8 Effective Tips To Change Your Self-Defeating Thoughts

Last Update on December 31, 2020 : Published on January 3, 2021
8 Effective Tips To Change Your Self-Defeating Thoughts

Our beliefs and thoughts related to our capabilities sometimes convert into self-defeating thoughts patterns which really needs to be identified and worked on. How to recognize if you have self-defeating thoughts? Just, simply observe how you feel and think about everything in your life.

If your answer is negative then you really need to work on your self-defeating thoughts before it begins to impact your mental health. This blog covers 8 effective tips to change your self-defeating thoughts. So, let’s get started.

8 Effective Tips To Change Your Self-Defeating Thoughts

1. Go Beyond Fear And Doubt

Go beyond fear and doubt

To begin with, you really need to cross-check your emotions. While having negative thoughts ask yourself, “Who would I be without this thought?” start thinking about this in a good aspect (without any expectations and grudges), and once you’re done imagining, you can start acting the way you thought.

2. Honesty Comes First

Honesty comes first

Do not hide your honesty behind your negative thinking pattern. It tells a lot about your personality and honesty should be transparent. Honesty should be expressed about what you’re perceiving and experiencing. Let your self-defeating thoughts go with the help of honesty.

Related Read: Honesty and Integrity: Road to success

3. Keep Doing Well Even If You’re Not Appreciated

Keep doing well even if you’re not appreciated

Human nature is to expect their good deeds to work like a catalyst. People believe that their actions should determine what they do (only for good deeds). However, it is completely not okay to expect your good deeds to cover up your self-defeating thoughts. The only way to overcome your self-defeating thoughts is to let commitments drive daily actions and to not expect responses for every desire and whim.

4. Change Your Outlook

Change your outlook

When you’re asked to do something new or uncomfortable, do not just directly reply “I can’t”. Take your time, think about what’s stopping you from achieving this task, and then reply. After exploring within, if your mind still says no, don’t do it but if your mind says “Maybe I can” definitely do it.

5. Stop Spotlighting Yourself

Stop spotlighting yourself

Do you know what nobody is thinking about you or paying attention to you like the way you do? I repeat nobody! Ask me how come I am so sure about it… the answer is so simple…because they all are busy spotlighting themselves! Therefore, stop spotlighting yourself and work on your self-defeating thought pattern.

6. Listen To Your Heart

Listen to your heart

Sometimes, it is better to listen to your heart instead of your mind. Your mind is the place where several negative and positive thoughts reside. However, your heart is the only place where love resides. Therefore, start listening to your heart. Additionally, happiness comes from inside hence, try to affirm yourself, start believing yourself, and radiate positive vibes!

7. Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself

While you’re on the road to overcoming self-defeating thoughts. Keep calm and enjoy the journey because you’re moving in the right direction. Also, stop thinking about those past mistakes and forgive yourself. Be proud of what you’re right now. Move on and be your own hero!

8. Figure Out Your Needs

Figure out your needs

Quick reminder, overcoming self-defeating thoughts is not an easy run. There are going to be so many thoughts that will lead you to think about your fundamentals. I completely understand that it feels bad to be in there. However, in those times, think about becoming a person you love or you’re proud of! Herein, figure out your needs, work on your thinking pattern, and then decide what you want to do.

How CBT helps to change self-defeating thoughts?

We all know that our thoughts are a part of our personality and Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is formed to change thoughts and beliefs impacting our mental health.

Additionally, if you’re not able to cope with self-defeating thoughts and low self-esteem, Check here and connect with a suitable Online Therapy Program.

I hope this blog helps you to change self-defeating thoughts. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading.

More power to you!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".


  1. Tina

    I'll apply these tips in my daily life and never get defeated in my life. Thankyou!

  2. CHTN

    Well, for starters, we can start checking these tips & tricks to keep ourselves ahead in the game

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