4 Best Ways To Heal From Counter Dependency | Time To Connect With Others
For a long time, we have been listening to the one pole of dependency, that is, codependency. You might have also come across different blogs that discuss the ways to deal with it.
But did you know there is a flipside of codependency that too needs to be addressed? Yes, there is another extreme pole of dependency which isn’t healthy either. The pole or the flipside that we are referring to is known as counter-dependency. That is, You!
A counter-dependent person faces challenges in maintaining healthy relationships as they find it difficult to confide in others. Thus, increasing the chances of poor interpersonal relationships. This is not it! There are a bunch of reasons why counter dependency is considered unhealthy.
Reasons Why Counter-dependency is Unhealthy
- The relationships are short-lived and unhappy ones.
- It involves keeping oneself overly busy.
- The high tendency of complaining about everything (anything).
- Feelings of loneliness never leave the way.
- At the risk of getting anxiety attacks.
- Unable to take criticism healthily.
- Trouble forming intimate relationships.
- And more!
Looking at this list one thing is clear that an individual needs to learn the ways to deal with counter-dependency. To help you achieve it, we are sharing 4 effective ways to heal from counter-dependency with you.
Healthy Ways To Heal From Counter Dependency
1. Confront Your Fears
The first step towards healing from counter-dependency is to confront your fears. You might be wondering what fear a counter-dependent person could have. Let me remind you, counter-dependency is also referred to as “fear of intimacy.”
Robert Anther has beautifully said, “We fear the thing we want the most.” Every time I try to dig deep and understand counter-dependency this quote auto-play in my head. A counter-dependent person avoids forming a close and intimate relationship at a conscious level but at a deeper level, we are craving to form nurturing relationships.
The fears hold us back but the past wants love and attention. So, confront your fears and throw away that “pseudo-independent” mask. Start questioning the thinking that holds you back from interacting with others, and take that first step towards connecting with others. You will soon find yourself developing the ability to trust others.
2. Work on Developing A Positive Attitude
You might be relating your current relationship problems with your negative childhood experiences. This indeed needs to be detoxed for you to mark a fresh beginning and nourish healthy relationships with others.
Thus, it is recommended that you start building a positive attitude in your life to nudge away the negative aspects of any relationship. The best part is that you can learn to build a positive attitude at any point in your life to see the positive changes and heal from counter-dependency. You can check our guide on developing a positive attitude in your life. It is sure to help you!
3. Take A Step to Connect with People
Ok, wait! This one here is the best way to deal with counter dependency. Isn’t it? Just start connecting with others and establish healthy dependency. Yes, it is obvious because it is the best antidote.
But don’t worry we aren’t just giving you wordy information here we are also suggesting you a doable action plan that will heal you from counter dependency and you will be able to connect with others. So the trick here is to practice successive approximations.
Tillman explains it is all about taking that one step in the direction you want to go and then further rewarding yourself for getting that far.
4. Opt For Therapeutic Help
If you find the above-mentioned methods of healing from counter-dependency overwhelming or if you are looking to eradicate it from the deeper roots then opting for professional help is recommended. Through therapy, you can dig down the issues that are currently reflecting in your life in the form of counter-dependency.
Plus, you will be learning specific coping skills that will aid in unlearning defense mechanisms and ending toxic patterns, and appreciating the value of having others in your life. During this process just remember one thing that changes take time so give it some time and you will see yourself healing from counter-dependency tendencies.
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Before you start your healing journey of dealing with counter-dependency, remember that the transition can be a long and slow journey. Plus, as you will be touching on your vulnerabilities it gets a little overwhelming as well. But ultimately, this step is going to help you form healthy relationships which are the key to a fully satisfying life.
If you know a person who shows signs of being counter-dependent, share this content with them. Do you have any self-tried way of healing from counter-dependency?
Share it with us in the comments section. It might help someone.
Thanks for reading.
Love and Light.