Are You Experiencing Mom Guilt? Here’s How To Deal With Mom guilt

Last Update on April 15, 2022 : Published on April 17, 2022
How-To-Deal-With-Mom-guilt

Are you a mom? If yes, you know exactly what I mean by ‘mom guilt’. For those who are not a mother, Mom Guilt is the guilt a mother feels when they are away from their child.

Usually a mother is assumed to be the primary caregiver of a child. What we often forget is that a mother apart from being a primary caregiver can also be the bread bearer of the family, or might have some other responsibilities to cater too.

Even though we have evolved as a society, mothers still feel bad or guilty for not being there for their child. Along with society even we need to accept and adapt to the fact that firstly, a child is the responsibility of both parents and secondly, it’s okay for you to have other things as important as your child.

I am not a mother yet but I’ve seen so many of my friends who are mothers who feel guilty even when they take time off for some ‘Me Time’.

Want to know more about a mother’s guilt?

Here you go;

What Is The Meaning Of Mom Guilt?

Mom-Guilt

My friend recently called me to rant about how bad of a mother she is. She said, “I see people teaching their children how  to paint, take them to parks, teach them table and etc manners and do what not for their children and here I am sitting on my laptop letting my son watch paw patrol all day!”

This is what mom guilt looks like. She is feeling guilty ispite of working hard to give her child the best life, cooking him meals, putting him to bed with bedtime stories, etc. In short, providing him a comfortable life.

A mother’s guilt basically means to feel guilty for not spending enough time with you children, not doing enough for them, making messed up decisions, etc and these feelings are pervasive, let me tell you . A mother (parent) always wants what is best for their children and in order to do that they need to take care of themselves too.

What Can Mom Guilt Lead To?

Mom-Guilt-Lead-To

I will begin with stating, there should not be any guilt of being a working mother, single mother, stay at home mother or any other type of mother.

 A Happy Mother = A Happy Child.

Having said that, many mothers and sometimes even fathers feel guilty of not doing enough for their children. A mother’s guilt can lead to the development of anxiety and depression issues, anger issues, loneliness, etc.

You are constantly beating yourself up for not being there for your child while catering to other important work and vice versa. You need to come to terms with the reality of life. Believe in yourself because you are doing the best you can for your child. Doesn’t matter if that’s less or more than what others may be doing.

Most mothers that I’ve met, at one point or another, have experienced mom’s guilt and to me it is a huge matter of concern because a mother’s guilt directly attacks your mental health. To curb mom’s guilt you need to learn how to overcome mother’s guilt.

To help you do just that, here are some suggestions that might work for you…

Ways To Deal With Mom Guilt

Ways To Deal With Mom Guilt

1. Know where that guilt is coming from. There are various sources of the mom’s guilt that you are experiencing. Some deal with massive insecurity issues, improving on the mistake perhaps your parents made, experiencing trauma in the past, etc. Begin with identifying the source of your guilt.

2. Keep a journal. Whenever the feelings of mom guilt strikes you, note it down in your journal. Later in the day you can write down what all you did during the day. Trust me, this will help you understand that you are already working too hard.

3. Set some ground rules. You have a rough idea of things that are off limits while raising your child. Set some rules like only 60 minutes of T.V. in a day, be in bed at 8 pm, no work related chores past your working hours, etc. set rules for you and your child.

4. Be with people you trust. Having a support system is essential. If you think people around you are pulling you down by throwing their know-it-all unsolicited advice, cut them off. Be with people who encourage you and help you grow.

5. Trust your instincts. A mother’s intuitions are , in most cases, absolutely correct. If you think your child is in pain, be with them. And if you feel like they are safe and happy you can let them be. It’s okay if they play with a pack of wipes as long as they are having fun.

6. Support other moms: you know how it feels to experience mother’s guilt, make sure you extend some support and love to your tribe. Just like you they need it too.

That’s All Folks!

A mother’s guilt is not a myth, many mothers ( and fathers) go through it. With this blog I want to tell each mother out there to believe in herself and not feel guilty for working for long hours or being a single parent, or taking some time off for self care or just doing things they want to.

It’s Okay!

I hope this blog helps you understand the depth of mom guilt and how to get over mother’s guilt. Do share this blog with all the mothers so that we can all support each other in those difficult times.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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