Understanding Sibling Grief? Here’s How To Deal With The Loss Of A Sibling
Dealing with grief is very, very difficult but having to bear the loss of a sibling is especially extremely difficult. It feels like you have lost a companion. A sibling is like a part of you and dealing with sibling grief is extremely painful.
Some of us are close to our siblings and some aren’t, ispite of the kind of relationship you share with them, a sibling loss is just so different. There is fear, there is grief, there is disbelief, there are so many emotions that hit us at that point of time.
In this article we will cover all about sibling grief and how you can deal with the loss of a sibling…
Shall we begin?
Why Does Sibling Grief Hit Differently?
The bond that you share with your sibling is very, very different from all other kinds of relationships. You didn’t choose to be together but the universe made that choice for you. You grew up together, troubling and supporting each other in every phase of your life.
You always share an extra relationship with your sibling. Other than being your sibling, they are also a friend, confidant, teacher, sometimes a parent as well. They are literally 50% of our memories and that’s what hits differently when you lose them.
They are the branches of the same tree. Sometimes it scares the hell out of you that if one branch can fall that other might soon have to face the same fate too.
Also read: Sibling Rivalry: What To Do When You Feel Hatred Towards Your Siblings
Is Sibling Grief Not Being Given The Importance It Needs?
Everyone deals with grief differently, that’s understood but sometimes we forget to give siblings the time to process their feelings. When someone loses a sibling, their patients lose a child. The focus completely shifts to the parents because of course losing is child is extremely painful.
All the friends and family members ask you to be strong for your parents. You are responsible for all the arrangements and taking care of all the people, attending them, and making them comfortable. In all this hustle you don’t find the time to peacefully grieve your loss.
Siblings are usually expected to support the grieving family members. It’s either the parents or children or spouse of your sibling whom you are supposed to support and take care of. Siblings also require time too. I hope we begin focusing on sibling grief too, will you?
Also read: Familial Love: What Is It, Why It Is Important, And More
How To Cope With Sibling Grief?
Losing a sibling hits you deep in the depth of your heart. An older person’s death is somehow expected but a sibling is a peer. You’re almost the same age, you’ve grown up together and lived a similar life. It’s just different.
Here are a few things you can do for yourself…
- Be compassionate: show some compassion for yourself. Being kind to yourself is all you need right now. Don’t beat yours;f up for the call you didn’t answer and the silly fight you had.
- Rest: you can’t do everything at once, sit down, take a deep breath and rest for some time. You need sleep and rest. The responsibilities you are shouldering will not go anywhere, so just relax and switch your brain off for some time (not literally).
- Express your feelings: skipping the feeling of grief is not the way to be. You have to acknowledge your pain and express your pain.
- Spend time with people who really matter: This is not the time to attend people. If they really care about your feelings they will understand. Be with you friends and family, they will give you the strength you need.
- Laugh if something’s funny: enjoy your life, laugh, be happy. Don’t be guilty or enjoy the little joys of life. I know you are grieving but who said you have to kill your inner self to do that?
- Do something that both of you enjoyed: make a ritual, plant a tree every year or donate to the needy or spend time in an orphanage/old age home. Go on a vacation to their favorite place, do weird things they would have done.
- Join a support group: listening to stories of people who have been through a similar pain will give you strength. Joining a support group is always a better option and you can always make new friends.
Losing a sibling is difficult. The bond is just so special and losing a sibling is life losing a part of you. You need the time to grieve your loss, you deserve it. Life’s falling apart? You will gather yourself back together, just give yourself some time.
I hope this blog helps you deal with the loss of your sibling. I may not know how it feels to lose a brother/sister, all I know is you deserve some time, rest and self-love. Do share this blog with people who are struggling with sibling grief.
Thanks for reading.
Take care, rest, and smile!
I don't know what to do with myself hurt is an understatement wanting to just be alone all the time and cry. Stay away from everyone and do not speak to anyone I hate everything that I feel inside I would trade places of I could im shattered beyond anything in this world this year has shown me the real meaning of pain. Missing my 1 & only hero I wil forever be destroyed. Nothing or no one will ever be able to fix THIS!
Hey Nique, I am so sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It is not easy to move on or look forward to anything when you lose a loved one, especially someone as close as a sibling. We, at Calm Sage, stand with you during this difficult time, and would like to suggest that you reach out to a grief counselor or a grief support group. More Power to You!