10 Relationship Hacks Unfurled By Couples Therapists

Last Update on May 18, 2021 : Published on October 5, 2020
hacks to learn from couple therapy

Conflict is natural in every relationship. Although we all want to navigate our relationships during hard times in our own way, couples therapy or relationship coaches can drop their wisdom in resolving issues. However, couple therapies sometimes are a bit pricey or some couples are not able to make time for it either. This is where relationships hack by licensed therapists come into the picture.

We have collated here some of the expert advice, straight from couple therapists so that your spark lights up once again, you resolve the problems together, and once again live a loving relationship.

Have you heard Vienna Pharaoh’s quote, saying

Behind every great relationship are difficult and uncomfortable conversations we rarely get to see. Great relationships do not just fall into our lap. They require people to move through their fears and insecurities and do the hard work to move wounds into healing.”?

Well, if you are ready to smooth down the tough trails, these hacks from couple therapy are meant for you.

Relationship Hacks From Couples Counselling

1. Remember Why You Were Together In First Place

Remember Why You Were Together In First Place

Is it because your partner understands you more than anyone else or someone who won’t judge you anyway? You know it better why you got together earlier. Now even if the situations have turned upside down in your lives, therapists always suggest keeping relationships fresh.

None of you can keep things novel and heart stealing forever but spicing up just like the times you were dating is the real deal. Go out for romantic dates, get intimate, express your love to each other and take up the spark responsibilities together.

2. Embrace The Uniqueness & Difference In Personalities

Embrace The Uniqueness & Difference In Personalities

Psychotherapist Karen R. Koenig says that some partners seem perplexed how they could end up with a spouse or partner who is so opposite from them. She explains the reason behind it too. Choices are the result of evolution whose purpose is to keep us alive and procreate. Moreover, a child has a probability of surviving and thriving when parents have complementary strength.

Instead of disliking the partner, embrace the opposite traits, value it and learn to power each other. After all, opposites attract for a reason.

3. Express Yourself! Do Not Expect Your Partner To Read Your Mind

Do Not Expect Your Partner To Read Your Mind

Many times, our partner starts expecting so many things that we are not even aware of. Regardless of how many years you have been together, you don’t know if they want to cuddle, go out for dinner or hang out with other people.

It is best to say out loudly and explicitly about your choices. For example, you don’t want to cook tonight and just want to chill on the couch. Be clear about it and enjoy some time together.

4. Avoid The Idea Of Assumptions

Whenever you assume what your partner is thinking about, there are chances that you are 100% wrong. It happens because of a communication gap, your partner starts assuming about what you are thinking at the moment, doing at the office or feeling. This assumption leads to negative steps by the partner which concludes into a fight or grudge.

5. Arguing Is Not Bad

Arguing Is Not Bad

Couple therapists explain that arguing is actually a good thing. If a partner is not expressing self, keeping things inside their head or brushing you aside, that is serious but speaking things out is a way to vent out. It’s fine to disagree or get angry to keep the conversation healthy.

But it is also necessary to keep emotions and actions controlled during the argument. The best life hack for relationships is to solve an issue rather than winning over each other.

6. When Upset, Take A Moment To Cool Off

It might surprise you a bit but when you are angry, avoid discussing anything. Take some time to relax and reassemble your thoughts or the situation will only grave. Only when you are able to dissipate your anger, get into the zone of short discussion so that the problem can be vanished. Many couples have benefitted from this relationship hack and tried controlling the situation from falling off the edge.

7. Make Some Financial Decisions In Advance

Make Some Financial Decisions In Advance

Every couple reading this blog knows that finances could create a number of problems in between them. It is always recommended to make few guidelines in advance so that you have financial security maintained as well as relationship free from strain.

For example, decide how much each of you will be saving to purchase a house or what will be the budget to travel around Europe. It is also good if you communicate with each other about any major investment or purchase.

8. What Is Your Relationship Constitution?

Oh no, there is no such thing as relationship constitution but it is your shared responsibilities and goals that you both want to pursue together. Your items in the list could be based on intimacy, career growth, money, family goals or discipline. Make sure that you fix the top 5 things together to keep yourself on the same page.

9. Growing & Changing Is A Good Process

Growing & Changing Is A Good Process

If you wish to stay like the day you dated forever, it is going to hinder your overall growth. Just like everything, relationships also change. As the time goes on, many ups and downs take place but together you become stronger. From here, you definitely cannot dive back but choose what and how things will be done ahead.

10. Be Mindful Around Each Other

Now mindfulness acts as a major player in between relationships too. Couple therapists say that many couples ignore each other when together and rather indulge in phones or other activities. If you really want the relationship to grow positively, spend time with mindfulness. Whether it is talking, watching movies, cuddling or walking, be with them. Whenever you want to do something else, communicate with them so that trust remains intact and your support just rises.

Signs you Need Couple Therapy

Happy Loving Couple

A happy relationship is not a myth, it’s just a compound of multiple relationship hacks that are drawn here by couple therapists. We believe that you would take a step ahead to make your relationship better with these tips. However, if you wish to go for couple therapy then drop us a message at info@calmsage.com for expert’s advice.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.


  1. Rashmi Kandhil
    Rashmi Kandhil

    Nice article, many people across the globe are facing relationship issues. I am sure that your article will definitely help those people who seek advice in relationship.

  2. Akanksha

    Very nicely written. Thanks for sharing

  3. Mridula

    Arguing is not bad if its under control and with all respect.

  4. Chris Smith
    Chris Smith

    Nice compilation but as per my experience, creating a Bible is easy but following it to the core is difficult.

  5. Aayushi Kapoor
    Aayushi Kapoor

    Can you please also explain about “mindful dating”?

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