Is First Year Of Marriage Hardest? Let’s Make Your Marriage Successful!

Last Update on March 5, 2024 : Published on March 5, 2024

Everyone says the first year of marriage is tough or the hardest, well, we couldn’t agree more! First year of marriage is known to be the hardest phase of life but do you know it is important at the same time? 

First year of marriage is a year of transition, financial troubles, loyalty, serious responsibilities, roles, and much more. Most importantly, two people try to stand through their commitment, love, and affection towards each other like they used to share before marriage. The concept of perfect marriages is only limited to social media. 

If you’re newly married, know that there’s no shame in acknowledging that you are having a hard time or struggling in the first year of marriage. To help you succeed in the first year of marriage, I have compiled some reasons why the first year of marriage is important and effective tips to make your marriage successful. So, let’s get started!

Related: Resentment In Marriage: Causes, Consequences & How To Deal With It

Reasons Why First Year of Marriage Is Hardest?

Even if you’ve already lived together pre-marriage, the first year of marriage is the hardest because according to relationship experts, early years of marriage are quite tricky. Once you get married, everything doubles up, even the stress! 

The next day right after the wedding is the day when transition begins. The moment of the fairy-tale ends and serious roles and responsibilities begin. Marriage is very different than being in a relationship, marriage is a permanent union wherein you have to work together on everything… be it fights, disappointments, successes, goals, or anything. 

In the first year of marriage, little fights start feeling frustrating because suddenly you realize, this is how you’re going to be for the rest of your life. Particularly, this thinking makes little issues look big. Isn’t it the hardest? 

Have you ever heard about glass-half-full-or-half-empty-theory? Our perspective toward life brings major changes! Clearly, it’s your perspective… if you want to see the first year of marriage the hardest or most important? Do you know why the first year of marriage is important? 

Because it’s the year of adjustment, transition, taking up roles and responsibilities, financial issues, loyalty, the little things that make you both happy…and much more! The first year of marriage is the year of foundation wherein you both work together to build a better and healthy life together.

Therefore, before you start pinning out each other’s differences, faults, or bad habits, it might be high time to work together, correct each other, and perform the groundwork strongly so that the coming years serve happiness and health in your marriage. 

Do you know according to couple’s expert, if you’re both willing together to overcome conflict, enable fun together in your marriage, respect each other mutually, fill your life with intimacy and romance, stand up through the commitments, openly discuss the problems, and respect each other’s boundaries, nothing can break your marriage, instead it will help in strengthening your marriage. 

Common Problems Faced During The First Year Of Marriage

It’s common to face problems in the first year of marriage but as I mentioned the first year of marriage may be the hardest but it is one of the most important years of the foundation. There may be ups and downs but most importantly, it’s important how we navigate through the problems. 

1. Addictions 

Addictions may have direct negative impacts on the marriage. Addictions such as alcohol, drugs, or substances may lead to violence or assault in marriages as well. In such situations, connect with a mental health professional. 

2. Conflicts 

Never-ending conflicts might result in trivial issues, in such situations, do not prolong the discussions or arguments. Let go of little things, control your emotions, and work on resolving the conflicts instead. 

3. Financial struggles 

Financial instabilities may put chronic stress on the relationship or marriage. In cases of financial struggles, work together, save together, and cover the debts together so that you can build a positive life together. 

4. Lack of romance or emotional intimacy 

In some marriages, couples may face struggles related to lack of expression, lack of physical or emotional intimacy, or sex. In such cases, openly discuss your problems, set your expectations wisely, and work on romance. Set impromptu dates or you can try spontaneous sex. 

5. Selfishness

If you’re facing ignorance, avoidance, or selfishness issues in your marriage, know that such issues can only be resolved with proper and mindful communication with your partner.

Related: Does Marriage Counseling Work? | The Signs to Look For!

Tips to Make Your Marriage Successful 

Here’s an effective roadmap for all the newlyweds to figure out the first year of marriage and make the coming years happy, positive, and successful: 

1. Maintain your identity

When a couple says “I do”, their whole life suddenly changes, suddenly “I” becomes “us”, “me” become “we”, and whatnot. Marriages temporarily take away self-confidence, self-esteem, and independence. Loss of identity is temporary but it usually becomes permanent, especially when we decline to overcome our challenges and convert our strengths into weaknesses. Work on the temporary feelings, and focus on your individualities together, empower each other, and preserve your identity to enhance your sense of self

2. Plan your finances wisely

The position of your partner really does not matter when it comes to building a home. When it comes to building a home together, couples must work together and make wise decisions regarding finances. Make mindful decisions while allocating, spending, or saving your income. 

3. Follow the 2-2-2 outing rule

Have you ever heard about the 2-2-2 outing rule about couples… This rule says that couples must go on a date once every two weeks, spend a weekend away every two months, and take a week-long vacation every two years. 

4. Set healthy boundaries 

When I suggest you set healthy boundaries, I am not only talking about your spouse, but also setting boundaries with your in-laws, family members, and other people involved in the marriage as it helps in understanding family dynamics and keeping your mental health intact during the first year of marriage. 

5. Communicate openly 

Communication can be one of the best tools to make your marriage successful and healthy. Do you remember those pre-wedding moments when you used to share every little thing with your partner? Treat similarly, and openly discuss your fears, concerns, or feelings with your partner. If you’re not getting time together, take out some time together, and be ready to listen actively, speak mindfully, and validate accordingly. 

6. Focus more on resolving conflicts

Arguments, disagreements, and conflicts are part of everyone’s life; it’s important how we perceive them. When it comes to marriages, small fights can lead to major issues, therefore, it’s always better to change your perspective and work more on resolving conflicts so that you can have extended support from your spouse and navigate easily through the first year of marriage. 

7. Express gratitude every day

Practicing gratitude is important in marriages or relationships. Couples need to have a positive mindset towards each other. A simple “thank you” must be incorporated daily to feel appreciated and validated. It’s important to practice kindness, perfectly embrace imperfections, and most importantly learn from mistakes. 

8. Learn to let go

Marriages are full of ups and downs, therefore, avoid taking everything to heart. Let go of things you can’t control and have to regulate your emotions mindfully to make your marriage work. Avoid carrying emotional baggage instead try to confront challenges and seek support from your partner when required. 

9. Be kind and understanding

Life after marriage is staying together not only physically but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. Be gentle towards the first phase of your marriage and as I mentioned, work on strengthening the foundation of your new home. Be kind and understanding towards your partner, understand them empathetically, and reflect accordingly before jumping to conclusions candidly. 

10. Focus more on the little things

Have you ever focused on the little things that your partner candidly does for you? Focus on the little things and make yourself feel involved and invested in the marriage. 

11. Try couple’s counseling

If you’re having a hard time navigating the challenges in your marriage, you can try couples counseling together. An experienced and registered couple therapist may help you set healthy boundaries, enhance your affection, navigate through challenges, and resolve conflicts.

To connect with an experienced and registered couple’s counselor, refer to the below-mentioned link:

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I hope this blog helps you understand why the first year of marriage is important and how to make your marriage successful. Comment down and share your queries related to the first year of marriage. For more such content, connect with us through all social media platforms. 

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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