Self Love: How To Love Yourself Before Loving Others

Last Update on September 3, 2021 : Published on September 7, 2021
How to love yourself before loving others

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” –Lucille Ball

 If you are someone who wants to be loved but you are living a reckless and unpeaceful life, it’s time to rethink the way you are living. Before you invest yourself in someone else and wait for someone special to love you, love yourself first. I am sure that you have heard the concept of loving yourself first but this particular blog has much more to offer.

Honestly speaking, you cannot love yourself overnight or just by reading this blog. It’s a long term and wholesome process and doesn’t come with a certificate at the end either. Just like other relationships, your relationship with oneself also faces ups and downs but the good news is that your attitude towards yourself becomes the answer for the question, how to love yourself more.

Do You Need To Love Yourself Before Loving Someone Else?

Understand that loving yourself definitely makes it easier for you to love someone else. It is because you understand yourself much better than anyone and believe that you will certainly find someone. No rejection or annoying people can make you lose your hope. There is self-acceptance, a positive outlook and a free mind which knows that it’s alright to be alone and happy.

However, if you are not in love with yourself then your attitude is a bit different than the above. You become critical of yourself, find flaws within, keep a safe distance from others so that rejection could not be faced as well as hide your reality from the world. This is where fear, anxiety, and overwhelming emotions also pop up and you find it difficult to maintain relationships with others.

Now the question is if you need to love yourself more before loving someone else, know that everyone has their own struggles and you may not be able to love every aspect of yourself completely. But getting in a deeper relationship with yourself grows love and happiness with you as well as others surrounding you.

How To Love Yourself Before Loving Anyone Else?

If you are convinced that self love or loving yourself is necessary to love others as well as excel in numerous other fields, here are the ways to truly love yourself. Make sure you practice these steps frequently and experience a better version of yourself.

1. Show Kindness To Yourself

There might be emotional pain, disturbance inside you as well as multiple shortcomings with you due to personal circumstances. There might be family issues, relationship problems with your partner or business betrayals but being harsh on yourself would not give you happier results. Being sad in the moment is acceptable but try focusing on your personal strengths, abilities and compassionate traits. Be gentle and soulful!

2. Feel The Love Within & Be That Love

You can feel love inside you with loving and positive affirmations and giving yourself time to breathe in peace. Grow your soul positively through loving-kindness meditation and other spiritual practices which offer you peace. Make sure that when you practice these affirmations and meditation, you are present in the same place, physically as well as mentally.

3. Your Daily Habits Count

Yes, you read it right. In order to love yourself unconditionally along with respect, you have to be in control of your own habits, thoughts and ideas. Do you take care of your mind, body and all that it needs to feel loved? Well, treat yourself with positive traits like:

As they say, love is a state of mind then this holds true when it comes to developing self love. Discover your secret with your disciplined nature and inclusion of loving habits in between.

4. Slowly, Step Out Of Comfort Zone

You can survive in a comfort zone but growing here is just not so easy. Not making progress in your comfort zone is annoying to hear and painful to feel. Take little steps to do something extra, even if it makes you feel nervous. All you need to do is start believing in yourself and everything else which can make you achieve newer heights and better goals.

5. Get Rid Of Toxic Beliefs

All your beliefs are not accurate when you have to love yourself first. Some of them could be affecting you negatively and you may not be even aware of them. They are:

  • Vulnerability is always dangerous. But the truth is that progress begins to take place only when you come out of your comfort zone.
  • Whatever is my present decides my future! Well, the reality is absolutely different. Change is the only constant and things will eventually change.
  • Being alone is bad! If you are not comfortable spending time with yourself then you may not be able to love yourself. Happiness comes within you and hence stop seeking external factors for the same.
  • Fitting in is fine. Well, if you don’t like the company or a society then you don’t need to fit yourself inside any group forcefully.


We hope that you now understand how to love yourself before loving others and how to fall in love with yourself unconditionally. What are your views on the blog that we have shared and how do you feel about loving yourself? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

About The Author

Akanksha Soni
Akanksha Soni

Akanksha is an active lifestyle blogger and writer at Calmsage. She has learnt various lessons on happiness and methods to fight depression through 'Gurus' as well as own experiences. An ardent practitioner of Yoga and meditation, she keeps traveling, writes and interacts with people to feel alive.


  1. David

    I will practice self love and take care of myself to learn to love others.

  2. Roseline

    it was helpful to me and to all who got this assistance, continue guiding us we really need such assistance

    1. CS Team
      CS Team

      We Are glad to hear that. Keep reading and Sharing.

  3. Carol

    Very interesting & true to the point

    1. CS Team
      CS Team

      Hello Carol, Thank you for Your Feedback.

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