Do I have Trust Issues? Signs That Show You Have Trust Issues!
“Talking about trust, I was betrayed by the first love of my life. We were in a long-distance relationship, as he went abroad for further studies. After moving there, he never replied on time and he never took my calls on time. I started missing him so much that, one day I decided to surprise him by buying air tickets. The moment I reached there, I could not wait for him to come home.
So, I went to his college to surprise him. I saw him with another girl. And, literally, I was so shattered and without even meeting him, I just came back. After this instance, I stopped talking to him and tried to move on.
Also Read: Learning To Trust After Betrayal: Trust But Verify
As time passed, I could move on, and I stopped missing him, but one thing that stayed for years was trust issues. I stopped trusting people. I stopped vibing with people as I believed that everyone was going to betray me as he did!”
This was shared with us by one of our anonymous readers. After reading this and many other similar stories shared with us, I found that the trust issue is a growing concern these days. I also discussed this with our certified mental health expert and found that trust issues are manifested by manipulation, betrayal, and abandonment.
Trust is the foundation of many, if not all, relationships we have in life. With our parents, partners, colleagues, friends, and even doctors. Trust issues in relationships normally arise when we feel betrayed by someone we trusted.
Other times, trust issues can be developed when we experience a traumatic event or when someone is diagnosed with or experiences symptoms of paranoia or paranoid personality disorder.
Why Do People Have Trust Issues?
We all know that maintaining trust is like holding a fragile thread in our hands. Stretch it too much without care and it’ll snap. Handle it too carelessly and you’ll lose the hold on it. Trust is a fragile thing and can be destroyed easily.
Meanwhile, people who have trust issues often have experienced something negative in the past either due to organizations or individuals who seemed trustworthy initially. Did you know that some studies show that kids of divorced parents are likely to have commitment, intimacy, and trust issues in relationships?
Moreover, trust issues can be developed from negative experiences caused by social rejection, early childhood abuse, or traumatic experiences. Even betrayal or infidelity can also cause trust issues in your life. Financial loss or perceived injustice can also cause strong feelings of mistrust in people.
To put it in a nutshell, when you feel violated or abused, it affects you mentally which causes trust issues in relationships.
Well, seems like trust issues are always developed because of some reason. However, while discussing trust issues with colleagues and mental health experts, someone asked,
“Why do I have trust issues for no reason”?
Well, to know this, let’s understand signs of trust issues first!
This blog is a one-stop platform to help you with trust issues. I’ve included signs of a person with trust issues along with what causes trust issues, and tips for how to get over trust issues in a relationship.
So, let’s get started.
8 Common Signs Of Trust Issues:
1. You Can Sense Betrayal
You always assume that someone will betray you or you don’t trust even when the person is providing you with rightful reasoning.
2. You Are Awaiting Betrayal
You always assume that you will be betrayed because of some past instances. Even, if they have changed, your mind is still not ready to believe them.
3. You carry an over-protective personality
You are overprotective of your family, loved ones and friends. And, you don’t trust them because you’re scared of losing them.
4. You Are Better At Distance From People
After someone’s betrayal, you believe that you are better off alone and you try your best at limiting your relationship with people in the fear of abandonment or betrayal.
5. You Are Scared of Commitments
No matter how much you’re in love with someone, you still refuse to commit to the relationship because of abandonment and trust issues.
6. You Don’t Forget And Forgive Easily
You don’t forget and forgive easily even when trust issues are minimal.
7. You Are Always In Cautious Mode
Every time you meet someone or interact with someone, it puts you in a cautious or suspicious mode.
8. You Often Feel Depressed or Lonely
Due to the fear of abandonment and betrayal, you isolate yourself which often results in depression and loneliness.
What Causes Trust Issues?
Trust issues take place from early interactions and life experiences. Such negative experiences take place in childhood or early adulthood. If someone is abused, mistreated, or violated, it can also lead to the development of trust issues. All these things lead to difficulty in trusting as a teenager or adult.
