What Is The Sense of self? How To Develop It?

Last Update on January 25, 2023 : Published on January 25, 2023

We often talk about knowing ourselves but how much do you know yourself? My thoughts often revolve around one question, “ Who Am I?” I’m sure many of you are still exploring yourself and trying to understand yourself better.

Sense of self is all about knowing yourself, knowing your characteristics and traits. A sense of self is being able to define yourself most appropriately. Self-awareness is a part sense of self, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and how and when to use them.

Sense of self encircles all the aspects of your personality. Be it your thoughts, perceptions, values, dislikes, abilities, motivations, and much more. Do you know all these things about yourself? I think it takes a lot of time and effort to get a complete sense of self.

However, you can continue building your sense of self and perhaps one day you’ll reach there. Today we are going to get to know what a sense of self is and how one can develop it…

Shall we begin?

 What Is A Sense Of Self In Psychology?


If someone asks you, how well do you know yourself? What’s your answer going to be? You know yourself but there are very few people who know themselves well enough. We do not spend enough time consciously thinking about ourselves.

A sense of self is knowing yourself and your characteristics like your personality traits, likes-dislikes, value system, moral code, etc. All the things that contribute to forming your identity and uniqueness.

If you can describe each of these factors that form your personality correctly, you have a strong sense of self. Simply put, being able to describe yourself and your attributes and define your traits is having a good sense of self.

Signs You Have A Poor Sense Of Self

We all have some sense of self; it can range from strong to weak depending on how well you know yourself. When you have a strong sense of self, it’s very easy for your to define yourself and know what you want in life.

However, many of us fail to strengthen our sense of self and sadly aren’t even aware of our poor sense of self. Today, let’s look at some warning signs of a poor sense of self. These signs will help you understand where on the spectrum you stand and the direction you need to move from now on.

Here are some signs you have a poor sense of self;

  • Easily lose your identity in a relationship
  • Tend to depend on others
  • Fail at having strong boundaries
  • Difficulty in managing time and energy effectively
  • Aimlessness
  • Succumb to peer pressure easily
  • Experience an overload of empathy
  • Feel lost in life
  • Low self-esteem
  • Live other’s definition of happiness
  • Feel empty from within

How To Build A Strong Sense Of Self?


Now that you know what having a poor sense of self looks like, I’m sure you know where you stand. If you have a poor sense of self, you need not worry. You’re not alone, my friend! There are only a few people who have a strong sense of self, the rest are all like you and me.

However, who said you cannot work on it? Fortunately, a sense of self is something that we all have built on and strengthened. It’s never too late, let’s start today…

Here’s what you can do to build a strong sense of self;

  • Define your likes and dislikes: every day you have an opportunity to explore your likes and dislikes. All you need to do is keep a track of things, situations, behaviors, etc. that make you cringe. Along with these also keep a note of everything that makes you happy.
  • Set strong boundaries: learn to say “NO” and create strong boundaries for yourself and the people around you. Be assertive and let others know when and where to draw the line with you.
  • Take out time for yourself: I know it’s a busy life and you need to maintain your pace but taking out some time for yourself is not going to harm you. Spend some time with yourself and focus on your inner self.
  • Define success and happiness for yourself: it’s time you stop living someone else’s dream. Sit down and think about what makes you happy, what’s your idea of a happy life? Work for it! Know what success means to you and cherish every moment of success and happiness you experience.
  • Explore your personality and passion: it’s important to know your personality, you can read books on different personality types or take personality tests. Take time to explore your personality and things that you’re passionate about.

Thanks To All Folks!

I hope you found this blog about a sense of self and how one can build a sense of self helpful, informative, and thought-provoking. Do share this blog with your friends and family because you never know who is struggling to define their sense of self.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati
Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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