Understanding Mania Love: The Dark Side of Love

Last Update on May 21, 2024 : Published on May 21, 2024

Love – it’s an emotion-filled fest with countless poems, songs, and books dedicated to this powerful feeling. But, what happens when this love turns into something more intense? More possessive? Scarier? That’s when love becomes mania love, the dark cousin with a penchant for chaos.

This mania love isn’t your typical kind of love. Mania love is intense and can often be characterized by jealousy, possessiveness, and a constant need for reassurance. It’s an obsession where you feel like riding a sugar high and where everything your partner does is perfect. The thought of being apart is just unthinkable! Sounds normal for the “honeymoon” phase, right?

Not quite.

Mania love, while exhilarating, can become obsessive too fast, too soon, and can lead to unhealthy relationship patterns – for you and your partner.

Keep reading to learn more about what mania love is, what causes it, and more importantly, how to move on from the dark side of love.

Mania Love: What Is It?

When we picture love in our minds, it’s always with grand declarations, all-consuming passion, and a need to be together. That’s all well and good, but when these gestures become intense and irrational, they can turn into maniacal love. It’s the kind of love described as intense with irrational feelings of attachment, codependency, and jealousy towards your partner.

If you experience mania love, then you idealize your partner, put them on a pedestal, and overlook their flaws. You crave constant validation and reassurance, and the slightest distance in your relationship can cause anxiety and panic. This obsession can manifest in controlling behaviors, limiting social interactions, and constantly checking on your partner’s activities.

What Does Mania Love Look Like?

If you can relate to mania love experience, then here are some red flags to watch out for;

  • You constantly think about your partner and get jealous of anybody, including your partner
  • You feel the need to control your partner’s actions – what they wear, where they go, and who they hang out with
  • You need constant reassurance of your partner’s love. If you don’t get that, you feel anxious and insecure
  • Your partner is flawless in your eyes, and you overlook any flaws you see in them
  • Your relationship dynamic is volatile with intense emotional highs and lows
  • You neglect your life and needs in favor of catering to your partner’s needs first. You even sacrifice your friendships and hobbies for their sake
  • You fear abandonment and go out of your way to avoid situations that might trigger your fear
  • You experience rapid emotional swings – from intense love to anger in moments
  • You experience obsessive thoughts about your partner

Mania Love vs. Love: Is There a Difference?

Love is a beautiful experience where trust, respect, and independence are vital elements. Many people confuse healthy love feelings with mania love and vice versa. However, there are differences between mania love and healthy love that we should know.

Healthy love encourages us to grow and find independence – together with our partner and alone, while mania love can be suffocating, restricting growth and freedom. When I talk about healthy love, I can say that this kind of love opens the ground for healthy disagreements and communication. Whereas mania love often causes one or both partners to shut down because of the fear of rejection and the fear of abandonment.

Where mania love creates an emotionally unstable environment with constant highs and lows, healthy love feels secure. When you’re in a relationship where healthy love rules, you feel confident in expressing your opinions and views, even if they clash with your partner.

What Causes Mania Love?

Many factors can contribute to mania love. Some common causes of mania love include;

  • Poor self-esteem: You might end up seeking validation from your partner and become overly dependent on them and their validation because you have poor self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Attachment issues: If there are unresolved childhood problems when it comes to attachment, then you might develop a desperate need for a partner to fulfill your unmet emotional needs.
  • Fear of abandonment: The fear of abandonment can also manifest as possessiveness and controlling actions. Driven by this fear, you may display a strange possessiveness and might even try to control your partner’s actions to avoid being left behind.
  • Poor past relationships: If you’ve experienced trauma in a past relationship, then that too, can lead to a distorted view of love and possessiveness in your relationships. You might engage in controlling behaviors to avoid repeating past hurts.
  • Personality disorders: Certain personality disorders and traits can also make you more prone to obsessions and controlling behaviors in a relationship. If you’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder, then it’s a good point to start looking into your behaviors.

Can We Treat Mania Love?

Yes. If you see signs of mania love in you or your partner, then you can seek help and take steps to treat it and develop a healthier mindset when it comes to relationships.

Here are some ways you can treat mania love;

  • Seek Professional Help

Therapy approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and dialectical behavioral therapy can help treat and address underlying issues such as negative thinking, poor self-esteem, and attachment styles that might be contributing to mania love. Even couples therapy can help you develop healthy communication and boundaries in your relationships.

  • Find a Support System

You can also surround yourself with healthy relationships and people who model healthy relationships. Having such people around you can help you work on yourself, how you view yourself, and how you cater to your well-being. You can also join support groups and communities where you can meet people with similar experiences to support you.

  • Lifestyle Changes

Taking care of yourself by engaging in healthy activities such as meditation, yoga, or exercise can help you manage mania love too. Talking with your partner and communicating your needs can also help you move on from mania love into healthy love territory.

Wrap Up…

Mania love sounds exciting, passionate, and intense, but in the long run, it can be a recipe for disaster. In the end, mania love leeches the joy and excitement of love and twists it into a parody of possessiveness, obsession, and insecurity. Knowing the signs and how you can seek help can be your stepping stones to finding a healthier relationship and love.

Talk to your partner about your worries, and let yourself grow with and alongside your partner. If you feel emotional turmoil in the relationship, then don’t be afraid to walk away – for your sanity.

Love is about finding joy and safety in the arms of those you love. If love turns suffocating, then don’t hesitate to seek help. With self-awareness, communication, and a little bit of help, you can break free from mania and turn into the street of healthy love.

I hope this article helps! Let us know your thoughts on mania love in the comments below.

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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