers just take control of our lives. Especially when we are sick or in times of grief, our mothers just take over because they just want us to relax. They step in so that we have time to take care of ourselves.

Now, imagine your mother stepping in even when you are doing completely fine. That’s what an overbearing mother does, she steps in all the time, tries to make decisions for you, and believes she knows what’s best for you even more than you know for yourself.

Having an overbearing mother can be really exhausting because you simply become a remote controlling human and the controls are obviously in your mother’s hands. It’s frustrating to be controlled, you’re unable to live your life the way you want to, you basically do only those things and engage in only those activities that your overbearing mother approves of.

Have you been dealing with an overbearing mother? Do you feel your life is being controlled by your mother? Here’s all you need to know about how to deal with an overbearing mother.

But first, let’s understand what an overbearing mother looks like…

What Is The Meaning Of An Overbearing Mother?

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An overbearing mother is someone who controls their children’s lives no matter what they are doing and how old they are. An overbearing mother always tries to make all decisions on your behalf. She literally controls everything that happens in your life.

When you are a child, it’s okay for your parents to make decisions for you. As you grow old, your parents can advise you on what should be done. When you are finally an adult, your parents stop interfering in your life as much as they did when you were a child because now you are an adult and know what the right thing to do is.

Effects Of Having An Overbearing Mother.

An overbearing mother oversteps even when you grow older. They don’t know when to stop, where to draw a line! An overbearing mother will continue controlling your life even when you are capable enough to take care of your life.

This can be really taxing for you as a child because an overbearing mother stops you from doing anything on your own. You’ll always have her hovering over you like a helicopter. Here is a list of some effects of having an overbearing mother;

  • Feelings of being out of control
  • Anger issues
  • Feelings of frustration and irritation
  • Become dependent
  • Lack of confidence to take responsibility
  • Have poor relationships
  • Experience anxiety
  • Always annoyed with the mother
  • Inability to make decisions on their own
  • Lack leadership skills
  • Low self-esteem

Also read: 11 Signs You Have An Emotionally Abusive Mother

Signs Of An Overbearing Mother

Sometimes you fail to recognize whether your mother is just being caring or is an overbearing mother. In fact, even for the mother, it’s difficult to know if they are overstepping or just being there to support their child.

To clear the confusion, let’s look at the signs of an overbearing mother;

1. She wants you to be your best friend:

an overbearing mother will always want to be a best friend to you. Now, it may sound good but as a part of being friends with you, she will demand to know all the information about what’s happening in your life.

2. She is a Know-It-All:

an overbearing mother seems to know everything, she will know what your problem is, why it is happening to you and how you need to address the problem at hand. And of course, she makes you believe that you need her help to solve all your problems as she also knows what’s best for you.

3. She expects you to help her just like she helps you:

it’s okay for moms to have problems and there is nothing wrong with kids helping them out. An overbearing mother might require your help with all sorts of problems she faces. She expects you to be as invested as she is in solving her problems.

4. She doesn’t respect your boundaries as an adult:

it’s difficult for all others to get their heads around the fact that their babies have outgrown their nest. For an overbearing mother, her child is never old enough to outgrow her nest.

She believes she must keep her child safe from all harm no matter how young or old their children are. Therefore, they end up making all decisions for their children.

5. She interferes in your life a lot:

an overbearing mother might always try to shamelessly interfere in her child’s life. She might not even spare you in case of your relationships. She will try to tell you who you should date and who is good for you to date, to say the least.

6. She ridicules your financial decisions:

if you have an overbearing mother, there are high chances you will have to explain your purchases to her and she is definitely going to tell you how bad of a choice you’ve made. She will have an opinion about your financial decision and will make those opinions evident and noticeable to you.

7. She will have an over-protective nature:

an overbearing mother will always try to be very, very protective of their child. They will go the extra mile to take care of their child even when a restful night of sleep can help. For example, an overbearing mother might think you’re dead if you don’t answer her calls.

8. She completely lacks empathy:

this is a very common trait of an overbearing mother, they are so preoccupied with thoughts of what all they need to do to make their children lead a perfect life that they completely neglect their children’s feelings and emotions.

Also Read: How to Be Empathetic: Top Ways To Be More Empathetic

How To Deal With An Overbearing Mother?

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Now that you know all about the effects of having an overbearing mother and the signs of an overbearing mother, it’s time to learn how to deal with an overbearing mother. Let’s quickly give that a look before we wrap!

1. Learn to communicate with your overbearing mother:

it’s very important to tell your overbearing mother exactly how you feel about her controlling behavior. Although telling her about your feelings might not stir the pot but it definitely will be the base for other things that you will do in order to come out of her control.

2. Set some effective boundaries:

it will be slightly difficult for you to convince your overbearing mother but if you are assertive enough she will comply with you. Make sure you set boundaries according to your needs and she follows them.

3. Have your own interests:

when you have been raised by an overbearing mother, it’s quite normal to not know what you really enjoy in life. Since your mother has been guiding you throughout your life, it’s time you explore your own self and cultivate your own interests and hobbies.

4. Engage in positive coping mechanisms:

now, it’s difficult to deal with an overbearing mother on a daily basis. You will experience a lot of overwhelming emotions and energy and you need to put the energy to proper use. Engage in coping mechanisms like physical exercises, breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, etc.

5. Seek professional help:

sometimes you’re so taken aback by how much of an influence your mother has on your life that you find yourself completely incapable of having a conversation with her or even setting boundaries for yourself.

That’s when you can turn to a mental health expert. They will not only help you deal with an overbearing mother but will also help you with all the negative effects of having an overbearing mother.

Free yourself from the negative impact of having an overbearing mother.

 

Get Matched with the Therapist Now

That’s All Folks!

I hope you found this blog informative and helpful. If you have been dealing with an overbearing mother for a long time, it’s time you take some effective steps and take the controls back in your hand.

Do remember to note all the signs of an overbearing mother so that you don’t confuse the controlling behavior with the concerned mother.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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