8 Signs You Were Raised by a Toxic Mother

Last Update on August 21, 2023 : Published on February 20, 2023
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Sometimes people fail to recognize the toxic environment we live in. It can be because we are so used to toxic relationships with our parents that identifying having a toxic mother becomes really difficult.

Can you name any signs a toxic mother raised you? Many of us can be unaware of having a poisonous mother because we have never seen the better and the other half of it. The abuse becomes so common that we often mistake it to be normal.

Today we are going to discuss some signs of being raised by a toxic mother. Having to grow up with a toxic mother can be very limiting, it can make you develop long-term issues that completely alter your personality.

Did you know, some research suggests that children who grow up with toxic mothers or mothers with negative personality traits are more likely to develop mental health conditions like anxiety and depression?

Knowing the signs of a toxic mother can help you understand why you are the way you are today. It can also help you recognize signs of a toxic mother in you and save your child from the toxicity. Let’s look at some common signs you were raised by a toxic mother…

Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother

Toxic-Mother

  1. Your mother was often cold toward you

Mothers are a huge part of a child’s life. They have the maximum influence someone can have on a child. If your mother has always been cold to you and not ignored you when you need them, you were most likely raised by a toxic mother. Toxic mothers tend to keep all the love and affection to themselves, making their children develop a belief that they don’t deserve love.

  1. You were often neglected by your mother

Mothers with toxic personalities do not connect with their children emotionally. They do not consider their children as their priorities. Toxic mothers are often found neglecting their children, such mothers are never present when their child needs maternal love and support. Polyvagal Theory suggests that the ability to self-soothe comes from being neglected as a child.

  1. Your mother never supported you emotionally

Toxic mothers tend to run away from their children especially when their children are emotionally vulnerable. Being emotionally absent from their children is one of the classic traits of a toxic mother. People who were raised by a toxic mother revealed that such mothers motivated burying their emotions rather than processing them properly.

  1. She criticizes you a little too much

Toxic mothers are too quick to find faults in their children. They are often overly-critical about anything and everything you do. It just makes you feel like you’re not good enough or you’re not capable of accomplishing anything in life. Having an over-critical mother is always unhappy no matter what you pull off.

  1. Your mother has narcissistic tendencies

Did your mother manipulate you just so that we could get things done her way? Mothers with narcissistic tendencies tend to be demanding, engage in silent treatment, act as if they are suffering, manipulate, etc. Most narcissistic tendencies can make your mother toxic pretty soon. If your mother shows narcissistic tendencies, you were raised by a toxic mother.

narcissistic-tendencies

  1. She is always controlling you

Have you always been told what to do? Even when you had a perfectly good plan? Were your opinions and thoughts always doubted and all plans replaced by the ones made by your mother? If yes, it is a sign you were raised by a toxic mother, if she is controlling you all the time, she is limiting your growth. This behavior can make you dependent on her.

  1. She would manipulate you often

Toxic mothers can manipulate you into doing things her way, not giving you any space to be your authentic self. Manipulating is one trick that can easily be picked up. Therefore, children who have been raised by manipulative mothers can turn into manipulators themselves. Such traits tend to invite a lot of problematic behaviors like gaslighting, victim blaming, etc.

  1. You have been abused by your mother

Now, physical abuse is quite evident, it won’t take you long to realize you’ve been raised by a toxic mother if she physically abused you. However, recognizing emotional and mental abuse is not that easy. Dealing with abuse (physical, emotional, mental) can make you develop various mental health issues.

That’s All Folks!

I hope you found this blog about signs you’ve been raised by a toxic mother helpful, informative, and thought-provoking. Knowing the signs of a toxic mother can help you answer a lot of questions about your adult life issues. It can also help you be a better parent because you know what you shouldn’t be doing.

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.

About The Author

Kirti Bhati
Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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