Quarantining With Your partner? 5 Simple Dos and Don’ts
SARS COV-2 or better known as Coronavirus has changed the way the world has been working, literally. More than half of the world’s population is currently under quarantine. Being quarantined and working from home can be one of the greatest wishes granted for introverts. However, being locked up in your house can be quite challenging and tough. It’s not always just human or societal interaction that we seek, but we also crave for that walk in the park or to the nearby cafe.
Even the people who are mentally tough and prepared can feel beaten, exhausted and longing for a human touch under this pressure of loneliness. The problem with people living with their partners is quite the opposite but can be more complicated. To people living alone, it may seem that being quarantined with a partner must be great and especially if it is a beloved. But is that true?
What are the issues?
When you are living alone, you need to deal with loneliness and also have to do chores all on your own, may seem a bit of work, but you are on your own. But when you are quarantined with your partner, everything increases by two-fold. Help increases but so does chores, there isn’t loneliness, but that is the scary fact, you are never alone. You won’t have any time, just for yourself. This lock-up may seem all good and a great time to spend together, but if you are not prepared enough, you can end up fighting, bickering, arguing, hence end up tensed, frustrated, and even hurt.
Though we are social animals and like to stay in a herd at the same time, we also love our independence and autonomy. But when we start living together, we cannot work or plan as we please. Everything should be in sync with the partner. And so begins the endless era of fights and senseless arguments, which may have some severe implications later on. So to avoid these, we need to bring a little change in our daily routine. Let me help you out about how you can. Here is a list of some dos and don’ts which you can refer to.
1. Do: Set some basic rules
Sit peacefully and discuss some basic rules which you will be following till you both are locked down. For example, don’t disturb her when she is enjoying her favourite shows, and she doesn’t get to disturb you when you are deep in your novels or vice versa. Don’t play loud music when you know she doesn’t like your choice and considers it a noisy disturbance, use headphones instead. Ask her to not talk on speakerphone loudly when you are meditating.
Don’t: Break these rules
Try not to break the rules as they will be the line of confidence and peace between you two. You must respect your partner’s request for personal space. You can also plan when to spend some time together, like watching a movie or playing video games and act accordingly.
2. Do: Meditate
It is one of the most critical steps. It would help if you spent some time with yourself too, and it doesn’t mean reading books, watching movies alone or any other activity. After practicing meditation strictly for some weeks in a row, you will feel its effects and how it keeps you calm and helps you maintain harmony between you two.
Don’t: Waste your time
You have got only some weeks of lockdown, maybe a couple of months. To survive at home for that long, you will have to work on yourself instead of wasting time. You can start by not taking your phone in the washroom. I know you do. It would help if you stopped doing things which drains your time, money and energy and makes you sluggish like binge eating, drinking and watching episodes.
3. Do: Communicate
You will find communication is the key for a peaceful day. Even if you have already planned your weekend, it doesn’t mean that it should have to go that way. Even after setting up some ground rules, you may feel like changing them. Go ahead and change but only after adequately communicating them to your partner. If the change in plans doesn’t bother your partner, then there is no stopping you.
Don’t: Stop Communication
I am not saying that you continue to speak all day long, but know when to speak up. If there is a change in plan, if you want to do something together, if you are facing some problems, if you need them, if you are hurt, if you are missing something: talk. Even though they want their time off, they won’t be at ease if you are struggling with something. After you have had the help, you can go back to what you were doing.
4. Do: Help
If it is her turn to do the dishes, but you got free from your office meeting early and have nothing to do on your hand at the moment, go on and help. Helping each other and easing each other’s work will help foster a healthy environment in the house. It will keep the vibes cheerful.
If you see some chore left pending, don’t ignore it. Try to help. And if you don’t feel like helping, try not to increase the burden on your partner by neglecting your own planned chores. If you have used the kitchen for some time, try to leave it clean and tidy instead of ignoring the mess that you created.
5. Do: Spend time together
In the end, you are living together and can’t just ignore each other. Even though you love spending time alone, try to spend time together as much as possible. You can fix some particular hours of the day to be together like you can enjoy your meals and movies together. You can reach out for help whenever you think he or she needs it.
Don’t: Leave the other person out
Try not to leave the other person out for long periods. You may be eased and ready to isolate yourself, but there is an excellent possibility that the other person isn’t. So if you are spending too much time alone, it may make the other person feel left out and may also think that you don’t want his or her company. So try to keep this in mind before you plan your day and week.
You may be living with family, friends, spouse or your lover. Quarantining with your partner can be tough. If you are not in sync with your people with whom you share your space with then, it may make the relationships bitter later on. So try to help each other and practice a lot of patience. You will be happy to look back at this time once the lockdown gets over.
Hope this helps. Do let us know your experience of following these tips in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading!