Are You Being Gaslighted? Try These Ways To Deal With Gaslighting
“You’re imagining things on your own!”
“You are crazy; this is not what exactly happened!”
“Why are you so sensitive? I was just only kidding!”
“You have no idea what you are talking about! Stop playing the victim!”
Sounds familiar to you? If your spouse or someone at work keeps repeating these phrases in front of you, you might be experiencing gaslighting. Are you reading this term for the first time? Don’t worry you’ve stepped into the right place. In this blog we will explain Gaslighting with examples and how to deal with Gaslighting and if you came across gaslighters then how you can respond to them?
First, let us understand what does the term gaslighting means?
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a term used for intentional attempts at manipulation. Gaslighting revolves around doubting someone’s feelings, reality, along with the perception of events. If someone is trying to gaslight, they might try to confuse you which may result in self-doubt. Gaslighting is intentional and the person is more likely to get you along with what they need you to do.
Examples of Gaslighting
The person who is trying to gaslight you will try to minimize your feelings by suggesting that your emotions do not matter. Or also may try to accuse you of overacting.
The person who is gaslighting will try questioning your memory by asking small or unique details so that they can deny it and might blame you in return instead.
The person who is trying to gaslight you might try to brush off your feelings and explanations so that they can succeed in confusing you.
Observe that whenever you will try to bring a concern they will change their behavior and instead will suggest to you that it’s all in your mind.
5. Denying or forgetting
Whenever you try to mention something about an event or a situation, they try to ignore the reality by stating they don’t remember or something like this never happened.
Whenever you try to remember things, they confuse you and say things that never happened. If this is happening at work, it might impact your career, work, or growth.
[ To read more about Gaslighting and its symptoms, refer to the below-mentioned link: 7 Warning signs for you to detect gaslighting ]
Gaslighting leads to
1. Apologizing frequently
2. Questioning or doubting yourself
3. Wondering constantly about your sensitivity
4. Struggling with decision making
5. Avoiding loved ones since you’re unable to express your feelings
6. Constant feeling of sadness, confusion, and not feeling like usual self
Wondering, How to deal with gaslighting? Scroll down to check out these ways!
How to Deal With Gaslighting?
1. You Need to Make Sure if it’s Gaslighting or Not.
Gaslighting is not easy to identify especially when the person who’s trying to gaslight you knows about your behavior style. However, you can confirm it by observing the pattern of repeated manipulation. Additionally, you can also check this blog to confirm if they are gaslighting you or not so you can deal with Gaslighting wisely.
Also Read: Signs to look for detecting gaslighting
People who are trying to gaslight you might turn up and start saying, “You are completely wrong. This does not make any sense. I know what I am talking about and you should listen to me.” Such sentences might start manipulating you.
Also Read: Recognizing & Protecting Yourself From Emotional Manipulation
2. Take Some Space and Understand Your Emotions.
It usually takes time to detect and understand gaslighting. Once you have detected it, it might become difficult to deal with your emotions while dealing with someone who is gaslighting you. Worry, anger, sadness, and fear are some of the common emotional feelings.
Do not feel guilty about them, they are completely valid. Also, while understanding your emotions do not take any immediate reaction. Do not let your anger guide you.
With the help of calamity and positivity, you will be able to manage such situations with effectiveness and better outcomes. Do not avoid your feelings, do not avoid what that person has done to you (it is completely not acceptable). And, whenever they try to bring you down, do not put stress and challenge them fearlessly.
Related Read: 5 Ways to handle emotional blackmail in a relationship
Focus on revealing the truth, keep calm, and do not let someone bring your false version. Stay confident and have faith. Everything is going to be alright.
If you wish to get some break from these things, you can take a look at doing these mindful activities:
- Try breathing exercises
- Try grounding techniques
- Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Mindfulness technique
- Take the help of mantras and positive affirmations
3. Try to Collect Evidence that Shows That You’re At the Right Place.
Once you have detected the gaslighting and stabled yourself for the challenges, now it’s time to collect some evidence that shows you’re Being Gaslighted. To achieve this, you might need to document every interaction so that you can keep the track of what really happened with you. Whenever they try to manipulate you, you can challenge them and record everything.
You can also take the help of these ideas to collect pieces of evidence:
- Take screenshots
- Take photos that show you’re being Gaslighted
- Document or record conversations
- Journal each and everything with date and time.
- Use your phone to record everything
- Seek legal assistance
- Seek the help of people who support you.
4. Speak up and Stand Up for Yourself.
In most cases, gaslighting imbalances your confidence level and confuses you. It generally makes your life miserable. But, don’t let the misery run your life. If you will challenge the person who is gaslighting you, it will trouble them, it will make them think.
Therefore, challenge them without a second thought! Challenge their lies, their criticism, misbehaviors, and insults. Remember, positivity and calmness is the key to dealing with gaslighting. Do not show them anger, just handle everything politely. Do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. They might try to disguise you again as a Plan B. but, fight back and do not let them insult you or criticize you.
5. Confidence is the Key.
Gaslighting makes your life miserable but that should never stop you from revealing the truth. Every bad event or occasion takes something from us. Gaslighting takes our confidence. Building confidence and believing in yourself is really important when you want to deal with gaslighting positively.
Whatever you have planned to do, just do it calmly and positively with full confidence. Show them evidence and challenge their thoughts so that you can encourage them to spill the truth on their own. If they still continue to manipulate you, do not get yourself caught in a conflict. Instead, protect yourself and gain control over the situation.
6. Seek Support from Professionals.
Gaslighting can sometimes take the face of abuse or violence. This does not mean you’re at the wrong place. Even so, it is difficult to confront emotional abuse. Therefore, seeking help from a therapist is always a modest step you can take to protect your mental health.
I hope this blog helps you to understand ‘how to deal with gaslighting. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.
Thanks for reading!