Conquering Self-Judgment in 7 Practical And Effective Ways!
In a life where comparison and external validation drives us, it’s more than easy to feel stuck in self-judgment. In this chaotic world, we constantly find ourselves criticizing ourselves – the actions we take, the way we dress, the abilities we possess, and more. This relentless pursuit of self-criticism can stop us from seeing our true selves and embracing our self-worth.
When we judge ourselves, it’s often a sign that we don’t like ourselves, not truly. The web of self-loathing and self-criticism that we weave ourselves can lead us to develop habits that can contribute to unhealthy self-esteem and self-talk.
With practice and patience, you can learn to conquer self-judgment, learn self-acceptance, and grow within yourself. In this blog, I’ve listed 7 such practices that can help you stop judging yourself and accept love into your life.
“Why Do I Judge Myself?”
Various reasons can make you judge yourself. Knowing these reasons and factors can help you figure out what to do and how to move forward from there. Common reasons you may engage in self-judgment can include;
- Comparisons: When you compare yourself to others, it can make you judge yourself negatively for things you haven’t achieved yet that others seem to have. This habit can lead you to think about how inadequate you are, so stop.
- Internal criticism: Over the phases of our lives, we receive comments and criticisms from people in our lives – friends, mentors, teachers, etc. – and these negative comments may be internalized, causing self-judgment later in life.
- Perfectionism: When you have high standards for yourself and if you fail to meet them, then it could also lead to self-judgment. This fosters a mindset where any simple mistake might be seen as a huge failure.
- Fear of Rejection: The fear of rejection can also breed self-judgment. This is where you anticipate criticism and judgment from others and automatically judge yourself before others have a chance to reject you.
- Low Self-Esteem: If you have low self-esteem, then it could also become why you judge yourself so harshly. You may have strong negative beliefs about yourself – your self-worth, abilities, appearance, and more – that can lead to self-criticism and negative behaviors.
The Negative Consequences of Self-Judgment
Self-judgment can have strong negative consequences on your overall well-being and growth. Some of the negative consequences of judging yourself can include;
- Poor self-esteem: Just like the cause of self-judgment can be low self-esteem, it can be an effect of it as well. When you judge yourself constantly, you develop poor self-esteem and self-worth where you criticize yourself and focus on your flaws instead of your strengths.
- Poor mental health: Self-judgment can also take a toll on your mental well-being as it can cause you undue stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. The constant self-judgment can increase negativity and cause feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and more.
- Inability to express yourself: When you constantly judge yourself, you become unable to express yourself – thoughts, feelings, and opinions – freely without fear. Self-judgment can ultimately prevent you from being yourself and embracing who you are, truly.
- Procrastination: Judging yourself can also result in procrastination and avoidance behaviors as we hesitate to take action that can bring us closer to our goals. The constant fear of failure can paralyze you to the extent that you procrastinate and hinder your growth.
- Poor relationships: Self-judgment can affect your relationship with yourself as well as your relationship with others. When you’re critical of yourself, then you may project that on others as well – unintentionally or not. This can also lead you to prevent building healthy connections with others as you struggle to open up to others.
- Decreased resilience: Judging yourself can also undermine your resilience and the ability to face challenges life throws at you. When you are too self-critical, then small setbacks can even feel debilitating and can create a negative self-perception.
How to Stop Judging Yourself?
1.Don’t be Too Hard on Yourself
We can’t be perfect all the time so when you fail or miss a step, then don’t be too hard on yourself. Whatever happens, tell yourself that you can’t change it and what happened is OK and you can fix it the next time. Just because you can’t fix your past mistakes does not mean that you can’t change what happens in the future. Go easy on yourself and make every moment of your today count.
2.Let go Of Things You Can’t Change
A lot of things are out of our control and we can’t change them no matter how much we want to. Resist holding on to the things you can’t change and let go of them instead. Allow yourself to relax and not bow under the pressure of being perfect all the time.
Another thing you can do to stop judging yourself is to practice self-acceptance. Instead of judging yourself for your uniqueness, think of them as a part of you – quirks and all. When you accept yourself as you are without criticizing yourself, then you can let go of the self-judgment trap.
4.Learn to Love Yourself
Love can triumph over all and it’s true! Even yourself. You can’t expect other people to treat you lovingly until you love yourself. It might be hard to shower yourself with love especially when you’re so used to self-judgment, but give it a try. You can try meditation, breathing exercises, self-care, and doing things you enjoy to practice self-love.
5.Challenge Negativity Bias
Out of our cognitive distortions, negativity bias is the one that holds our growth the most. When you’re too focused on negative thoughts and information, it can be hard to see otherwise. Try to challenge negative thoughts and develop a positive mindset. You can do it by practicing positive self-talk, positive affirmations, and more.
6.Be True To Yourself
When you’re too judgy about yourself, you can forget to embrace your true self. When you stay true to yourself, you can be less critical of yourself and more accepting instead. So, I urge you t be true to yourself to avoid judging yourself too harshly. Whatever happens, let it be and accept them as a part of your quirks and eccentricities. The more authentically you live, the less judgmental you’ll be.
7.Lastly, Keep Practicing
In the end, it all comes down to practice. When you are practicing letting go of self-judgment, don’t forget to keep practicing. Whenever you find yourself going back to your habits, be aware of them and change them using the above-mentioned practices. Ask yourself, what triggers this behavior, what makes you go back to self-judgment, and change those actions.
Self-judgment can be too negative for your health and well-being. Letting go of self-judgment can help you move forward in life and make progress toward your goals. Know that judging yourself only holds you back from living your true self. Practicing the above ways can help you stop judging yourself.
You deserve kindness, confidence, and happiness in your life!
Let me know what you think about this article in the comments below and what ways you can recommend to deal with self-judgment.