Eye Contact – How does it Help Build Relationships?

Last Update on July 7, 2023 : Published on July 9, 2023
why eye contact is important in relationships

Like shaking hands, eye contact is another effective way to make connections. It helps build trust and improves compassion, belief, and social association. Yet most people ignore this fact and face problems in their relationships. If you or someone you know is having relationship issues, try making eye contact with your loved one and see how this basic communication increases intimacy and passes on the feeling of love, and builds compatibility.

Eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication that helps you connect with others without using words. Using it, you can make strides in your sentimental connections, construct more grounded companionships, and improve your associations, eventually looking into another person’s soul. This intimacy can sometimes make someone feel uneasy, but it can be an incredible tool that helps heal relationships.

Why does Eye Contact Matter?

Eye contact is vital for building relationships, managing emotions, and reducing stress. Through it, you can show how much you care for the person, believe in them, and make the connection. However, when the other person avoids making eye contact, it is obvious to feel uncomfortable, disconnected, and skeptical. We should make eye contact while talking to people to make better connections.

Researchers have found that looking into someone’s eye affects how we see and connect with them. The same goes when you look at drawings or pictures.

When you look straight into someone’s eye, you can understand how they feel, what they want, and what they believe, resulting in feeling more empathetic and understanding. Also, making eye contact tells whether or not you can trust a person, communicate with them, and establish personal, professional, or social relations.

Furthermore, in a romantic relationship, eye contact tells about your interest in the other person and whether you feel emotionally connected.

Eye contact is a way to improve relationships and make social interactions better.

Why Making Eye Contact is Challenging?

There are several reasons why people might find making eye contact difficult. This includes:-

  • Social anxiety disorders make others feel bad about themselves when they make eye contact.
  • They are scared of being judged by others.
  • Fight between a couple makes them choose not to make eye contact.
  • When someone wants to hide something, feels anxious or shy about telling them something, or lacks self-confidence.

Benefits Of Making Eye Contact

1. Eye Contact Strengthens Relationships

Looking into someone’s eyes reveals a person and helps improve relationships. Here we explain some of the advantages of eye contact and how it impacts relationships.

There are different ways to look at someone and look in the eye. When eye contact is avoided for a purpose in a relationship, the possibility of a dispute, argument, conflict, and distance between the partners increases. It means there is an issue that needs to be addressed soon. Sometimes when the partners think of something else or have something else on their minds, they accidentally avoid looking into each other’s eyes.

However, when this avoidance is changed into a purposeful look, it shows interest. When eye contact becomes focused, there is a stronger connection, and both persons are attracted to each other. Couples who stare and always keep eye contact during a conversation display their connection.

2. Looking into each other’s eyes strengthens connection.

In addition, when eye contact is made with someone, it shows them that you are interested and involved in a conversation or interaction. Looking into your partner’s eyes while talking makes them feel valuable, and they know you are listening. It shows them that you care about them and have affection and love for them. However, when it is the opposite of it, they know you are inattentive, uninterested, and have become distant.

3. Builds Better Understanding and Makes Communication Easy

While talking to your partner, when you look directly into their eyes, you can communicate better and easily understand what they want from you. Also, looking at your partner’s eyes while talking shows them that you are listening, care about what they have to say, and are trying to see things from their point of view.

Moreover, eye contact helps express gratitude, admiration, and affection. When this is done, the relationship strengthens, and both persons feel more connected. This is why it is said don’t underestimate the importance of eye contact. Even when no words are involved, you can communicate better by looking into the eyes and making eye contact. However, when gazing at someone, remember not to stare at them as this might make them uncomfortable.

4. Trust and Closeness are Created

Eye contact not only helps one understand your emotions but it also helps build trust and closeness in relationships. While talking, when you look someone in the eye, you can make the other person trust you and show your honesty. A direct look shows interest, attentiveness, and your interest in forming a stronger connection.

Unlike verbal communication, where men and women express their expectations differently, nonverbal communication through the eyes has a similar meaning. In an experiment conducted on a dating website, men and women were asked to advertise themselves. Each of them presented them with words that were related to physical appearance.

Men said they are physically fit, attractive, and good-looking, while females said they are caring, intelligent, and kind. Each of these responses reflected their social stereotypes and expectations based on gender. Men showed themselves as physically attractive, while females focused on their nurturing side.

However, when both men and women were asked to show interest in a person romantically without using words, they were inclined to smile and make eye contact. This experiment clearly shows making eye contact is a common way men and women use to show romantic interest.

Furthermore, eye contact strengthens romantic relationships by giving the other person the space to confide and telling them it is okay to be vulnerable and open. Looking into a partner’s eye makes one feel closer and more connected to them.

5. The feeling of Empathy and Compassion Can Be Felt.

 When you want to tell someone that you understand them and connect with their feelings, looking directly into the eyes is a solid way to say it without using words. A candid look into the eye gives hints about the feelings. This means you can use your eyes to say it all if you are shy or publicly fear expressing yourself and your emotions. The eyes help control and express emotions, teach one how to interact socially, and express feeling open without making your partner awkward.

