Do You Seek Others’ Approval? Here Are 10 Ways You Can Stop Seeking Validation From Others

Last Update on September 30, 2021 : Published on August 22, 2021
Stop Seeking Validation From Others

It is only reasonable to share your opinions, ideas, achievements, and accomplishments with others, right? Whether we get 200+ likes on Instagram or a simple pat on the back from our mentors, this kind of validation can help boost our confidence, right?

But What Exactly Is Validation?

The desire to seek others’ approval or agreement with your ideas, views, and opinions, is validation. I have said this in many of my previous articles, humans are social creatures, we thrive in society and we seek a sense of belonging.

While it is quite normal behavior for us to seek other’s validation, sometimes, this need can cause us to base all our decisions, solely on the approval of others. For example; making a decision and asking all your friends,

 “Is this a good idea? Should I do it?”

You know it’s a good idea but yet you seek the approval of others. I agree that valuing others’ opinions is a wonderful trait but when this need begins to shift our perspective and when we start to rely on external validation rather than our intuition, then we need to change.

Below are some effective ways you can stop seeking validation from others and how to thrive on your own support and intuition.

10 Ways To Stop Seeking Validation From Others

Second-guessing yourself and your decision can make you lose confidence in your abilities. Constantly seeking validation from others can also make you lose trust in yourself.

Thankfully, there are ways with which you can stop seeking validation:

1. Quiet Your Inner Mean Voice

Your worst enemy can be yourself. If you are critical and judgmental of yourself, you’ll never gain confidence and you’ll always scramble to seek validation from others. To stop this, you need to quiet your inner critic. Replace your mean and negative self with positive self-talk.

2. Be Around Good People

The need for validation arises when you’re surrounded by people who do not have your back. People who leave you feeling insecure about yourself are the ones you need to steer clear of. Keep one person (at least) in your social circle who always motivates and encourages you to be your best.

3. Make A List Of Your Fears

What are you afraid of? Public-speaking? Social interaction? Make a list. Once you’ve written down your fears, take a step to confront them. You will gain confidence in yourself and your abilities once you master control over your fears. No more will you require validation from others.

4. Make A List Of Your Accomplishments

When you’ve written a list of your fears, it’s okay to list your accomplishments now! Another way of boosting self-confidence is to write your accomplishments – big or small. This will help you see that you’re doing great on your own and probably don’t need others’ approval.

5. Step Away From Social Media

Social media is one of the most populated platforms where we go to seek validation. To stop and change your habit of seeking approval, take a break from social media. This overstimulation by social media can wreak havoc on your self-worth and confidence.

Step away from this toxic habit.

6. Think Before You Speak

If your need to seek validation is becoming a habit, think before you speak. Check-in with yourself first. Do you need others’ approval? Does their voice matter in this? This pause you will take will help you understand your need to seek approval and build confidence in your decisions.

7. Do Not Compare Yourself With Others

You’ll always get it wrong. Who you are is different from what others are. Instead of comparing your worth with your family, friends, or coworkers, accept yourself for who you are. You are unique and different – maybe better than others. Practice becoming the best version of yourself.

8. Mistakes Are Good

Always! You learn from your mistakes, after all. Try new things, take a step out of your comfort zone. Learning from what you did wrong will help you correct your mistakes in the future. Remember, success comes from failing. Accept your mistakes and learn from them.

9. Become Self-Aware

Knowing what makes you awesome is the key! Ask yourself; what makes you happy? What makes you – you? Increasing your self-esteem and confidence comes from becoming self-aware of your positive traits.

10. Be Nice To Yourself

It takes a lot of self-care to let go of bad habits and be kind to yourself but that’s what you need. You don’t need the words of others to feel good about yourself. Stay positive and say positive things about yourself as you would expect others to say.

Building confidence is not easy but with time, effort, and patience, you can rebuild your confidence and stop second-guessing yourself at every turn. If you’re still struggling with self-validation, you can connect with a counselor and seek their help.

To Check the best online therapist click here. You can also write to us at or DM us on social media for more!

I hope this article helped you learn how to stop seeking validation from others and thrive on your own support and approval! Feel free to let us know your thoughts on this blog in the comments section below!

We’re always happy to hear from you!

Be Kind & Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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