Moreover, social rejection also causes trust issues. Some teens or adults, when experiencing, bullying by peers or mated, can also feel their trust is broken, which negatively influences their mental health and result in trust issues. It not only results in trust issues but also impacts self-esteem.
Self-esteem also plays an important role in building trust. Reports show that people with high self-esteem are self-assured and less likely to experience trust issues.
Here are some examples of trust issues in relationships that I hope you’ll be able to relate to;
You were working hard on a project at work and tell a coworker about your ideas in confidence, but when the big day of presentation comes, you find that the idea you had for the project is used by the same coworker you trusted. Your coworker took the credit for your ideas and got praised for it. This kind of interaction in a work environment can leave you feeling betrayed, giving rise to trust issues in the workplace.
Another example of trust issue ; You trusted a friend with an important issue, one close to your heart. You thought that telling a close friend about your issues will help lighten your burden, but then a few days later, you come to know that the same friend told all their friends about your issues, leaving your trust violated. This kind of betrayal might leave you feeling bitter and hesitant to trust another friend with your private issues.
How to Get Over Trust Issues In a Relationship?
If you feel like your trust issues are causing conflicts in your relationship or if you simply want to get over your trust issues in a relationship, surely it’s high time for revisiting the basics of trust in a relationship.
You can also take the help of these below steps to let go of your trust issues.
1. Learn to trust again by accepting the risks
We are all flawed, we all have imperfections, and we all sometimes let others down even when we try harder not to! Therefore, try to understand others’ feelings, try building trust, and do
2. Learn the working of trust
I completely understand that trust does not build easily and it does not come freely. But, understand that sometimes it is worth waiting and trusting in your loved ones.
3. Prepare your mind for taking emotional risks
It’s OK to allow yourself to take emotional risks because sometimes they are worth it. Take your time but allow yourself to take all those emotional risks and be vulnerable towards commitments and creating healthy relationships.
4. Face your demons and build trust around them
It’s okay to feel like this, but the question is how long you’re going to feel like this? Therefore, take your first step and try to face your trust issues. Fight with your demons, accept people and relationships, and try to move on.
5. Affirmation: Try, and Trust!
You’re scared of what if someone will betray you again? But, have you ever thought “What if someone stays, proves loyalty, does not leave you, and loves you for who you are?” This can happen by overcoming your trust issues. Therefore, keep trying and keep trusting! Keep putting in your efforts. It’s all about trying and trusting your instincts.
6. Seek Professional Help
If you’re still unable to get over your trust issues or don’t know what to do when you have trust issues for no reason, seeking professional help will help you in evolving through your relationships. If you need help and support, try to reach out to a professional therapist. A therapist can help you explore the causes of your trust issues and give you healthy coping strategies to overcome those trust issues in a relationship.
To Connect with a Certified and Experienced Counselor.
Quotes for Building Trust in your Relationship:
1. “He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.” – Lao Tzu
2. “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” – George MacDonald
3. “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”- Maya Angelou
4. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” – Albert Einstein
5. “It’s good to trust others but, not doing so is much better.” – Benito Mussolini
6. “Fear leads to more fear, and trust leads to more trust.” – Dean Ornish
7. “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.” – Abraham Lincoln
8. “Trust dies but mistrust blossoms.” – Sophocles
9. “You can’t trust anybody with power.” – New Gingrich
10. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey
11. “In this world, there was nothing scarier than trusting someone. But there was also nothing more rewarding.” – Brad Meltzer
12. “Quit questioning God and start trusting him.” – Joel Osteen
13. “Trust is not an obsession; it’s an extension of love. When we truly love someone, we give them our heart to hold in their hands. And when that love is returned, that very trust is a balm to our souls.” – Jullie Lessman
14. “You must train your intuition- you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.” – Ingrid Bergman
15. “People that have trust issues only need to look in the mirror. There they will meet the one person that will betray them the most.” – Shannon L. Adler
I hope this blog helps you to get over trust issues in your relationship. Comment down and share your insights on overcoming and handling trust issues in relationships. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.
Thanks for reading!
More power to you.