How To Express Jealousy In A Positive & Healthy Way In A Relationship?

Last Update on May 20, 2022 : Published on May 22, 2022
Healthy ways to express jealousy in a relationship

Jealousy is a natural emotion that hits each living individual on earth. Even animals feel jealous of each other and that shows it is as normal and natural as other emotions like feeling sad, happy, irritated, scared, etc.

Jealousy in relationships is more common than other types of jealousy. Now, it’s okay to feel jealous in a relationship provided you know how to express jealousy in a positive way, in a healthy way.

Not knowing how to deal with jealousy in a relationship and ruin everything between you and your partner. One of the best ways to respond to jealousy is to express it to your partner in a healthy and constructive manner.

Want to know how to express jealousy in a positive way?

Let’s understand a few things about jealousy first and then we shall get to business!

Understanding Jealousy in a relationship (Why Am I So Jealous In My Relationship?)

Jealousy is a very common experience when relationships are concerned. You are so deeply attached to your partner that you sometimes can’t fathom the fact that other people can be a part of their lives too.

Jealousy happens more often in newly bloomed relationships because you have made your partner the center of your world and you expect them to do the same. Nothing is wrong in this but we often forget that there are other people, things, objects, etc. that are a part of their lives to which require time and attention.

Jealousy in a relationship is normal but you need to know a healthy way to respond to jealousy so that your relationship doesn’t have to pay the price.

What Makes You Jealous In A Relationship?

There is no one reason behind someone feeling jealous in a relationship. It depends on your personal experiences in the past, your thoughts and feelings about certain actions, etc. let’s look at some of the common things that can trigger jealousy in a relationship;

  • You are an insecure person,
  • You have a poor self-image,
  • You have a fear of abandonment,
  • You enjoy being in charge and controlling your partner,
  • You are a very possessive person,
  • You have preoccupied attachment style,
  • You hold unrealistic expectations from your partner, etc.

Healthy Ways To Respond To Jealousy

In order to respond well to jealousy you need to first acknowledge and accept that you are feeling jealous of XYZ. Once that is done, you can try doing a few things that will help you process that jealous feelings and not let it hamper your connection with your partner;

  • Understand your jealousy, where is it coming from, what’s the source?
  • Do not bottle up your feelings, talk about your concerns
  • Try to look at the bigger picture rather than focusing on the one tiny thing
  • Seek support from a trusted friend or family member, talk to them
  • Try to look at jealous from different perspectives
  • You can learn some coping techniques to deal with jealousy
  • Be grateful for the things you have
  • Be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings

How To Express Jealousy In A Healthy Way?

Expressing jealousy to your partner is one of the healthiest ways of dealing with jealousy in a relationship. Unfortunately jealousy is a strong emotion that has the power to ruin a perfectly healthy relationship and there are only a few ways you can express jealousy in a healthy and positive way.

Keep these 5 tips to express jealousy in a healthy way close to your heart so that you don’t let jealousy take over the love the both of you share.

Here you go;

1. Personal introspection:

for people who struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, self-worth issues, etc are prone to feeling more jealous than other people. Whenever you experience jealousy, try looking into your feelings and thoughts, are intrusive thoughts influencing you? Question your own thoughts and discuss them with someone you really trust.

2. Collect your thoughts before you jump into an argument:

jealousy can make you bounce at your partner with a lot of negative thoughts, angst, questions, etc. that’s the time you need to get a hold of yourself and relax for a bit. Collect all your thoughts, you can write them down, or consult a friend. Understand your thoughts and know the right thing to say, so you don’t hurt your partner while expressing your feelings.

3. Talk about your feelings/concerns, don’t straight away accuse them:

it’s very important to understand that an accusation statement will only ruin your relationship. It will not only hurt your partner but can make them fall out of love with you. Make sure you talk in the first person, say, “I Feel jealous because…” i was uncomfortable with…” rather say “you did XYZ..” You made a fool of me…” etc.

4. Trust your partner and be compassionate:

no story has just one side, if you ever end up in a jealous position, confess your feelings and let your partner explain their side of the story as well. You can then evaluate the situation and let go of the negative feelings. Knowing what your partner feels is as important as your feelings.

5. Give it some time and be patient:

it does not end at expressing your jealous feelings and thoughts, you need to give it some time. Those feelings will not vanish in a snap. let your partner understand and process your feelings meanwhile you relearn to trust your partner. Both the partners should try to make some changes in their actions and thoughts and be patient through the process.

That’s All Folks!

I hope you found the blog interesting, informative and thought provoking. I hope now you know how to express jealousy in a healthy and positive manner. Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship.

Keep these tips to express jealousy in mind and do share this blog with your friends and family so that no relationship is ruined because of insecurity, jealousy and misunderstandings.

Thanks for reading!

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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