Actions Speak Louder: How to Use Acts of Service to Improve Relationships

Last Update on February 27, 2024 : Published on February 28, 2024
Acts of Service to Improve Relationships

Ah! Love. What a tangled web it is, isn’t it? Like an exciting new adventure, each relationship is a maze filled with twists and turns, where love becomes a puzzle to solve. Sadly, not everyone is adept at reading or speaking the language of love. Here come love languages!

This secret code of love enters the stage as a savior and helps you read between the lines to deepen the connection you have with your partner or spouse. Fascinating, isn’t it? Love language becomes something like a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, where the tides are not always in your favor.

Today, we’re exploring one such love language – Acts of Service. But before I get into the nitty-gritty details of acts of service love language, let’s pause for a moment to see where these love languages came from.

The idea of love languages was popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman in, “The Five Love Languages. According to Dr. Chapman, we all have a primary love language through which we prefer to give and receive love from our partners or spouses.

These five love languages include;

  • Acts of Service
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts, and
  • Physical Touch

It is believed that knowing your love language and your partner’s can help you work on your relationship and deepen the connection you share. So, are you ready to dive into the acts of service as a love language?

Acts of Service as a Love Language

Acts of service as a love language are all about expressing your love through your actions rather than words. After all, actions speak louder than words, right? Well, in this case, this might be true! Acts of service love language involve doing things for your partner or spouse that you know they would appreciate, easing their burdens, and making their lives a little easier and more enjoyable.

This could include anything – from cooking their favorite comfort meal to picking up dry cleaning or helping with the dishes to raking the garden.

If you feel that acts of service are your main love language, then you might feel most loved and appreciated when your loved one goes out of their way to do little things for you.

Some common signs that acts of service might be your love language can be;

  • You feel appreciated and loved when your loved one helps you without being asked
  • You prioritize doing things for your loved one to show your appreciation
  • You feel disappointed or hurt when your loved one fails to help you when you need it
  • You show and express your love with actions and rarely with words

Acts of Service as a Receiving Love Language

Acts of service become a receiving love language when it’s you who likes when your partner helps you out and shows their appreciation with their actions, rather than you doing the same for them. If this love language is your receiving love language, then here’s how you can incorporate it into your relationship to make it better;

  • Communication is Key

Share with your partner how important it is for you to be shown appreciation through actions. Let them know that acts of service as a love language is important to you so that they can understand how to express their love effectively.

  • Appreciate the Efforts

If your partner shows you with their actions how much you mean to them, then be sure to acknowledge their efforts and appreciate the things they do for you. It doesn’t matter how small the act is, just let them know that their efforts are seen and appreciated.

  • Reciprocate the Best You Can

While acts of service is your love language, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’d be the same for your partner as well. Your partner might likely have a different primary love language. Even then, make sure you show them love through your actions as well to deepen the bond you share.

  • Be Specific, Not Vague

Let your partner know what acts of service mean to you. Say, for example, you might want your partner to help around the house a little more, so let them know how they can do it. Don’t leave it at, “I wish you’d help out more.” Be specific and tell them what kind of service you’re hoping for from them. For example, running errands, doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, or just lending an ear to listen.

  • Be Grateful

Most of all, take the time to thank your partner for their acts of service. Feeling appreciated can encourage them to continue with their acts of service and random acts of kindness. It’s good to show your gratitude for your loved one when they do something to alleviate your burden, even for a little while or in simple ways.

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Acts of Service as a Giving Love Language

If you can’t resonate with acts of service as a love language, but your partner can, then that means it’s a giving love language. Knowing and catering to your partner’s love language can be good for your relationship. If acts of service isn’t your love language but your partner’s, then here are some ways you can support your partner;

  • Pay Attention to Them

Try to observe your partner when they do little things for you and express gratitude for their efforts. Even then, communicate with your partner and ask them which acts of service they value the most. Talking about the areas where they could use some help can help you improve the bond between you two.

  • Be Proactive

Anticipate your partner’s needs and show up for them whenever you can. Whether it’s preparing their favorite meal at the end of the day or surprising them with a romantic but simple lunch date – your thoughtfulness and kindness can make their day and improve their mood. Plus, it can make them feel appreciated at the same time.

  • Show Your Appreciation

Whenever your partner does something for you, no matter how small, make sure you show your gratitude and appreciation for their efforts. Feeling valued for their efforts can encourage them to continue sharing their love through acts of service. You can also take some time to see what makes them feel comfortable and show your love with their love language.

  • Support Them

Whether it’s about helping them with a DIY project or supporting their career endeavors, you can actively participate in their life. This simple act of being there for them shows that you care and are willing to put in time and effort to make them happy, even if you don’t share the same love language.

  • Stay Committed

Most of all, try to be consistent and stay committed to your acts of service. To speak your partner’s love language, you can add acts of service to your daily routine, making it a habit. This will reinforce your commitment to meeting your partner’s needs and show your love to them in a way that resonates with them.

20 Examples of Acts of Service as a Love Language

Acts of service as a love language can take different forms. It all depends on your partner’s needs. In any case, here are some common examples of acts of service you can incorporate into your daily life to appreciate your partner’s love language a little more;

  1. Cooking their favorite comfort meal
  2. Doing the dishes without being asked
  3. Taking care of laundry or cleaning; basic household chores
  4. Running errands for your partner
  5. Picking up groceries on your way home
  6. Making coffee or tea, even breakfast, for them in the morning
  7. Massaging your partner after a tiring day
  8. Doing things for your partner they dislike, like making appointments
  9. Planning a date night or lunch for them
  10. Helping them declutter or organize their space
  11. Leaving a thoughtful message for your partner to find
  12. Taking responsibility for paying bills or managing finances
  13. Offering to pet sit for them or taking responsibility for their pets such as feeding, grooming, or walking them
  14. Planning special events or outings for your partner
  15. Offering emotional support and listening to them when they are stressed or going through something difficult
  16. Assisting them as they get ready for an important event by styling their hair, painting their nails, tying their tie, etc.
  17. Offering to come along to their appointments for moral or emotional support
  18. Reminding them about their important tasks
  19. Calling them when they are feeling sad and asking about their health
  20. Playing their favorite music in the house or in the car to make them smile

Wrap Up…

Adding simple acts of service in your relationship can improve your connection with your partner and foster a stronger sense of appreciation and love. Whether acts of service is your receiving or giving love language, understanding the love language can lead to a happier relationship. So, why not start showing your love through your actions a bit more?

I hope this article helped you understand what acts of service love language are, how they work, and how to use it to improve your relationship. Let me know what your love language is and how you show your love to your partner in the comments box below.

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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