10 Signs Of A Toxic Relationship That You Should Know!
Everyone desires a good and healthy relationship in life as they make you happy, respected, and secure. But not everyone is that lucky to have blissful relationships, there are many people who are feeling drained, disrespected or even depleted.
There is really a thin line between toxic and unhealthy relationships. You can’t expect a bed of roses every time. There might be fights, arguments, disapproval and so and that doesn’t mean that you are into a toxic relationship. To help you with that, I am sharing some common signs that will help to identify in which relationship you are in.
But before I talk about the signs of a toxic person in a relationship, let’s take a look at what a toxic relationship is.
What Is A Toxic Relationship?
When, in a relationship, instead of feeling supported, understood, and respected, you feel the opposite. A toxic relationship is when your partner demeans you or makes you feel uncomfortable enough to feel scared.
Toxic traits in a relationship can leave you feeling threatened emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
In a healthy relationship, your self-esteem and your emotional energy thrive but a toxic relationship can deteriorate your self-esteem and can make you doubt your self-worth. In a toxic relationship, you don’t feel safe and secure and constantly feel a lack of control.
Let’s take a look at signs of a toxic relationship and what can you do when you want to end a toxic relationship.
Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
1. You Make All The Compromises
If you’re the only one making the necessary changes or compromises, then it is a big sign of a toxic relationship. You need to understand that you are enough and giving more than you can to a relationship where the other person is not doing the giving can be unhealthy.
2. There Are No Efforts
Relationships are a two-way street and it means efforts from both of you. If you’re the only giver in this relationship then it is not healthy. Sure, your privacy, your space matters but too much or too little is not okay either. When your partner is making no effort to spend time with you or share things that matter to them with you, then it can be a sign of a toxic relationship.
3. There Is Jealousy In The Relationship
If your partner is having trouble with you hanging out with others or spending time with their friends, and if there is jealousy of any kind in the relationship, it is another sign you’re in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Why? A jealous partner will be over-possessive and will monitor your actions closely. This kind of behavior can make you feel uncomfortable and can take away your right to privacy.
4. They Play The Blame Game
Is your partner blaming you for the mistakes or failures they make? Is your partner refusing to take responsibility for their actions? Another red flag! If your partner is blaming you – or others even – for their misdeeds, then it’s a sign of unhealthy behavior in a relationship. Relationships are about owning up to your mistakes and admitting when you’re wrong, not pointing fingers at others when things go wrong.
5. There Is An Imbalance Of Power
Ask yourself, who is the dominant one in this relationship? If you’re answering this question with anything but equality, then it’s another sign of a toxic relationship. Relationships are about having an equal say in all the decisions you and your partner make. If either of you has more power over the other or if there is any kind of imbalance in your dynamic, then it is not a very healthy relationship.
6. There Are No Positive Feeling For The Future
This is a serious issue because whenever we are in a serious commitment we think of the future, we think about getting old together. But in a toxic relationship, nothing seems so right because you are not sure about your future. If you are already in such a relationship, it’s time to rethink your relationship.
7. There Is ABUSE!
If your partner is abusing you verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically, then you’re caught up with the wrong person or an abuser. Love means compassion, trust, loyalty, and a lot of respect but if they can’t respect you, then it’s time to think about your relationship. There is no room for exploitation or harassment in a happy and healthy relationship.
8. There Is Endless Drama
Criticism, judgment, arguments – if any of these are familiar to you and your relationship, it’s another sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Constructive criticism is okay but if the criticism is turning into a dramatic situation, then it is not okay. Time to rethink your relationship!
9. You Feel Drained All The Time
If your relationship is draining your energy, mental, emotional, and physical, then it can be another sign of a toxic relationship. Toxicity in a relationship can make you feel tired and exhausted all the time. If you’re always feeling drained and mentally depleted, then please rethink your relationship status, now!
10. Your Family & Friends Are Concerned
Another sign of a toxic relationship is when your near and dear ones are always concerned for your emotional and physical welfare. They might even come to you and say things like, “Why are they behaving like this with you?”. It’s okay! Remember, their concern is coming out of love. Before you get all defensive, pause, and ask “What makes you say that?” or “What made you feel that way?”
If you can relate to the above signs of a toxic relationship, you might be wondering about your next steps now, right? Let me help you here! Below listed are ways you can handle a toxic relationship
What to Do if You’re in a Toxic Relationship?
1. Understand The Nature Of The Relationship
If you’re in a toxic relationship then you need to understand what this relationship is costing you. When your needs aren’t met, be assertive and talk to your partner about it. Re-evaluate your relationship and understand how being in this relationship is hurting your self-esteem and overall mental health.
2. Stop Blaming Each Other
Instead of blaming each other for any mistakes or misunderstandings, try to understand the other’s perspective. For example, instead of blaming your partner, try saying, “I think we had a misunderstanding, let’s start over.” or “I know you’re stressed, how can we work on helping you?”
3. Set Boundaries Where Needed
Boundaries sure are the most important aspect when it comes to dealing with any kind of toxic relationship. There are just some things where boundaries are needed, even with your beloved. If you have set boundaries and if the said boundaries are disrespected, then it’s time to revisit them and share them with your partner.
4. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes ending a toxic relationship is for the best but if you’ve decided to give your relationship another chance, then seeking professional help (individual or couples counseling) can help. Professional help can help address the issues causing you distress and how to walk away from the toxicity. A couples therapist can also help you resolve conflict and help set boundaries in the relationship.
5. Don’t Stick With The Past
When it comes to handling a toxic relationship, mending the past can play a huge role but the past should be taken as an example, not a permanent addition to your current situation. Moving on and mending the past is key, not dwelling on it. If you stick with the past, then you won’t be able to heal and move ahead in the relationship.
6. If Nothing Helps, Walk Away
If your partner is unwilling to change or end the toxic relationship, then maybe it’s time for you to leave the toxic relationship. If you’re being abused – physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually – then it is strictly recommended that you contact a domestic violence helpline. If you don’t feel safe breaking up with your partner, bring a friend along with you.
If you or someone you know are experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please immediately contact these helpline numbers:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799−7233
- SAMHSA Helpline – 1-800-622-4357
- National Sexual Assault Hotline – 1-800-656-4673
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Leaving A Toxic Relationship Is Hard, But
If your relationship has turned toxic then it’s time to reconsider; Do you want to stay and change your relationship or do you want to leave? In any case, the first thing you need to do is think emotionally about how you can deal with your toxic relationship.
Look for patterns and triggers. Become more mindful of your and your partner’s actions. Never, for once, believe that you are insignificant or less-than. You are strong, you are enough, and you are amazing as you are!
Learn to set healthy boundaries and if you’re still struggling, then ask for help. Seeking professional counseling from a couples therapist can be helpful too! You can connect with a licensed therapist here.
Have you ever been into a toxic relationship? Let us know your signs and how you recognized the toxic behavior pattern in the comments below. I hope this article on understanding the signs of a toxic relationship helps you.
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Why do you assume that the partner bringing toxicity in the relationship will be a male? That doesn't sound fair to men!!