From Heartache to Healing: How to Overcome Breakup Grief?

Last Update on March 15, 2024 : Published on March 16, 2024

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Breakups can be tough; they can leave us feeling lost, confused, and overwhelmed with emotions. Whether it’s a mutual decision to part ways or a sudden separation, the pain can be intense and lingering. Breakups hurt because they signify the end of a relationship, one that we have invested emotions, dreams, and time into. 

When a relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a partner or a spouse; it’s the loss of shared experiences and emotional support. The pain from a breakup stems from the sudden change in our lives and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. It’s natural to feel complicated emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and even at times, relief. 

But, why do breakups hurt so much? How can we overcome this sense of loss? Let’s read further to understand what breakup grief is, what is the grieving process after breakup, and how you can deal with breakup grief. 

Is Breakup Grief Normal? 

Yes! Grieving after a breakup is entirely normal. The grieving process is about coming to terms with the loss and adjusting to life without the person who was once a big part of your life. Each person’s grieving process is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve your loss. Some people might experience intense emotions immediately, while others may feel numbness as they gradually begin to process their feelings. 

Breakup grief shares many similarities with other forms of grief and bereavement. Losing a loved one and losing a relationship involves mourning the end of a relationship and the following emotions – sadness, anger, denial, and acceptance. 

Just like losing a loved one, a breakup needs us to adjust to a new reality and find ways to cope with our emotions. 

While breakup grief and bereavement might be similar, there are also differences between the two. In the case of a breakup, the partner we’re grieving is still alive, which can add a layer of complexity to the grieving process. We may still have to see and meet with your ex-partner, which can only prolong the healing and make it harder to move on. 

Moreover, breakup grief often involves feelings of rejection and self-doubt, which may not be as common as other forms of grief. 

Does Breakup Grief Follow The 5 Stages of Grief? 

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages provide a framework for understanding grief, it’s important to remember that not everyone will experience them in the same order or intensity. For example; 

  • Denial: You might refuse to accept that the relationship is over, clinging to hope for some sort of reconciliation. 
  • Anger: As the reality of your breakup sets in, you may feel angry at your partner, yourself, or the situation that led to the breakup. 
  • Bargaining: You might find yourself bargaining with your partner or the situation, wishing you could go back and change things, or trying to negotiate with your ex-partner. 
  • Depression: Feelings of sadness and hopelessness over your relationship may set in, where you overwhelm yourself as you come to terms with the loss. 
  • Acceptance: Eventually, you reach a point where you can accept the end of the relationship and start to move forward with your life from that point forward. 

It’s important to note that these stages of grief – naturally or breakup – are not linear, and you may find yourself cycling through these stages multiple times before reaching acceptance. 

Processing grief after a breakup is crucial for our emotional well-being and future relationships. By allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions, you can work through the pain and eventually find closure. Suppressing your feelings can lead to unresolved issues that may resurface in future relationships. 

Dealing With Breakup Grief…

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve 

Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up – positive or negative. These emotions can include sadness, anger, or confusion. Don’t judge yourself for how you’re feeling; it’s all part of the grieving process. 

2. Reach Out for Support 

Do not hesitate to lean on your friends and family for support during this breakup grieving process. Talking about your feelings with your loved ones can offer you comfort and validation. So, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. 

3. Take Care of Yourself

Make a self-care routine and take care of yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. You can also engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation – whether it’s reading a book, meditating, or spending time in nature. 

4. Reflect on Yourself

Take this time to reflect on your relationship with your ex and how it made you feel. Self-reflection can offer you space to understand what went wrong and grow from there. This can be challenging, but it can also offer you insights into your needs and boundaries. 

5. Be Open to New Relationships 

While you’re dealing with breakup grief, do not shut yourself out from finding new connections. Letting yourself be open to new relationships can be challenging, but doing so will help you get the closure you deserve and move forward in life. 

6. Seek Help From a Professional 

If you’re still struggling to cope with your emotions, then consider seeking help from a professional. A therapist can provide you with the right tools and strategies to help you move through your grieving process effectively. A trained therapist can give you a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your feelings and work through the pain.

Get Help From A Professional TODAY


 Wrap Up… 

Breakup grief is a natural and inevitable part of ending a relationship that means a lot to you. While it can be incredibly painful, it’s important to remember that healing is possible with some emotional TLC, time, self-care, and social support. By allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions, seeking support when needed, and taking care of yourself, you can move through your breakup and come out stronger and wiser on the other side. 

I hope this article helped you understand what breakup grief is, how it is processed, and how you can deal with breakup grief. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Take Care! 


About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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