Deception: Major Reason Behind An Unhealthy or Unsuccessful Relationship

Last Update on June 21, 2023 : Published on June 21, 2023
Major Reason Behind An Unhealthy or Unsuccessful Relationship

It’s quite clear that deception in a relationship is destroying! Deception in a relationship is such an unhealthy thing that makes the relationship unstable. When a partner lies destructively or excessively in a relationship, it cannot be easy to detect sometimes because lying or dishonesty can come in the form of body language, behaviors, and other cues.

A little bit of lying or lying out of some consideration may help in protecting the relationship but the relationship may become toxic, unhealthy, or ineffective at some point. What is deception in a relationship exactly?

Deception in a relationship means constant lying or dishonesty with the partner. Such behaviors may revolve around half-telling the truth or situation, making vague statements, suppressing important information, or lying. In this blog, let’s find out the signs of deception in a relationship and how to confront dishonesty in a relationship.

10 Common Signs of Deception in a Relationship

Deception in a relationship can be a shocking thing for us, we never expect it to come our way. Without even knowing about certain things, we learn about our suspicions. Signs of deception in a relationship can be a complex thing because sometimes we end up misunderstanding the behaviors.

Detecting a liar or lie is not always easy, as it could be related to various signs or hints at a time. Below listed are the 10 common signs of deception in a relationship that shows someone is withholding some important information:

1.Avoiding eye contact

When someone lies to you intentionally or unintentionally, they keep on avoiding eye contact with you so that they can prove their point in front of you.

2.Provides limited information

One point we are very sure about deception in a relationship is that when someone lies excessively or destructively, they provide us with the limited information that we need to know to digest, they will never provide the information that is harsh or unacceptable to us.

3.Contradictory body language

Body language can be your ultimate tool to test or see if your partner is lying to you or not. If they are lying, you will find unconsciousness or lack of calmness in their body movements. They might be trying to prove their point verbally, but their body will not allow them to do so.

4.Constant denial of accusations or inconsistencies

For instance, if you come up with a fact or confront them, you will always find a constant denial. They will never agree with your point because they have already made something in their mind and now they’re synced to it. They will never accept the inconsistencies you’ve noticed so far in them.

5.Certain expressions

There will always be certain expressions such as rubbing brow, slouching, rigidity, or fidgeting that show they are thinking about the points again and again in their mind.

6.Saying “no”

One important sign to notice in them is that they are going to say “no” several times even when it’s not needed. In order to prove their point, they will try to stop you from reaching a conclusion.

7.Arrogant behavior

Arrogant behavior is one of the important signs to notice deception in a relationship. Their irrelevant arrogance, attitude, or expression towards the topic or certain point will help you move to the withholding information.

8.Stalling the conversation

The other most important sign of deception in a relationship is that they will try to hold the conversation so that they can prove their point and withhold the wanted information.

9.Unusual reasoning

Even if you come up with a point or fact, they will deny it and provide unusual reasoning because they don’t want you to touch the truth.

10.Unwilling to remain on the facts

Since they will always proceed to provide unusual reasoning, it might also happen that they will not even remain on the same facts tomorrow or in the future.

Important: In all such situations, it’s quite possible to find a distraction, nervousness, or lack of eye contact. However, relying on the above-listed signs can never be a solution or conclusion for anything. The above-listed signs can be mislabelling or misreading in your situation. Hence, read the next sections and let the facts and points decide for you according to the situation.

Causes of Deception in a Relationship

Now, you might be questioning, why someone lies in the relationship or what can be the reason behind constant lying. Let us uncover some common reasons behind deception in a relationship:

  • Maybe they are trying to avoid some conflicts
  • Maybe they are hiding some embarrassment, shame, or consequences of their own behavior
  • Maybe they have a fear of losing or getting rejected by you
  • Maybe they are hiding something they did not do or did
  • Maybe they want to gain power or control over the situation
  • Maybe they want to make themselves look successful, special, good, or talented
  • Maybe they want to bring some changes in their lifestyle that you dislike
  • Maybe they are trying to protect their or someone else’s feelings

Consequences of Deception in a Relationship

Now that we understood the causes, it’s time to take a look at the possible consequences related to deception in a relationship:

  • Reduced trust
  • Reduced empathy or compassion
  • Reduced intimacy
  • Conversion of a healthy relationship to a negative one

Making the Right Decision: To Confront, To Respond, or To Leave?

Now that we have understood the signs, causes, and consequences of deception in a relationship, it’s time to make the right decision (to confront, respond, or leave). Psychologists believe that it is always a better idea to opt for honesty in such situations.

For example, suppose, you find your partner constantly lying to you because of the fear of rejection or losing you, you might want to confront them and clarify your bond towards them so that they can trust you and come up to you in a truthful way.

In such situations, you can also try to respond to them positively so that they can understand the affection between you two. However, if they are constantly lying to gain power in such situations, you might want to respond to them to set clear boundaries in your relationship.

In some situations, a question may arise, “Should you forgive your partner?” Well, to forgive or to not forgive is your personal choice, you may want to reflect on the patterns of behavior in the past as well so that you can evaluate the cause and decision. Similarly, only you can decide if you want to accept and move on.

In cases of infidelity, it is quite difficult to forgive your partner. However, holding a grudge against them can never be an option because it is important to communicate your hurt.

If you’re struggling to make the right decision, you can always connect with a marriage or couples counselor to decide the terms and boundaries of your relationship.

Quick Tips to Deal with Deception in a Relationship

If you’re planning to deal or confront with a lying partner, you can the below-listed quick tips:

  • Be clear with your facts and have faith in your instincts.
  • For the future, set healthy and clear boundaries to protect yourself from deception in a relationship
  • Take a mindful pause, acknowledge your feelings, communicate with your partner, and be a good listener so that you can understand the other side as well.
  • Avoid confusion, ask direct questions, and communicate your feelings directly to avoid conflicts.
  • In cases of boundaries, confusion, and working out, connect with a couples counselor.


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I hope this blog helps you understand the signs of deception in a relationship and how to confront a liar. Comment down and share your views on responding to a liar in a relationship.

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Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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