Had An Argument? Find How To Calm Down After An Argument & Make Up

Last Update on May 7, 2021 : Published on May 8, 2021
How to calm down after an argument

Life throws a number of challenges at you. It doesn’t always go as we plan, rather make us vulnerable in many places. Relationships are one such place where we want to keep everything perfect and emotionally vibrant but again, there are frustrations, anger and arguments within the safe haven too. Although arguments are good to clear up many problems, it is also important to know how to calm down after an argument.

During an argument, it is difficult to keep a balance between mind and body and properly communicate the essence of discussion. It is also important to understand the desires and concerns of other people during an argument and even the message does not rule out when shouting and crying are happening.

So how to stay calm during arguments and get easy after the argument is over? Find it out here!

How To Calm Down After An Argument?

1. Taking Deep Breaths

Pause! Take a deep breath! Close your eyes as this pause will break the tension between the argument and give some space to each other to re-process the thoughts. Take it easy and indulge in deep breathing exercises, relax the tightened muscles, lower cortisol levels and come back to the senses.

2. Don’t Refrain From Apologising

Yes, you might not be expecting this tip right now but let’s face it. Apologising can instantly break the cycle of fights and arguments and bring the solution upfront. However, the next challenge is to pick up the reason why the fight started and solve the problem, instead of sweeping the whole situation under the rug. Avoid using ‘You did that’, ‘I didn’t do it’ or ‘if you hadn’t done that’ while you are resolving the problem.

3. Visualize A Happy Place

Visualize A Happy Place

Various studies have shown that visualization can help in cutting down the anxiety and overwhelming attitude. It might be tough to visualize something else in between the argument  but closing your eyes and seeing a place which gives peace is a great way to calm down after or during an argument. This place could be beaches, waterbodies, or lush green jungle, pick your peace and relax for a bit.

4. What’s The Moral Of The Argument?

Although you like to solve problems every time they come up, you also need to learn something about what this argument taught you. In fact, a common discussion between you and your partner could be set up over a hot cup of tea which not only have calming effects on both of you but also have extra time to help each other learn from circumstances.

5. Talk To Someone Else, If Required

There are disagreements in every relationship but this relationship has just one perspective for now. However, if you speak to someone else, like a friend, neighbor or close relative about the argument, you get to see another perspective and opinion which can relatively make things easier to move past the arguments.

What You Don’t Want To Do After An Argument?

In order to keep the relationship maintained, you have to also make sure of the things that shall not take place for better or worse.

  • Don’t pretend that the fight never happened and skip apologies. It’s not like you wake up the next day and forget everything without learning the lessons.
  • Don’t continue punishing the other person by giving them silent treatment or rubbing passive-aggressive behavior.
  • Don’t keep awkwardness and anxiety in between the fights after an argument as it just kills the whole environment in the longer run.

Making Up After An Argument

  • Give your partner a hug or touch them nicely as physical contact can remind that love is higher than anything else and they are worth your time and energy.
  • Bring some humor back into the conversation to ease the tension and make space for love after calming down from the argument.
  • Make up in front of the kids so that they also learn from their parents and understand the value of each other despite having a fight or argument.

What Are The Things That Can Hinder When You Want To Calm Down After An Argument?

A few things from where you wish to keep distant to keep the stability present include:

  • Drinking or consuming illegal substances definitely doesn’t help relieve your tension but just mask the feelings overall.
  • Even if you have resolved the argument, the disagreements in your mind will not give any gains. Focus on something else or resolve it by speaking your mind.
  • Avoid having the same argument with anyone else in order to win or lose it all. Sometimes losing an argument from one end drives a person to have an argument with others again to win it but this case certainly needs to be avoided.
  • Many of us might go to sleep angry but it only leaves your mind boggling and nights sleepless.


We are hopeful that you have cleared out the steps about how to calm down after an argument by reading the blog. Would you like to add into something or share your thoughts and experiences? If yes, the comment section below is all yours.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.

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