It’s Not You, It’s Your Relationship | 10 Signs Your Relationship Is Irreparable

Last Update on November 22, 2021 : Published on November 16, 2021

One of the most complicated yet wonderful things in the world has to be love. We all want to find the right person to spend our lives with and when we do, it’s meant to be perfectly imperfect (in a good way!)

However, many times, the love we find isn’t meant to last long and when we try to hang onto it, it can become bitter. When too much damage is done in a relationship, no matter how much you try or what you try, a relationship can be beyond repair.

But how do you figure that your relationship is irreparable? Can you fix the relationship when too much damage is done?

Unfortunately, some relationships can’t be salvaged, and often it’s hard to tell the signs. Below, I’ve listed 10 signs your relationship is beyond repair and what you should do.

10 Signs Your Relationship Is Beyond Repair

1. You Often Break Up & Get Back Together

You Often Break Up & Get Back Together

One way to know if your relationship is beyond repair is to notice a certain pattern. If you keep breaking up with your partner and then get back together, then it’s a sure sign that this relationship is beyond saving.

This roller coaster of emotions can mean that there are issues that can’t be resolved so you keep coming back together only to fall apart later. When this happens, it’s a sign your relationship is beyond repair.

2. You Fear Your Partner

When someone hurts you beyond repair, certain signs indicate that a relationship is beyond saving. For example, when their voice triggers your fear response, it’s a sign that your relationship is irreparable.

In a loving, healthy relationship your partner doesn’t trigger a fear response but in an unhealthy and toxic relationship, your partner constantly puts you down, manipulates you to a point where you begin to fear your partner.

3. Your Feelings Are No More

Your Feelings Are No More

It’s OK to feel apathy once in a while but if apathy has become a status quo in your relationship, then it’s a sign your relationship is beyond repair. If either of your basic attachment is no more, there’s no point in salvaging the relationship. Once the feelings you had for each other – love, trust, intimacy, safety – are gone, then it’s time to walk away.

4. Your Relationship Has Turned Toxic

Maybe when you started, your relationship was healthy and loving but with time, if you’ve noticed signs of manipulation or other red flags of a toxic relationship, then it’s time to say goodbye.

Listen to your gut, if it says you need to leave, then leave the relationship. In a relationship, no one should feel unsafe but if you are, then consider walking away.

5. Neither Of You Is Making Any Efforts

Neither Of You Is Making Any Efforts

If you feel that your relationship can be saved, it’s not enough. To save a relationship, both of the partners need to make an effort. If you or your partner is unwilling to make an effort, then I’m afraid that there is too much damage in a relationship and is beyond repair.

Both of you need to be willing to make a change and save a relationship but if the willingness is missing, then it’s time to consider breaking up.

6. Your Concerns Often Go Unheard

We all have concerns in a relationship when it comes to our unfulfilled emotional needs and when those needs aren’t fulfilled by our partners we might feel resentment towards them and experience loneliness in the relationship.

If you’ve discussed your emotional needs with your partner and if your concerns are often left unheard or dismissed, then it could be a sign your relationship is beyond saving.

7. Your Fights Are Becoming Uncontrolled

Your Fights Are Becoming Uncontrolled

Occasional fights and arguments are OK and even normal in a relationship – even in a healthy relationship but when your and your partner’s fights become uncontrollable and even frequent, then take it as a sign of your relationship being unsalvagable. If your fights have become emotionally and verbally abusive, then consider ending the relationship.

8. You’ve Stopped Spending Time With Your Partner

Spending time with our partner is all we want but it’s a sign of too much damage in a relationship when you stop making plans to spend time with your partner. If you find yourself making plans with everyone but your partner, then it’s time to consider breaking up.

9. You’re Thinking Of Having An Affair

You’re Thinking Of Having An Affair

If you’re at the point where you’re thinking of having an affair or cheating on your partner, it’s a sure sign your relationship is beyond repair. If you’re already thinking about an affair – physical or emotional – you’ve already emotionally checked out of the relationship and it’s beyond saving at this point.

10. You Don’t Trust Your Partner Anymore

In a relationship, you go through the highs and lows of life with your partner but when you begin to question your partner’s reliability and trust, it’s a sign your relationship is beyond repair. It’s the ugly truth that you need to accept. A relationship is based on trust and respect and once you lose that, there is no saving the relationship.

What To Do Next?

What To Do Next

While these signs can be negative and can make one worry, they need not signal the end of a relationship. There are ways you can fix the issues and make the relationship work. With the help of a couples counselor, you can bridge the gap. But if the signs continue after your counseling, then it’s better to end the relationship.

Sometimes the root cause of a poor relationship can be miscommunication, poor resolution conflict skills, and poor understanding of one another.

You can find couples counseling here or you can connect with us at

Book Your Appointment Here

Writer’s Thoughts

It’s important to note that every relationship is unique and has different ways to resolve conflicts. What constitutes a deal-breaker to you might not feel like a deal-breaker to another. Apart from abuse – mental, emotional, verbal, or physical -, many issues can be resolved with a professional counselor’s help, time, and dedication.

If you’ve put in the work, time, and dedication to repair your relationship but you’re still facing the same conflicts and issues, then it’s time to move on and accept that your relationship is beyond repair.

I hope this article helps you understand the signs your relationship is beyond repair and what you can do next. To connect with us you can follow us on social media.

What do you consider a deal-breaker in a relationship? Let me know in the comments below!

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.


  1. Sally

    This was very very helpful to me l appreciate thank thank u

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