The 10+ Biggest Relationship Deal Breakers & Red-Flags You Should Never Ignore!

Last Update on August 1, 2022 : Published on July 27, 2021
Biggest Relationship Deal Breakers

When we consider a new relationship with a new partner, there are things we wish for, right? But do you consider the relationship deal breakers?

A deal-breaker in a relationship is a factor you need to consider when deciding whether to throw in the towel or keep going with the relationship, so to speak. Kind of difficult to decide the fate of your relationship based on small factors such as a lack of humor or the way your partner treats you, right?

But, mind you! These little factors, or rather the deal-breakers are important to consider in a relationship, regardless of their status. If your partner is controlling or hurtful, then knowing that pretty early in the relationship can save you from a lot of mental, physical, and emotional anguish.

Everyone has a different list of things they consider deal-breakers in a relationship. Below is a list of some common relationship deal breakers you should consider and never ignore!

14 Top Relationship Deal Breakers List

1. Your Relationship Is Abusive

All relationships are about trust, respect, and love. If there is the slightest chance of abuse in the relationship – physical, emotional, or even verbal – consider it the biggest deal-breaker in the relationship.

Many people convince themselves that the behavior their partner dishes out is something they deserve. Not true! Everyone deserves a healthy and happy relationship without looking over one’s shoulder for abuse.

2. Your Relationship Is A Secret

This deal-breaker is a major concern and should not be ignored. Many couples, especially LGBTQ+ couples, face this issue. Many LGBTQ+ people are afraid of coming out and the fear of rejection makes them keep their relationship a secret from others.

However, if you’re in a relationship regardless of your orientation, and you are being kept a secret, consider that a deal-breaker. You are important and your time is precious. If your partner is not respectful of that, then it’s better to walk away than face heartbreak later on.

3. Your Partner Cancels Plans Regularly

Spontaneity in a relationship is great but when that spontaneity comes at the cost of your emotional health, it is not okay. If your partner is constantly canceling plans with you at the last minute, consider it a deal-breaker.

This can be a sign that your time, plans, and interest is not respected by your partner. If your partner truly respects and loves you, they will make time for you.

4. Your Partner Is Cheating On You

Cheating or infidelity is one of the biggest deal-breakers in a relationship and should never be forgiven. If a partner cannot be faithful to you, then you should consider reevaluating your relationship. Trust and respect are synonymous when it comes to relationships.

If your trust is broken, then it can not only hurt you emotionally but can also increase the risk of depression, sexually transmitted diseases, embarrassment, and other scars. Walk away if your partner is cheating on you.

5. You Argue About Finances

Money or how you deal with finances can make or break a relationship. If finances are causing arguments in your relationship, then it can be a deal-breaker for many. A sensitive issue such as finances should be taken into consideration very seriously.

If money is one of the big reasons you are constantly arguing with your partner and vice-versa, reconsider your relationship as it can be a deal-breaker.

6. Your Partner Invalidates Your Emotions

Being caught up in an argument is common and when we are angry we may say harsh words that may hurt us or our partner. However, if your partner does the following during an argument, consider it a red flag:

  • Bring up past hurts
  • Calls you disrespectful names
  • Gaslights you
  • Make comments about you instead of addressing the problem
  • Gives the silent treatment

If your relationship constitutes of the above, walk away. This behavior can turn into a toxic relationship if ignored for long.

7. Thinking About Your Relationship Gives You Anxiety

If thinking about your relationship is giving you bad vibes or anxious feelings, then it can be a pretty big red flag too. If being with your partner is feeling wrong to you or if being with them makes you question your worth, then it is time to reconsider your relationship.

Trusting your gut instincts is important and when your gut is screaming “Danger, Danger, Danger!” – listen to it.

8. You Are Never On The Same Page

You want kids, your partner doesn’t? Do you want to move on to the next stage but your partner is hesitant? It can be a deal-breaker too! Even if you love each other but are not on the same page, then love might not save your relationship.

Even if you get along well and your relationship is healthy, it won’t work out in the long run if your goals and dreams of the future are different than your partner’s. If you keep ignoring this deal-breaker

9. Your Partner Is Selfish

Being selfish from time to time is okay but when selfishness is there in a relationship – not okay! If you’re spending time with your partner on their insistence but they refuse or ignore spending time with you on your terms, it is a big red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

Relationships are about ‘give and take’ but if your partner is doing all the ‘taking’ and refusing to give equally in return, it is a big deal-breaker.

10. Your Partner Is Always Jealous

Whether it be about your ex, a friend, a co-worker, or even your job – jealousy in a relationship is never okay nor is it healthy. Jealousy is healthy when a couple inspires to treat each other better but it is not healthy when that drives a wedge between you and your partner.

If, in your relationship, there is jealousy and not the healthy kind, then reevaluate your relationship or walk away. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and can lead to toxic or abusive relationships in the future.

11. You Don’t Have Similar Values

Opposites attract – but not all the time! If you’re passionate about one thing but your partner is not respecting your values and beliefs, then it is one of the biggest deal-breakers in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has different values than yours, talk to them.

If they continue to ignore your values and beliefs, it is better to walk away than stay in a relationship where you aren’t respected.

12. Your Partner Lacks Ambition

Another red flag in a relationship is a lack of ambition. If you’re with someone, you must be able to share your future goals and dreams with them and hear theirs in return. If they are without any plans, goals, or are lacking the determination to do great things, then it could be a deal-breaker in a relationship.

13. You’re Always Arguing

Arguments and disagreements are common in a relationship but if it seems that you’re constantly arguing or fighting with your partner over the smallest things, it is a red flag you need to consider in your relationship.

Communication means everything in a happy and successful relationship. In a relationship, new or old, you must be willing to air out your conflicts in a healthy manner.

14. Your Partner Refuses To Seek Help

If your partner is struggling with an addiction disorder or any other mental or behavioral health disorder and is refusing to seek professional help, it can be a relationship deal-breaker too.

While it is important to stick beside your partner through thick and thin, it is important to step back and reevaluate your relationship when your partner refuses to address their problem.

Final Thoughts

Relationships are always complicated and spending your precious time and energy on someone who probably doesn’t deserve it is not healthy. If your partner or relationship shows the above red flags, it is time for you to make a decision – whether to continue living in a toxic relationship or to break free.

Do what is best for you! If you need professional help, feel free to consult a couples counselor. Read here to know how to prepare for couples counseling.

I hope this article helped you understand the top relationship deal breakers and red flags you should never ignore. For more, follow us on social media or write to us at

Like this article? Or think we missed a deal-breaker in a relationship you consider important? Let us know in the comments below! We’re always happy to hear from you!

Be Happy! Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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