Inner Talk For Peace Of Mind: 15 Phrases To Say When You Talk To Yourself

Last Update on January 25, 2022 : Published on January 23, 2022
what to say when talking to self

You’re all set to give the biggest presentation of your career, or all ready to appear for that big test but then your inner voice keeps criticizing you and your efforts and soon you feel your confidence dropping.

Let me tell you, our inner talk or self-talk is one of the most criticizing yet motivational speakers we can ever have. I remember when I started my first job, I was scared that I would not be good at it or that I was going to fail and let down my students. But I noticed the difference in my confidence when I subtly changed my inner talk.

From, “I’m going to let down others”, I went to, “Even if I make a mistake, I’m still learning” and trust me, phrasing my worries made a huge difference.

That’s the power of positive self-talk that we need to understand and learn. Words leave a greater impact on our minds and hearts than we think, especially if those words come from yourself.

Here, I’ll explain to you how practicing positive self-talk is important for our wellness and what to say when you talk to yourself.

The Power Of Inner Talk

Inner talk more commonly referred to as self-talk is our internal dialogue that occurs naturally when we’re consciously focusing on something. Self-talk is mostly about our deepest thoughts, beliefs, and ideas.

The way we talk to others matters a lot, right? But what many people fail to realize is that the way you talk to yourself matters a lot too. Why? Because inner talk or self-talk directly impacts the way we feel and think about ourselves and how we see ourselves in others’ eyes.

Like I said before, our inner voice can be our harshest critic or it can be our beloved motivator. How you talk to yourself can increase your chances of success and can boost your confidence. Not only this but the way we self-talk can help us understand our emotions and ourselves better.

How Does Our Inner Talk develop?

practice Self-Talk

The question remains; why do we talk to ourselves the way we do? Most of our thinking and the way we perceive ourselves develop when we are kids. The way our self-talk develops depends highly on our upbringing.

When a child is raised in a supportive and positive environment, they learn to think kindly. But a child that grows up in a toxic environment and is raised to never express their thoughts, develops negative self-talk.

Secondly, the society we live in also influences our thinking and our perceptions. Society has set unspoken rules on how one should behave, talk, and even dress. No matter how stern or unfair these set standards are, we still follow them because we want to be validated, we want to belong. And if you fail to reach these set standards, you immediately criticize yourself. Hence, negative inner voice.

I’ve had people tell me when I was young to have more positive thoughts and less negative ones but years later I realized that classifying our thoughts as “positive” and “negative” is causing us to look down on our thoughts or emotions.

You can’t dismiss negative thoughts. Not all negative thoughts are wrong. It all comes down to how you process those thoughts and express them to yourself. The point is not to develop or practice positive self-talk, the point is to develop and practice kinder self-talk.

If you fail, forgive yourself. If you make a mistake, be less critical. Accept your negative thoughts but don’t let them interfere with your inner talk.

Let’s take a look at what to say when you talk to yourself.

What To Say When Talking To Yourself?

Here are 15 phrases that you can use when talking to yourself:

1. “I believe in myself”

There will come a time when you’ll fail or make mistakes but this does not mean that you should stay like that. When talking to yourself, remember that you believe in yourself. You can overcome hurdles and any challenges you might face.

2. “I’m in control of my life”

You may not be able to control your stressors or worries but you can control how your life will be affected by dwelling too much on them. Remind yourself that you’re in control of your reactions if not everything that causes the reaction.

3. “I have the power to change my mind”

Feeling disappointed when you fail is easy or maybe you’re thinking that others will feel let down if you change your mind. Tell yourself that you have the power to change your mind and that others will understand.

4. “I’m proud of myself”

If you fall or make a mistake, tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself because you tried. Trying something new takes courage and you did. You deserve to be proud of yourself!

5. “I’m capable and strong”

There may come a time when you’ll feel dejected and wonder why you keep trying if you’re going to fail but during those times remind yourself that you’re strong and capable of fighting and overcoming challenges.

6. “It’s okay to lose sometimes”

If you lose the competition you’ve been preparing for weeks, instead of feeling failure, tell yourself that it’s okay to lose and use this opportunity to get better.

7. “I’m always learning and growing”

If you don’t try, how would you know if you’re bad at it or not? Instead of judging yourself and fearing a new challenge, tell yourself that this is a great opportunity to learn and grow.

8. “I can try to make this work”

When a tough situation arises, maybe your mind tells you to give up. Instead of listening to it, tell yourself that you can at least try to make this work. If you fail, you’ll know you gave your all and learn. Hey, at least you tried!

9. “I’ll follow my instincts”

Your instincts are seldom wrong so remind yourself to follow your instincts. Listen to your instincts and remind yourself that while others may not agree with you, it’s your choice.

10. “I deserve so much”

Many times you may think that what you get is the best you deserve but remind yourself that you deserve much better. You should never settle for less. Keep aiming higher.

11. “I can and will speak up”

If something matters to you, speak up. No one can stop you from speaking up so tell yourself to express your views when needed. Keeping silent will not help you.

12. “I’m grateful”

When you’re feeling down, tell yourself that you’re grateful for what you have and the people you have near you. You can always find something to be grateful for near you. Look for them!

Also Read: 3 Ways On How To Be Grateful In Life (And Be Happy)

13. “I can let go of my pain”

When talking to yourself, remind yourself that you can let go of the things that are hurting you or bringing negativity into your life. It might be scary but there are better days ahead.

14. “I’m important”

No matter how others react or what they say, you’re important to yourself. You’re valid and needed. No one can call you inferior or demean you other than yourself. So keep when talking to yourself, always remind yourself that you are important.

15. “I’m always making a difference”

Always remember that even if you can’t see the changes or the difference you’re making, you can rest assured that you are. Small changes count as a win too!

Self-talk isn’t exaggerating your skills or abilities, rather kinder self-talk can be quite empowering. When you self-talk, you don’t always have to focus on the positive and ignore the negative. Optimism is appreciated but you can’t always ignore the facts and the reality.

You should avoid focusing on your mistakes and failures but never ignore the lessons they teach you. You should avoid being too self-critical but never ignore self-analysis, either.

If you need, you can even change the inner voice. For example, if your inner voice sounds like you but meaner, then you can try to imagine the inner voice as the voice of your favorite cartoon character, a fictional character, or even your favorite celebrity. For me, when it comes to my inner voice, I prefer the calm yet motivating voice of Morgan Freeman.

Well, however you voice your inner dialogue, remember there’s no potential downside of practicing positive self-talk. Try to be kind to yourself and talk to yourself as you would a loved one.

If you’re having trouble changing your inner voice, you can connect with a therapist or a mental health counselor for help. You can also write to us at for help.

How’s your inner talk? What do you say when talking to yourself? Let us know in the comments below!

Take care.

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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