Do You Care What People Think About You? STOP! Here Are 8 Tips To Help You!
We all crave the care and affection we can get from others, especially our loved ones but did you know that worrying too much about what others think of us can impact our mental and emotional health?
Trust me, we all have those embarrassing moments from high school that we wish we could forget – and wish that others might’ve forgotten them too. Chances are that our peers from back then really have forgotten those moments but explaining that to the mind can be a little tough.
Even if others don’t remember, we tend to spend a lot of time and precious energy worrying (and sometimes over-worrying) about what others think about us. No matter how much you lie to yourself, you still care what people think, don’t you? Well, you need to stop.
In this article, I will talk about why you care so much about what other people think, the signs you need to know, and how to stop worrying about what others think.
Why Do You Care What Others Think?
The fear of not being accepted is real! We, humans, are social creatures at heart, and the need to feel accepted was (and is) considered quite important for social survival. The need for connection, and companionship is what keeps many of us going, living, and surviving.
So placing thought on what others think about us is natural and inevitable. Did you know that in an imaging study, it was found that chemical responses happened when one received destructive or constructive feedback? Fear of destructive feedback was especially heightened in people with social anxiety, low self-esteem, and people with hardly any emotional support.
These people were also more likely to care what people think about them.
Putting so much of your time and energy into worrying about what others think can not only hurt your mental and emotional health but can also affect your self-image or sense of self.
Whatever you experience, always remember, you can develop a strong sense of self
Caring about what other people think and accepting their opinions as validation can get you stuck in a never-ending cycle of vulnerability and insecurity. However, caring about how our actions affect others can help create meaningful and lasting relationships.
Signs You Care Too Much What Others Think
If you relate to the worries about caring too much about what others think about you, then you need to be aware of these signs too!
- You change yourself when you hear criticism
- You let others make decisions for you
- You hesitate to maintain boundaries (and set them in the first place)
- You consider yourself a perfectionist
- You hold your opinion or thoughts if they are different from others’
- Your peace of mind relies on external approval or validation
- You over-apologize even when you did nothing wrong
- You hardly ever say “no.”
How To Stop Worrying About What Others Think?
Here are some tips to help you stop caring about what other people think:
1. Accept That Everyone Is Entitled To Their Opinions
You can’t avoid judgment, no matter how hard you try. People are entitled to their opinions and the freedom of speech allows them to express those opinions, regardless. So, accept (and expect) that others will form opinions about you. But you don’t have to think about their opinions. Just remind yourself that “It’s okay for them to have an opinion but I don’t have to accept it.”
2. Learn To Control Your Feelings
Others’ poor opinions about you are theirs and you don’t have to translate them into emotions. You can’t control how or what others think about you but you can control your feelings when it comes to that. Mindfulness, or the practice of staying in the moment, can help. Be aware and accept how you feel in the present moment. When you begin to live in the present, you live less in your mind and let others’ opinions be your thoughts.
3. Accept That Mistakes Are Bound To Happen
No one can be perfect and to expect perfection from all is not very helpful. And when you expect perfection, when someone fails to stand up to the said perfection, it can only bring disappointment. When someone says something – especially criticism – remember that they are not perfect and are bound to make mistakes. Even if you make a mistake, don’t let others’ criticism stop your self-growth. Mistakes are a part of growth, so learn to accept them from yourself and others.
4. Have A Strong Sense Of Self
When you’re sure of yourself – of who you are – it can help not worry too much about what others think. Take some time to self-reflect and answer questions like; Who you are? What do you like? Creating a strong sense of self can help you stay grounded when others pass criticism.
5. Remember, You Are NOT A Mind Reader
Many people have an idea of how others think of them but still, there’s a lot of room for doubt. You begin to associate with traits you probably don’t have when you let others’ opinions about you cloud your judgment. At the end of the day, you are not a mind reader so don’t attempt to read or think what others are thinking. It can be quite stressful and not a lot of help.
6. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
When you surround yourself with supportive people who accept you as you are, it can help a lot to stop worrying about what others think. Avoid spending time with people who don’t accept you as you are. That way you won’t always have to hear about their opinions against you. Try to find a company with whom you can be yourself and be open with your thoughts.
7. Avoid Judging Everyone On Their First Impression
When you meet a new person, avoid judging them on their first impressions. Even if the meeting isn’t going great, just give yourself – and them – some time. Second chances rarely hurt anyone. Learn to accept others and once you do this, you’ll realize that what others think of you rarely matters. When you give others the benefit of doubt, why can’t you extend the same courtesy to yourself?
8. Lastly, Always Remain True To Yourself
Being honest with yourself can be scary but you need to follow this rule if you want to stop caring what others think. Speak your mind and be honest with yourself – and others. Just remember to not hurt anyone with your words or actions – intentionally or unintentionally. Be careful of others’ feelings, don’t suppress yours, but always remember to follow your heart, listen to yourself, and stop caring what others think.
If nothing works, consider seeking professional help and seeking therapy. Therapy can help hone your existing skills, build new coping techniques to better handle criticism, and improve your self-confidence. Approaches like cognitive-behavioral health (CBT) works well.
If you do care what people think about you, you are not alone! Feedback can matter a lot – negative and positive – but try to focus more on constructive criticism and less on destructive feedback, it’s not helping you.
Remember, just like you won’t judge others, avoid judging yourself. Give yourself time and space to come to terms with your opinions. Don’t worry about what others think, they have their own opinions and things to deal with.
Keep true to yourself and consider seeking help when you need it. You can always connect with an online therapy provider or write to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also drop us a DM on our social media.
Do you care about what others think about you? Do these tips help? Let us know in the comments below!