When eye contact is made, imitating others’ behavior and showing similar emotions becomes easy. This helps people connect and relate to each other, making them more caring, understanding, and united as a group.

6. Can Sense The Feeling of Belongingness

Whether it is the first time you are in a relationship or have just got married, when you look directly into your partner’s eye, you make them feel connected, like they belong with you and are a part of you. Making eye contact means recognizing and acknowledging that they are a fellow human. This can help your loved one feel connected and included in social situations. Furthermore, keeping eye contact with someone can make them feel more supported and improve their overall well-being.

How does Eye Contact help Build Connections?

To connect with someone, it is important that you look into their eyes. It boosts confidence and makes you better at talking to them. For some people making direct eye contact is difficult and uncomfortable.

Here, we explain specific ways to make them feel more comfortable looking someone in the eye, paying attention, showing they are listening, and finding a balance with body language.

1. Practice building comfort

For some people looking into the eye and talking to a new person is the scariest thing and a stressful situation. To overcome this fear and discomfort, you should start by practicing looking into someone’s eye and talking. Don’t feel pressured or think that someone is there to judge. If strangers give you that vibe, pick a close friend or family member to talk to while looking into the eye. This will help boost your self-assurance and make you more comfortable with the experience.

Also, if a longer conversation is what makes you feel anxious, start by making short conversations with brief eye contact and slowly increase it. Moreover, you can practice in front of a mirror, notice the habits that make you nervous, and get more comfortable looking into people’s eyes.

2. Notice the Quality Of Eye Contact

Different styles and quality of eye contact are just as important as making eye contact. When you make eye contact, looking directly into the eye is important but it shouldn’t stare, as this makes the other person uneasy. When people make soft and gentle eye contact with relaxed body language, it conveys pleasantness. When you stare at someone and do not blink your eyes and have stern body language, it says you are either disappointed or angry.

Therefore, when making eye contact, you should be relaxed, stare softly, and pay attention to the other person’s eyes to make eye contact better. Also, pay attention to their facial expressions and body language.

3. Use Eye Contact As A Tool for Active Listening

To be a good listener, one must listen to what is being said. However, you cannot be a listener if you don’t make eye contact. Looking into someone’s eyes while speaking and vice versa shifts the focus to the person and the conversation involving you.

This helps build trust, gives a better understanding, and makes you respond appropriately to the other person. To be a good listener, it’s essential to look at the person talking, not interrupt or look away, and show you’re paying attention by nodding or smiling.

4. Balanced Eye Contact is Key to Healthy Conversation

It is vital to keep looking balanced to communicate without words and tell how you feel about the other person. Looking directly into the eye is essential, but good body language and facial expressions are equally important. How you move around during a conversation while keeping eye contact and giving facial expressions shows whether or not you are interested in the talk.

For example, when someone moves their head, smiles, and leans forward to listen to what you have to say, you know they are interested. However, when they cross their arms, look away, fight with things, and are not responsive, you know they are uninterested.

Therefore, keep your body language and facial expression in sync when you make eye contact. You can quickly develop and be better at nonverbal communication.

What lack of eye contact does to a relationship?

 To create a stronger bond and have trust in a relationship, eye contact is really important. When eye contact is avoided in a relationship, it builds tension, and a sense of disconnection can be felt. Say, for example, your partner comes to your home after a hectic day and is telling you all that has happened, but you are not making eye contact. They will learn you ignore them and are not interested in what they want to say.

Avoiding eye contact can make the partner feel that you are no longer interested in them or the relationship. You don’t feel the same way as you used to feel earlier. It can even make them question their existence in your life, and they may fear that you might leave them. No eye contact in a relationship hurts the partner and complicates connecting emotionally. Furthermore, they can feel they no longer trust them, are hiding things, or want to end the relationship.

Eye Contact Is a Powerful Tool. Use It Wisely.

Eye contact is very important and can significantly impact how well you get along with others. It helps us understand, care, trust, and feel more connected to each other. Not making eye contact can make you feel uncomfortable, distrustful, and isolated. Knowing the importance of eye contact helps you communicate better with others and create stronger connections in many areas of your life.

Making eye contact when talking to people can help you build more meaningful relationships. Looking each other in the eye is important to bring people closer together and build strong bonds for good relationships. If you or your partner consistently avoid looking into each other’s eyes, it could indicate a breakup between you or a deeper issue such as insecurity.

In these cases, or if you don’t feel close or connected to your partner, it may be helpful to seek counseling to resolve the issue.

Not looking people in the eye can be problematic if you are insecure or shy. But with practice, you can overcome this problem and understand how eye contact can benefit your relationships.

About The Author

Ayush Yadav
Ayush Yadav

Aayush is a writer, and storyteller who is passionate about using words to help drive positive change and make people aware about the history. He holds a bachelor's in law, lives in the princely state Jaipur and is passionate about helping people in anyway possible. In his spare time, he is usually out with friends and enjoys exploring different facets of life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

As Seen On