Why Can’t I Make Friends? What Is The Impact Of Having No Friends On Our Mental Health?

Last Update on January 17, 2022 : Published on January 14, 2022
Why can't I make friends

Having friends in your life is very, very essential to lead a happy and healthy life. Your friends are like an extended family that we happen to choose for ourselves. Some of us, unfortunately, find it really difficult to make friends on our own.

“Why can’t I make any friends?’ Is this question troubling you too? If you are among those people who can’t make friends easily, you have come to the right place.

We will be discussing all about why you can’t make friends and how having no friends at all impacts your mental health and I will also be sharing some tips for you to make friends easily.

Shall we begin?

Why Do I Struggle To Make New Friends?

Why Do I Struggle To Make New Friends

There can be various reasons behind you not being able to make any friends of your own. Tell me honestly, how many times have you felt like none of your friends understand you or you have no friends at all?

I think all of us might have been like this for a brief period of time at least once in our lives. Lack of friendship is a very, very common experience but most of us come out of it easily and quickly. Some of us remain stuck in this feeling for a very, very long time. This can be because;

1. Anxiety: some of us struggle with anxiety issues when it comes to meeting new people or initiating a conversation. These anxious thoughts may come from fear of rejection or being judged. People with social anxiety disorder also face difficulty in making friends.

2. High expectations: sometimes people take a lot of pressure to have a huge social group to maintain their social standard and popularity, in the pressure of increasing their circle they do not pay attention to building a relationship and end up having no meaningful friendships.

3. Avoidance approach: some people do not wish to take up the responsibility that comes with maintaining a meaningful friendship. So they choose to avoid being put in a spot where they have to bear the brunt of it all. Basically they avoid all opportunities they get to build a strong, healthy friendship.

4. Depression: depression is one of the leading causes of not being able to make friends. It is because nothing interests you anymore, you just feel like sitting in a dark corner where no one can see you. You build a strong wall around which no one can break unless you allow them to.

Does Having No Friends Impact Your Mental Health?

Does Having No Friends Impact Your Mental Health

We are social beings and we need people around us. We need love, attention, affection, and attachment. Basically, we all strive to achieve a sense of belongingness. It makes us feel like one of them and when that is taken away you definitely will face some mental health related consequences.

Here’s how your mental health is affected because of your difficulty in making friends…

Loneliness: “why can’t i make friends?” Most lonely people ask themselves this question. Have you wondered why? It’s not because loneliness makes it difficult for you to make friends. Your inability to make friends results in the loneliness that you are suffering from right now.

Loneliness most certainly is bad for your mental health! Click here to read more about chronic loneliness.

Isolation: not being able to make new friends can make you feel isolated from the rest of the world. This social isolation can pull you in the swamp of depression for some other mental health related disorder.

Read more about the impact of social isolation on your mental health right here!

Lack of feeling of belongingness: like i said before, we are all social beings and belongingness is nor feel we all strive for at all times. Not being able to make any friends can lessen the feeling of belongingness. A decrease in this feeling can foster stress and anxiety in your life.

Finding it difficult to make friends and leaving you with no friends. Having no friends can impact your mental health negatively. Therefore, it’s very important to make friends. If you can’t make friends easily, worry no more, here’s what you can do…

Tips For Making New Friends Easily When You Can’t Make Friends

Tips For Making New Friends Easily

I know it’s not easy for everyone to make friends at the snap of a finger. Some people are shy, some fear initiating a conversation and some simply wait for friendships to happen on their own.

Since we all know not having friends can have an adverse effect on our mental health, it’s important for all of us to learn how to make new friends on your own…

Here’s what you can do;

1. Have empathy, be kind to people around you. Your kindness can be the reason people automatically will want to be your friend.

2. Start socializing. Go out and be around your kind of people. Do you like books? Go to a library and find people with similar interests. Do you like sports? Go to a soccer game!

3. Do not refuse an invite for a social gathering unless you really have something else (constructive) in mind.

4. Learn the art of small talk. Even though they seem meaningless, they act as great icebreakers.

5. Be open and friendly. The vibe you carry is attacked by others. So if you really are carrying a friendly vibe, people will automatically be drawn to you. Basically, don’t build a wall so strong that no one can even see past it.

6. Don’t judge people too soon. Just like you, someone else must also have a shell that you will need to break to see who they really are.

7. Be curious about knowing people. Who they are, what culture they belong to, try to look for things that interest you in other people.


I can understand the struggle you are going through. ‘Why can’t I make any friends?’ is the loudest question that keeps pumping through your heart all day. Be gentle to yourself, don’t be afraid to step out.

Do you fear people judging you? Does it even matter what others think about you when you don’t even know them?

‘I have no friends!’ if you sit with this though all day, you will not be hurting yourself. So stop right there! The struggle to make friends will only be over if you take that leap of faith and step out and say hello!

That’s all on “why I can’t make friends”! Comment down below how you deal with not being able to make any friends and did it affect your mental health at all?

Thanks for reading

Step out and make friends!

About The Author

Kirti Bhati
Kirti Bhati

I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.

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