Learning To Trust After Betrayal: Trust But Verify

Last Update on October 7, 2020 : Published on October 2, 2020
Learning to trust yourself after betrayal

One of the biggest side effects of betrayal is “trust.” After being betrayed by someone you love or adore makes you uncertain about other people as well. It makes you so sick that you also start being afraid of trusting your own decisions and instincts.

However, sticking to the past and feeling of uncertainty does not make any of us better. Starting to rebuild trust again in you is the only solution to overcome such feelings of uncertainty and past.

But, where to start from is the common question I have heard from people struggling with betrayal. This blog tells you how to learn to trust after betrayal with a trust but verify button. So, let’s get started.

What does “Trust but Verify” mean?

trust but verify

Keeping it real simple, trust but verify means before trusting someone or something check all the facts and do your complete research so that it does not lead to betrayal or any misleading information.

Learning to trust after betrayal

1.Find the source of the betrayal

Find the source of the betrayal

The first thing you need to understand is that it was the past and everyone is not the same. However, this does not mean that your “trust but verify” button is not worthy here. Apply your “trust but verify” button everywhere and do some research. Find the source of betrayal, learn from your past, and do not let the same thing happen to you twice!

2.Let bygones be bygones

My grandmother always used to say, let bygones be bygones! One day I confronted her and said, “this looks easy but isn’t!” and in this reply, she explained to me that feeling of anger, resentment, and betrayal does harm to us only. Therefore, move towards self-help and let the past memories and instances swap away from your mind. And for the future, keep your “trust but verify” button always handy.

3.Rebuild trust

Rebuild trust

I know building trust is not an easy thing to do after facing a betrayal. But, give a chance to your life and start to build trust again in your partnership, relationship, or family. Rebuilding trust will allow you to be happy again and find inner peace with yourself. However, while building trust again make sure you always use the “trust but verify” button to avoid all the mess.

This process will set you on healing and moving on!

4.Questionnaire time

Before you start trusting someone again, always remind yourself to “trust but verify”. To follow the trust but verify process, start asking yourself some questions related to your situations, like:

  • Am I doing right?
  • Do I trust the right person?
  • Should I undergo the fact check?
  • Should I check before stepping into this relationship blindly?
  • Am I really ready for this?
  • Should I check this with my friends and family members?

Ask these questions with yourself and I bet you surely are not going to face betrayal again in your life.

5.Acknowledge but do not reflect

Acknowledge but do not reflect

I think this is really important to discuss, sometimes, betrayal makes us toxic as well and we try to hurt the feelings of others unintentionally who are being generous with us. This is completely wrong and we should not follow this trait.

As I said, let bygones be bygones but acknowledge all the facts and do not become so harsh on yourself or others while learning to trust after betrayal.

Brownie Tip: You can always look around to share your feelings with your loved ones. If not possible, try to talk it out with your therapist. I am sure that your therapist has all the answers related to all of this.

I hope this blog helps you to learn to trust after betrayal. Comment down and let us know your story of overcoming betrayal with us. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

More power to you.

You May Like These Also:

The Vicious Cycle Of Self-Betrayal

5 Handy Mantras For Instant Stress Relief

How To End A Toxic Friendship & Move On?

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".


  1. Chris Smith
    Chris Smith

    Trusting someone after a betrayal is difficult but when it comes to family, we had to!

  2. Mridula

    Being Mistrustful will not help at all and therefore one should learn to overcome it.

  3. Harshita Singh Chauhan
    Harshita Singh Chauhan

    I guess people need a lot of time and patience to trust again.

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