Long Distance Relationship: Making It Work The Right Way
Many people sigh in denial at the mere idea of being in a long distance relationship, even if just for a few miles. Whereas on the flipside, others are spending years of togetherness, despite being miles away. So, is there a magic trick that they are using?
Well YES! There is a magic trick behind making long-distance relationships work in a healthy and happy manner. This write-up will introduce you to that magic trick of making it all worthwhile.
Make it INTERESTING
Just because you are miles away really doesn’t mean that you can’t plan to do things together just like others who are staying together? In fact you should put in that extra effort to make the relationship interesting. And as Rachel Noheban-Wachtel says- ‘There are things couples can do to keep the spice alive in their relationship across the miles”, so why not try it for self. You definitely can create your own list of activities that you both can enjoy together but for starters here are some ideas for you:
Play online games together: It is scientifically proven to improve your communication and bond. You can play games like- Knight Jump, Monster BreakOut Adventurous, Speed Fever to name a few.
Plan a movie date: You really don’t have to wait to watch a movie together till the time you see each other next. Select a genre and give each other chances to select the movie. It will introduce you to each other’s choices.
Have your LDR playlist: Missing your loved one but can’t be on call or text them? How about listening to their favorite music list? Or the one you listened to when you were last together? Make a list of your favourite songs and share with each other.
Exercise together: Being physically fit together will definitely boost your mental health. Plan your exercise time together. It will give you a sense of being together despite being away.
You can add to this list as per your own likes and pep up your relationship 😉
Additional Tip: At least plan one activity for a week so that you both feel connected.
Make TRUST Your Mantra
Whether you are geographically close or distantly apart trust has to be the building stone of any relationship. However, when in a LDR the uncertainties and skepticism is on a whole different level. Which, in turn, works as the number one killer of long distance relationships, as suggested by Chris Armstrong (relationship coach). So build that trust in your relationship, which will require equal efforts. This asks for honesty. Be honest with your partner about your life, emotions, and thoughts. Share your life with them; they are your partner not just for the record but in life generally. Once, you will be able to communicate this to your significant other the trust will pave its way in your relationship.
Additional Tip: Understand the difference between checking in and checking up on. The former is preferred over the later.
Make COMMUNICATION Your Key
Interestingly, Kelmer ET Al. in their study found that long distance couples are more satisfied with their communication. Communicating doesn’t mean talking 100 times; rather it is about making sure that even if you talk twice it is a quality communication between you two. Quality doesn’t mean avoiding smaller details of your life, in fact it asks for conveying the good and bad to each other. You can’t assume the other person to know what is the good or bad that the day has offered you (c’mon they can’t see you) until you won’t update them. Make sure you give this to them without social acceptance filters attached to it!
Apart from talking about how the day has been, do communicate your feelings. Missing them? Tell them!!! Even if it is for the 10th time in a day!
Additional Tip: Never go to bed mad! Sort things before sleeping so that you can start a day as fresh as a daisy.
Make GREETINGS Your Schedule
Imagine waking up to a good morning and sleeping to a good night text by your favorite person? Could it get any better? No! So, make it a part of your love life to greet each other with morning and night texts. There is no harm telling them that they are the first thought to cross your mind as soon as you wake up and the last thought you want to sleep with. Sounds a little cliché? But, trust me it will work wonders to give that power, positivity and happiness to your relationship.
Additional Tip: Selfie with a good morning text will definitely boost up your connection. You really don’t have to do it daily, but on days when showering love is what you want to do, go for it.
Can’t plan a trip to meet your loved one? Well, you can still remind them of your presence and love by surprising them with little things like-
- A mailed love letter,
- A video or folder of your times together,
- A cupcake or bunch of flowers,
- Their favorite food delivered to them
You really don’t have to wait for a special day, even the ones living together don’t. If you feel like it… just do it!!! “Everyone enjoys a special date, but the happiest couples still enjoy one another when it isn’t special” Dr. Howe’s words can help here.
Don’t forget to take your long distance as an opportunity and as a learning journey for you two. See it as a test of your love for each other and keep reminding ourselves:
“If you want to live together, first you need to learn how to live apart”
P.S. Don’t forget to visit each other.
Looking for some more inspiration? Here are some long distance movies for you to watch:
- The time traveler’s Wife
- Long Distance princess
- Going the distance
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