Does Marriage Counseling Work? | The Signs to Look For!

Last Update on January 23, 2024 : Published on January 23, 2024

If you’re in a relationship – long distance, domestic partnership, live-in, or marriage – then you know that value, effort, love, and patience that goes into keeping the relationship alive and well. Marriage, or any relationship wherein you or your partner are in all ways dependent on each other, is a journey filled with ups and downs, and in the middle of those, couples find themselves riding challenges, seemingly insurmountable.

When life and relationships become overwhelming and seemingly unmanageable, many couples seek help – marriage counseling – as a beacon of hope. But amid all that, the burning question remains; Does marriage counseling really work?

Couples seek marriage counseling to receive guidance from a professional counselor to figure out their next steps and resolve issues. You and your partner might seek marriage counseling for different reasons, but the gist of it remains the same; getting help and support to sustain the relationship.

I’ll be helping you explore the factors that determine the success of your marriage counseling, the signs that it’s working for your relationship, and how you can find the right counselor.

What Makes a Marriage Counseling Work?

1. Commitment From Both Partners

Any successful marriage counseling depends on the commitment of both partners. If you and your partner are willing to invest time, effort, and openness into the relationship and the process to fix it, the chances of success are high.

2. Communication

Now, you have heard that communication is key, but you don’t understand how true it is – especially when it comes to determining the success of your counseling efforts. When you communicate openly and honestly, the chances that your marriage counseling will work, increase. Communication includes you and your partner expressing your feelings, needs, and concerns, without judgment.

3. Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic relationship you and your partner have with your counselor can also play a huge role in determining the success of your counseling. A good fit with your counselor ensures that you and your partner would feel comfortable, understood, and supported, fostering a positive environment.

4. Therapy Expectations

Changes take time, and results take even longer to show. Knowing this is also detrimental to your counseling success. Unrealistic expectations from your counselor and the process can cause frustration and a premature judgment that your counseling is not working or that your counselor isn’t a good fit.

5. Active Participation

You and your partner need to actively take part in the counseling process and the subsequent homework assignments that your counselor gives you. Only when you and your partner are actively participating in the counseling process, can you make your marriage counseling truly work.

Is Your Marriage Counseling Working? Signs To Look!

So, how do you know if your marriage counseling is working? Here are some signs you can look out for;

1. There is improved communication between you and your partner. You both are communicating effectively, listening actively to each other, and expressing your needs without fear. This is a sign that your marriage counseling is making an impact on your relationship.

2. There is better empathy, and you are better able to understand your partner’s perspective on things. If you and your partner can understand each other’s point of view and feelings, creating a deeper connection, then it’s too, a promising sign that your counseling is working.

3. There are signs of conflict resolution rather than an increase in arguments. Counseling teaches you healthier ways to resolve conflicts in relationships, so if you’re moving from heated arguments to constructive discussions, it’s a sign that your marriage counseling is working.

4. There’s a rekindled sense of intimacy in your relationship. Meaning that you and your partner are on the same road to rediscover intimacy in your relationship. And not just the physical one – mental intimacy and emotional intimacy. This connection assures that your marriage counseling is on the right track.

5. There are shared goals between you and your partner. You both have learned to align your individual and shared goals with the help of your counselor, and you know what your next steps could be when it comes to your relationship. This is another sign that your counseling is working.

Are You Ready For Marriage Counseling?

Knowing when to seek professional intervention can save your relationship from falling apart completely. You can consider marriage counseling if you find yourself constantly arguing in the relationship without resolution or feeling a breakdown in communication.

Another sign that you need counseling can be when the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship vanishes into thin air. This is when counseling can help you understand and address the causes of the lack of intimacy.

Trust, in any relationship, is the bedrock; the most important element. If your relationship seems to lack trust – due to infidelity or any other causes – then counseling can help you heal from that and move on. Moreover, if your life has seen any recent major life changes – job loss, relocation, babies, pregnancy, etc. – then these transitions can also put a strain on your relationship. Seeking help and counseling during these changes can help you get the support you need.

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Marriage counseling can be beneficial for you, but its overall effectiveness depends on the commitment, effort, and communication between you and your partner. In any case, marriage counseling offers a safe and non-judgmental space to explore issues, improve communication in your marriage, and learn skills for a thriving relationship.

Remember, while a marriage counseling session might not always guarantee a perfect marriage resolution, it does equip you with tools to see through the ups and downs of your relationship.

How to Find The Right Marriage Counselor?

1. Ask For Recommendations:

You can ask your family and friends for recommendations. Personal referrals, especially for counseling and therapy, can be valuable and can give you an exclusive insight into a counselor’s approach and effectiveness.

2. Go Online:

You can also surf online looking for “marriage counseling near me” options to find counselors who are within your region. Some directories can help you find qualified counselors. These online resources often show reviews and profiles, so you can peruse them and find the one you think is right for you.

3. Check For Credentials:

Always ensure that the counselor you’ve picked has the right license and relevant experience in marriage counseling and family therapy. Looking for certifications can show their qualifications, making it easier for you to make a decision.

4. Go For Consultation:

Before you finalize on a counselor, schedule an appointment for consultation with the counselor. This can help you assess the counselor’s approach and how comfortable you are with them. A good connection with the counselor is, after all, important for the success of marriage counseling.

Frequently Asked Questions – FAQs

Q: How long does marriage counseling take?

The duration of a counseling session depends on different factors, but once you’re in some sessions deep, you can start noticing the changes within a few sessions. Looking for long-lasting results of marriage counseling might take time – several weeks or months.

Q: Can marriage counseling save a failing marriage?

While counseling can offer you tools and support, the success of the counseling process can depend on the commitment you and your partner show. It can only save a marriage if both – you and your partner – are willing to work together for a positive outcome.

Q: Is marriage counseling only for couples looking for separation or divorce?

No, marriage counseling is beneficial for anyone looking to improve their relationship. It can help address minor issues, better your communication, and strengthen your marriage.

Q: Do both spouses need to attend counseling?

Ideally, yes. Having both partners/spouses in sessions ensures that both perspectives are heard, supported, and understood. It also makes sure that there is active participation and communication from both partners/spouses during the session.

Wrapping Up…

Marriage counseling is a resource for couples – at any stage of their relationship – facing challenges and uncertainties to resolve and fix their relationship. The key is to understand the signs that show progress and know that successful marriage counseling needs mutual commitment, communication, and the right counselor.

Whether you’re struggling with major life transitions or just looking to better your connection with your partner or spouse, marriage counseling can take you a step further into a happy and healthier relationship.

There will be bumps in the road, but keep holding your S/Os hand; keep believing in your trust and heart, and see how positive change enters your life.

We sincerely hope this article helps you know the signs that your marriage counseling works. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. If you liked reading this article, then do show your appreciation by giving us a thumbs up.

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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