“I Don’t Belong Anywhere” – 8 Reasons You Feel This Way (And What To Do)

Last Update on October 3, 2022 : Published on July 30, 2022

Have you ever had this thought, “I don’t belong anywhere” pop into your mind? Have you ever felt that because of your quirky personality, you don’t fit in the “norm”? Have you ever felt alienated from everyone around you? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then you, my friend, are not alone.

Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere is something that we all experience at one point in our lives. With all of us connected through social media, it’s inevitable to feel this way.

Sometimes, you may feel this way when you’re going through hard times and can’t find anyone to relate to and other times, it can be because of unaddressed emotional health or mental health disorder. The feeling like you don’t belong anywhere can happen to anyone anytime.

Whatever your reasons, it’s OK to feel this way. After all, humans are tuned to belong. Our need to belong can sometimes make us feel this way. We need to feel that we belong – whether in a social setting or with ourselves.

If you’ve been wondering lately about how you don’t belong anywhere, here are some potential reasons you might be feeling this way.

Why Do You Feel Like You Don’t Belong?

Some common reasons why you feel like you don’t belong anywhere can include:

1. Your Views Or Personality Are Different Than Others

The world, at times, does not make sense. It can be hard to find a place to belong when you’re constantly warring against the world about what you stand for.

As an individual, you have a unique personality, and when your quirks and views refuse to align with others around you, it may make you feel like you don’t belong. A simple way to fix this can be to connect with groups and clubs that share the same views as you.

2. You Can’t Express Yourself

Not everyone is comfortable with expressing their emotions and more often than not, this inability can turn into emotional constipation. The willingness and the ability to express yourself are important as they can help you connect with others.

The ability to express oneself can also help communicate your feelings, desires, and needs to others. When your feelings are understood and your needs are met, then it can bring a feeling of belonging.

3. You Or Others Around You Are Evolving

No one can remain the same – physically, mentally, or emotionally. We all change and evolve with time and sometimes for the better or the worse. In any case, people might come and stay or they might come and go.

Change is not something everyone happily adjusts to and this change can make you feel like you don’t belong anywhere anymore. Instead of fighting against the change, accept it. The people will still be there even if a little evolved.

4. You Are Stuck In A Rut

When you’re stuck in a rut at some point in your life, the frustration can get to you, making you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. More than that, this frustration born out of being stuck can bring loneliness and isolation to the surface. If you’re someone who’s not used to being lonely, then this frustration can become more isolating. To fix this, take a break, shake up your routine, or do something new.

5. You Are Mentally Struggling

Certain emotional and mental health conditions can also make you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Depression, for example, can cause you to feel helpless and hopeless.

These feelings when left unaddressed can make you feel like you don’t belong. Fortunately, with the right help and intervention, these feelings can be put to rest. If this feeling of not belonging persists, then you can seek professional help.

6. You Are Discovering Yourself Still

Knowing your purpose in life can help you feel that you belong. However, finding your purpose in life isn’t an easy task. It may take months, years, or even decades to find yourself and the purpose of your life.

If you’re still discovering yourself then it’s normal to feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Thankfully, you can find a life coach or a mentor to help you find your life’s purpose and cope with this feeling.

7. You Are Trying Too Hard To Belong

You know that you don’t belong and you’re trying to belong in your world but trying too hard to belong can become counterproductive.

Remember, it’s OK to feel like you don’t belong anywhere, however, forcing yourself to belong can make you feel worse. There’s no shame in admitting that you feel this way. You can try to ask yourself some self-reflection questions or find people with similar ideas to fix this.

8. FOMO Is Increasing

While social media has been a great help in connecting with others around the globe, it has also increased the feelings of FOMO (feeling of missing out). Many people on social media don’t shy away from voicing their opinions even if they hurt others.

These negative comments on social media can make you feel isolated and feel like you don’t belong. It’ll do you good if you find a way to connect with people who think like you and with whom you can truly be you.

What To Do When You Don’t Belong Anywhere?

If any of the above-listed reasons are the cause of you feeling like you don’t belong anywhere anymore, then there are some ways you can overcome this feeling:

1. If it’s a mental health disorder that’s the cause of you feeling this way, then you can find a counselor or therapist to help you address the issue.

2. You can also write down your feelings, values, and thoughts in a journal to understand what it is that you want to change. Maybe this can help you find the right people to connect with.

3. Become more expressive even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. When you learn to express yourself without hiding, it can help you connect with others better. Find meetups you can join or events you can attend. Be open to forming new friendships.

4. If you find yourself face to face with someone who doesn’t like or ally with you, then it doesn’t mean that you have to change your views. You can have your values and beliefs but you can choose to put boundaries. If they don’t agree to your boundaries, then you can let them go. Remember to always be true to yourself.

If you’re still thinking, “I don’t belong anywhere”, then you can always connect with a professional counselor or a therapist for help and guidance. They can help you gain insight into your reasons and help you change your thought process.

Help is available and you are not alone. Feeling like you don’t belong is OK. Overcoming this thinking might take time but never give up. There’s always a place for you in this world to belong.

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Take Care!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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