My Relationship Is Stressing Me Out! How To Deal With Stress In A Relationship?

Last Update on June 2, 2021 : Published on June 4, 2021
Relationship stress

When you begin a new relationship, you find your solace and peace with your partner. You thrive together and climb on various steps in order to make the relationship more comforting. But there are some relationship problems that de-tracks the pace of growth and brings stressors in between you two.

So how to take care of stress in a relationship so that the bond strengthens and a new level of intimacy is achieved?

Well, before we go ahead to find how to be stress-free in a relationship, let’s check out some facts associated with it.

How Stress Affects Relationships?

If a couple ignores the stressors in their relationship or avoids discussing and removing the stressors then it only ignites the stress in the long run. And one must remember that stress bounces in between the two of you while showing its ugly face in actions, verbal and non-verbal communication.

It can turn into depression, isolation and overthinking which finally results in distance and frozen effects. Moreover, it must be understood that men and women react differently to stress due to differences in stress hormones.

Men’s Reaction to Stress  Women’s Reaction to stress
Men tend to release less oxytocin biologically and hence show strong reactions against stress hormones. They are prone to ‘fight or flight’ situation so either repress emotions, fight back or escape completely. Women handle stress in a different manner. They try to nurture everyone around them so they can protect themselves as well as young ones around them.

Moreover, physical effects of stress also start bothering with issues like stomach pain, skin rash, risk of heart disease and high blood pressure. Hence, avoiding stress and finding ways to keep a safe distance from stress in a relationship is of utmost importance. Here is how it can be done.

Dealing With Stress In Relationship: Ways To Cope

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1. Recognizing Stress Symptoms

Many couples become accustomed to stressors so much that they overlook its consequences which are often destructive in the long run.

Notice the signs of stress in your partner like being cranky, moody, teary, pouty, over excited, or even consuming drugs and alcohol to calm the pain. If you are recognizing the signs of stress, it’s better to step up and change the course of action.

2. Talk To Your Partner & Listen Carefully

After a few years of relationship, we often skip talking to our partner like asking about their day, anything they want to share, compassion and going out for date nights.

This itself is enough to flame the stress and anxiety in a relationship as your partner is able to express the fountain going in their head and get your support. It is required to listen to them patiently, even if you have no solution instantly.

3. Workout Together

Workout is also such a good stressbuster and if you work out as a couple, it only boosts your energy levels together. Be it  yoga, gym or swimming, you will be able to keep the flame upright. With that, if you can engage in new activities together which can bring excitement and peace at the same time, make sure you do it together.

4. Form Stress-Reducing Rituals

You would never want to say ‘my relationship is stressing me out’ if you and your partner sit together to make a nice list of things that are helpful in reducing stress.

For example, going for a massage together or giving each other a relaxing massage, playing board games, singing karaoke, reading a book or listening to exciting music together. You can always edit the list with your ideas, likes and dislikes and perform rituals once a week positively.

5. Ask Your Partner What You Can Do

This shows your support and love in a straightforward manner. For example, if you ask your partner, ‘Please tell me if I can do anything to make things go smoother.’ or ‘You can always speak to me.’ You can even do some household chores with them or give a backrub or just oil the hairs.

Stay there with them whenever they need you and let them open about what they can ask from you to cut stress from the relationship.

Do You Need Relationship Counseling?

If you are having

  • repeated arguments
  • numerous doubts in the relationship
  • regularly blame each other
  • A want to up on each other
  • Problems in solving conflicts

along with other signs which show that you need relationship counseling, you might want to talk more. Both of you must understand couples counseling and how to prepare for it before actually going.

Here are the 10 best online marriage counseling programs which are capable of reviving the relationship from core and help you and your partner grow simultaneously. After all, a relationship should not give you stress but actually peace and relaxation.


We hope that you and your partner now know how to deal with stress in a relationship and will effectively work towards resolving the issues.

Are you ready to take your step towards relationship counseling or you will try to resolve it amongst you two once again? Can we help you anyway? If so, drop us a message at and we will connect you with an experienced counselor today.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.


  1. Stephanie Reyes
    Stephanie Reyes

    I argue with my boyfriend on a daily basis and we can’t seem to come to an understanding

    1. CS Team
      CS Team

      If you have tried communicating with each other and tried resolving the issue to a great extent, maybe you can try couple counseling this time. Sometimes we cannot figure out the actual problem and need another perspective to resolve the issues.

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