7 Signs You Have Unhealthy Boundaries

Last Update on November 30, 2022 : Published on November 30, 2022

Have you ever felt like you are not living your life the way you wanted? Have your work, relationship, and responsibilities taken over your entire life? Sometimes we get so carried away by all the huge things in life that we completely avoid the little joys of life.

If you are in a similar phase of life right now, you may have unhealthy boundaries. By now, I think we have all spoken about how important boundaries are but we forget that maintaining those boundaries is not as simple.

Having unhealthy boundaries can disturb the equilibrium you might have created in your life. Having unhealthy or poor boundaries means that you do not have the mental strength and willpower to draw a line when needed.

Want to know how to recognize unhealthy boundaries? Well, we are here to help you with just that, here are 

7 signs you have unhealthy boundaries…


1.You adjust your life to suit a schedule

This is one of the early signs of having unhealthy boundaries that you can spot. When your boundaries are blurred, you fail to give time and importance to every aspect of your life. You adjust your routine in such a way that your complete focus is only on one thing. For example, if you are focused on work, all you do is work and have no time for friends and family.

2.You give in to anything that is not aligned with your values

When you have unhealthy boundaries it’s very easy for you to divert from your path. You can easily get convinced to do things that you might not approve of. Poor boundaries can make you ignore your value system and make you engage in activities that you might regret later in life. Therefore, if you’re doing things you don’t want to do just because someone asked you to do them, it’s a sign you have poor boundaries.

3.You settle for less than you know you need or desire

This is one of the prominent signs of unhealthy boundaries. When you lack boundaries or have poor boundaries you often settle for less than you deserve. You allow others the space to ripe you off the things that you need or deserve. The most important part of having boundaries is letting others know where the line is down. In poor boundaries, you fail to tell people where you wish to draw the line and that’s how you have people take undue advantage of you.

4.You stay in a relationship that you know is past its deadline

Poor boundaries are seen in people who continue working hard for things that have no space for improvement. For example, you continue giving your relationship a chance even when you know it has reached a dead end. Not just in romantic relationships, in your relationships at work, or with your friends and family, when there is no scope for something good, with poor boundaries you continue investing your time and emotions.


5.You let others exercise their control over you.

The inability to say NO is an obvious sign that you have poor boundaries. There is no point having boundaries when you can’t stop someone from exercising their control over you. You easily get played because the boundaries that you’ve set are unhealthy. They are doing you no good because these unhealthy boundaries are letting everyone into your personal space and exploiting you for their advantage.

6.You go back to things that you know are over

With poor boundaries, you can see a lack of acceptance and awareness.  You have set boundaries, not just for other people but for yourself too. Having unhealthy boundaries can make you stick to or go back to things that have not worked for you. Be it going back to failed relationships or a failed business attempt, with unhealthy boundaries you’re unable to see through clearly.

7.You engage in random things just to avoid being alone

Loneliness is something that needs to be dealt with properly otherwise it can manifest into serious mental and emotional health conditions. With unhealthy boundaries, your coping mechanisms are often faulty or maladaptive. You will jump into doing new things just because you feel alone or empty instead of processing this phase appropriately.

That’s All Folks!

I hope you found this blog about signs of unhealthy boundaries interesting, helpful, and thought-provoking. If you think you have unhealthy boundaries, it’s time you start fixing things. If you’re being carried away easily, know that you need some control and assertiveness in life. Do share this blog with your friends and family so that we all know the signs of unhealthy and poor boundaries.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati
Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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