Emotional Stress Of Infertility: It’s Tough But Here’s How To Cope Up With It

Last Update on August 25, 2021 : Published on November 9, 2020
Emotional stress of infertility

Infertility could be emotionally traumatizing for both men as well as women. Dealing with infertility depression is as stressful as depression due to chronic pain or terminal illnesses, especially within women. Men at the same time face low self esteem, anxiety, depression and even sexual dysfunction.

This physical effect appears due to unexplained causes but leaves an imprint on mental and psychological health. The social pressure of having a kid is already present at one end,  emotional anxiety within the couple at another end makes them feel worthless. Moreover, feelings like inadequacy, emptiness or failure in life hunt the quality of interpersonal relationships.

Emotional & Psychological Impact Of Infertility

It has to be understood that people dealing with infertility are subjected to pressures inside as well as outside. The intimacy between two people starts feeling like a chore and overall peace within two people is lost. Moreover, the expenses of infertility treatment could be draining for wallets as well as feelings for each other.

If the couple identifies their emotions associated with emotional distress, they can find:


  • Feeling of inadequacy and failure
  • Guilt and loss
  • Fear of being judged in the society
  • Jealous and anger with other couples having kids
  • Loss of self esteem and self confidence
  • Shame in the society
  • Fear of being rejected or abandoned
  • Financial distress of expensive treatments
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If you and your partner are going through such feelings, you must sit and talk about them in detail. For example, whom do you need to explain if you cannot have a child or why there is guilt for something which is not under your control. The moment you start questioning and understanding each other rather than any negative thoughts, things may become easier for both as a couple.

 Coping With Infertility Stress

1. Pamper Yourself

You may be looking for treatments or already going through IVF, it is important to take care of your emotional and mental health. Experts suggest that you must distract yourself in other activities that bring relief within. Develop new hobbies, learn something new, exercise often, go out for dinner with friends or take a short break from routine cycle. If a break allows you to travel in nature laden locations, hit the spot. This pampering helps in dealing with infertility depression to a great extent.

Also Read: Best Self Care Activity Ideas for Mental Health 2020 [Updated]

2. Regulate Your Thoughts

There are so many stressful thoughts that cloud your mind and seeing others getting pregnant that can bag you down when coping with infertility. We agree that it’s a tough job but mindfulness could really help you during the phase. You can look for guided meditation and yoga classes which teaches you about how to leave those thoughts behind that you have no control on.

Also Read: Johari Window: Your Ultimate Tool For Building Self-Awareness

3. Gather Support For Yourself

When you explain your problem to someone else, everyone has a number of opinions to share. However, it is upto you to decide the kind of support group you really want to be with. There are a number of people who are going through fertility treatment and may need your company to borrow a shoulder. Help each other and comfort the subsequent feelings. In fact, you can find each other on various forums and have a conversation as liked.

4. Consider Meeting A Counselor Or A Therapist

You can meet a counselor or therapist individually or go as a couple, whatever suits you best. But make sure that they have a prior knowledge of infertility and know how to help you in making personal decisions. You may also be relieved to know that there are online support groups that let you voice your concerns and give you new learnings to have a peaceful life.

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5. Give Your Partner Space To Cope Up His/Her Way

Don’t expect your partner to react the way you do. One could be more devastated whereas others could not be. Every human being has its own process of recovery and let them have it their way. Your unrealistic expectations with each other would only make things worse for your relationship and hence needs to be inlined.


Be compassionate with your partner to cope with infertility stress as this challenge is not an easy process. Take small breaks in between your routine cycle and keep self care a priority. You can also consider keeping your family and trusted friends in loop so that they could bridge the gap of infertility with their love and support. Believe it or not, accepting infertility with your loved ones could still be easier.

Remember, this difficult time will pass. Your decision to try other IVF treatments, surrogacy, adopting a child or remaining childless could be taken with calm mind and relaxed hearts. So, consider meeting an expert counselor or joining a support group.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.

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